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I worked for West Communications for a summer job about a year ago, from July to the end of August. For about two and a half weeks I worked activating Sears credit cards; the rest of the time I worked for SBC doing their phone service, DSL, long distance, and all that fun stuff.
And do I have some stories to tell. . .
This first one is from July 5th when I was doing the Sears cards, and we were hammered.
SC - Sucky Customer
SCH - Sucky Customer's husband
ME - The one and only
Me - Thank you for calling the Sears card activation center. May I get the last four digits of your card number, please?
Sc - You want last four digits on card? (She's asian. Nothing against the asians, but it's obvious that english isn't her first language. Oh, great.)
Me - Yes, the last four digits on your card.
Sc- Uhh. . .*numbers*
At this point I look up her name and then we get onto the security question.
Me - Alright, for your protection, we do ask that all customers select a password that you can easily remember. . .
Sch - Yeah, I'm her husband, she's getting confused, can we just cut the crap and get right to it? (He has a heavy Brooklyn accent)
Me - *Oh thank God* Yes sir, but I do need to ask her to set up a security passcode, and this should be something easily remembered, like a pet's name or her mother's maiden name. May I ask what she wants to use?"
Sch - Do we gotta do this crap?
Me - Yes, sir.
Sch - Are you serious!? Why do we have to jump through all these damned hoops.
Me - Sir, it's for your wife's security, and, unfortunately, I cannot continue without a security password.
He's not very happy. We get this ironed back and he hands the phone back.
I see that she's eligable for the Account Care program, and she only cares about getting the card activated.
Sc - Is card activated?
Me - *trying to get the account care sales pitch in* Your card is not yet activated. . .
Sc - Card not activated?
Sch - *I can hear him shout from across the room* The card's not activated!?
Me - *I sense a serious tounge lashing and cut my losses*. "Uhh, your card has now been activated and can now be used. . .
Luckily, he never got the phone back after hearing that the card was activated. I could only think I dodged a bullet there. . .
And the calls continued. . .
This next one comes from my SBC stint.
Me: Yours truly
Sc: Sucky customer
Mg: Manager
Me - Thank you for holding, my name is Arghetlam and this call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes. May I get your telephone number with the area code first please?
Sc - *number*
Me - Thank you, it will take me just a second to bring up your account information. . .
*we go through all the legal bull I gotta do before I can ask what it is he's looking for.*
Me - Alright, sir, what can I help you with?
Sc - Yes, I'd like to get your 14.95 DSL.
Me - Alright, sir, let me go ahead and look that up for you. . .Alright, sir, I'm seeing that you don't have our package deal, and you can only get the 14.95 DSL if you have this package.
Sc - But the commercial said I can get it for 14.95. You're just tryin' to hock me somethin'.
Me - Sir, I can understand how you feel, but without the package, I can only offer you the DSL for 29.95.
Sc - But it says right here on your website that I can get it for 14.95, and it don't say nuthin' about needing a package.
Me - Alright, sir, let me look at this. . .*I look it up* Alright, sir, it says that you can get the 14.95 DSL under certan conditions. One of those conditions is having that package.
Sc - Bull. Let me talk to a manager.
Me - Alright, sir, if I may place you on hold while I flag a manager down. . . *I manage to wave down a manager.*
Mg - Okay, sir, how may I help you? (From here, I can only hear his side of the conversation).
Pause.
Okay, sir, that is true, you must order the package to get the 14.95 DSL. . .Okay. Okay, sir. I'm sorry that I couldn't help you better today. I apologize. . .you have a good day, sir.
Hang up.
Mg: Jerkoff.
And, this sparkling little gem also comes from SBC. Let's assume this takes place July 24th.
Starting speil
Me - Okay, sir, how may I help you today?
Sc - I'd like to get a new phone line put in.
Me - Alright sir, I can go ahead and get it set up for you. . .I can set your installation date for July 28th.
Sc - The 28th? I called in three days ago and they said I could get it done tomorrow!
Me - Well, sir, it takes time to get the techs to get the order and get you queued up.
Sc - Well, I want my phone line installed tomorrow like I was told!
Me - Sir, the best way I'm gonna be able to help you with this is to transfer you to our Customer Service line.
Sc - Fine, fine, fine. The twenty-eighth. Let's go.
Me - Alright sir -
Sc - Oh, and I need to be able to pick my phone number. It's important that I get this for my business.
Me - *Oh, shit. You generally get to pick between three or four, but he ain't gonna like 'em, and I ain't tellin' him a custom phone number is $40.*. I'll see what I can do.
Sc - Okay, whatever, just get it done.
*We finish the order*
Me - Okay, sir, your phone number will be sent out in the mail -
Sc -What!? I said I needed a custom phone number, now I want my number, and I want it now!
Me - Sir, the best way I'm going to be able to help you is to transfer you to the Customer Service line -
Sc - No, I want you to get me my phone number! You won't pass me off to another line!
Me - Sir, they will best be able to handle your request; I don't have the tools to do it from here.
Sc - Fine, just do it.
Me - Alright, sir, I'm transferring you now.
*Transfer*
And this last one, while not a stupid customer, was still pretty cool. He gets an Hc for Honest customer. And this was at Sears.
*We go through the whole speil*
Hc - Can I get a check on my account balance?
Me - If you'd like, I can transfer you to the Sears card center. . .
Hc - Do you not have it there?
Me - I just work at a call center, I don't have it.
Hc - I know you might be monitored so you can't say anything, but I think that's
lame.
Me - *Oh, hell, yeah!* Well, sir, I can still transfer you if you'd like.
Hc - No, that's fine. You have a good day.
Me - You too, sir.
And those are my joys at the call center.
And do I have some stories to tell. . .
This first one is from July 5th when I was doing the Sears cards, and we were hammered.
SC - Sucky Customer
SCH - Sucky Customer's husband
ME - The one and only
Me - Thank you for calling the Sears card activation center. May I get the last four digits of your card number, please?
Sc - You want last four digits on card? (She's asian. Nothing against the asians, but it's obvious that english isn't her first language. Oh, great.)
Me - Yes, the last four digits on your card.
Sc- Uhh. . .*numbers*
At this point I look up her name and then we get onto the security question.
Me - Alright, for your protection, we do ask that all customers select a password that you can easily remember. . .
Sch - Yeah, I'm her husband, she's getting confused, can we just cut the crap and get right to it? (He has a heavy Brooklyn accent)
Me - *Oh thank God* Yes sir, but I do need to ask her to set up a security passcode, and this should be something easily remembered, like a pet's name or her mother's maiden name. May I ask what she wants to use?"
Sch - Do we gotta do this crap?
Me - Yes, sir.
Sch - Are you serious!? Why do we have to jump through all these damned hoops.
Me - Sir, it's for your wife's security, and, unfortunately, I cannot continue without a security password.
He's not very happy. We get this ironed back and he hands the phone back.
I see that she's eligable for the Account Care program, and she only cares about getting the card activated.
Sc - Is card activated?
Me - *trying to get the account care sales pitch in* Your card is not yet activated. . .
Sc - Card not activated?
Sch - *I can hear him shout from across the room* The card's not activated!?
Me - *I sense a serious tounge lashing and cut my losses*. "Uhh, your card has now been activated and can now be used. . .
Luckily, he never got the phone back after hearing that the card was activated. I could only think I dodged a bullet there. . .
And the calls continued. . .
This next one comes from my SBC stint.
Me: Yours truly
Sc: Sucky customer
Mg: Manager
Me - Thank you for holding, my name is Arghetlam and this call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes. May I get your telephone number with the area code first please?
Sc - *number*
Me - Thank you, it will take me just a second to bring up your account information. . .
*we go through all the legal bull I gotta do before I can ask what it is he's looking for.*
Me - Alright, sir, what can I help you with?
Sc - Yes, I'd like to get your 14.95 DSL.
Me - Alright, sir, let me go ahead and look that up for you. . .Alright, sir, I'm seeing that you don't have our package deal, and you can only get the 14.95 DSL if you have this package.
Sc - But the commercial said I can get it for 14.95. You're just tryin' to hock me somethin'.
Me - Sir, I can understand how you feel, but without the package, I can only offer you the DSL for 29.95.
Sc - But it says right here on your website that I can get it for 14.95, and it don't say nuthin' about needing a package.
Me - Alright, sir, let me look at this. . .*I look it up* Alright, sir, it says that you can get the 14.95 DSL under certan conditions. One of those conditions is having that package.
Sc - Bull. Let me talk to a manager.
Me - Alright, sir, if I may place you on hold while I flag a manager down. . . *I manage to wave down a manager.*
Mg - Okay, sir, how may I help you? (From here, I can only hear his side of the conversation).
Pause.
Okay, sir, that is true, you must order the package to get the 14.95 DSL. . .Okay. Okay, sir. I'm sorry that I couldn't help you better today. I apologize. . .you have a good day, sir.
Hang up.
Mg: Jerkoff.
And, this sparkling little gem also comes from SBC. Let's assume this takes place July 24th.
Starting speil
Me - Okay, sir, how may I help you today?
Sc - I'd like to get a new phone line put in.
Me - Alright sir, I can go ahead and get it set up for you. . .I can set your installation date for July 28th.
Sc - The 28th? I called in three days ago and they said I could get it done tomorrow!
Me - Well, sir, it takes time to get the techs to get the order and get you queued up.
Sc - Well, I want my phone line installed tomorrow like I was told!
Me - Sir, the best way I'm gonna be able to help you with this is to transfer you to our Customer Service line.
Sc - Fine, fine, fine. The twenty-eighth. Let's go.
Me - Alright sir -
Sc - Oh, and I need to be able to pick my phone number. It's important that I get this for my business.
Me - *Oh, shit. You generally get to pick between three or four, but he ain't gonna like 'em, and I ain't tellin' him a custom phone number is $40.*. I'll see what I can do.
Sc - Okay, whatever, just get it done.
*We finish the order*
Me - Okay, sir, your phone number will be sent out in the mail -
Sc -What!? I said I needed a custom phone number, now I want my number, and I want it now!
Me - Sir, the best way I'm going to be able to help you is to transfer you to the Customer Service line -
Sc - No, I want you to get me my phone number! You won't pass me off to another line!
Me - Sir, they will best be able to handle your request; I don't have the tools to do it from here.
Sc - Fine, just do it.
Me - Alright, sir, I'm transferring you now.
*Transfer*
And this last one, while not a stupid customer, was still pretty cool. He gets an Hc for Honest customer. And this was at Sears.
*We go through the whole speil*
Hc - Can I get a check on my account balance?
Me - If you'd like, I can transfer you to the Sears card center. . .
Hc - Do you not have it there?
Me - I just work at a call center, I don't have it.
Hc - I know you might be monitored so you can't say anything, but I think that's
lame.Me - *Oh, hell, yeah!* Well, sir, I can still transfer you if you'd like.
Hc - No, that's fine. You have a good day.
Me - You too, sir.
And those are my joys at the call center.