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Let's just get right to it:
Dear Fucktards at Radio Shack:
What kind of dirtbags are you that you've started throwing your trash behind our store?
I got called outside to dispose of two bags of garbage of yours, containing computer parts, food wrappers and bags, and I don't want to know what else. Here's a hint for you: next time you decide to leave your trash lie, don't leave it in big, easily-identifiable Radio Shack bags.
And for fuck's sake, the dumpster was just a few steps away from where you dumped your trash!
Do this again, and I'll bring the bags of trash into your store, slit them open, and let the garbage rain onto your carpeted floor. Capeche?
Killing Webkinz
Apparently the hot new trend in shoplifting is to rip the tag off Webkinz dolls, pocket it, then go on the Intarwebz and enter the code on the Webkinz site, so you get to play Webkinz without actually having to buy any Webkinz.
The dolls then get stashed anyplace that's hidden, such as in the furniture department, under the sofa displays.
Apparently, somebody found out their daughter had stolen a Webkinz code in the manner described above, and asked if there was any way she could cancel the account or kill the Webkinz on the computer. Our LP girl was asking us about this today. Apparently the parent tried changing the passwords on the account but the daughter got into the account anyway.
So do any of you have any ideas? It's not as easy as putting out poison, ya know.
So much for generosity
Co-worker: Can I borrow your boxcutter Irv? I'll give it right back!
Me: ....okay, I guess.
Co-worker: Great! I'll give it back to you in a few minutes.
Five or six hours later:
Me: Can I have my boxcutter back?
Co-worker:
Ummm...I lost it. I looked everywhere for it.
Me: You absolutely don't know where it is?
Co-worker: No.
Me: Okay, don't worry about it.
Awesome! Now I get to go back to using my old boxcutter which I have been told not to use anymore, because it isn't "safe" and shit, and pay $5 to get a new, company-approved one. I had to sign a sheet when I got my safety cutter which said I would be responsible for paying for a replacement if I needed it.
Next time somebody asks to borrow my boxcutter, the answer will be "No. Use your keys."
Is the spokesperson's name "Bob", by any chance?
We are going to be rolling out a new brand of electronics items exclusive to our store. It is called "Encite"
Which, curiously, is two letters away from theboner pill male enhancement supplement Enzyte, which is pitched by some guy named Bob with a silly smile plastered on his face:
This is Bob. Bob takes Enzyte. Now he's pitching a tent 24-7 and so forth.
I swear, does it ever dawn on corporate that these product names can be made fun of in such a manner? I don't know if I want to see the TV commercials for these items.
Frustrating Furniture Fucktardery Foofaraw
Just as I was getting ready to leave for the day...carryout. Shit. I called the cashier and was asked to deliver two bookcases in an espresso finish. (Really, really dark stained brown)
Get the bookcases loaded up and out to the customer, and begin to load them into her van:
Customer: These aren't what I purchased. I wanted black ones.
Me: We don't carry these bookcases in black.
Customer: They have to be black. These don't look black. If they're not black she (whoever's going to end up using these bookcases) won't want them.
Me: It's a deep, dark brown finish. The grain of the wood is visible from close up, but not from a distance.
Customer: Can you open one up so I can see?
I open up one of the boxes and pull out one of the pieces.
Customer: Take them back. They're not black.
Sexytime! Now I get to tape up the box I opened up Just For You, and return them both to the backroom, re-backstock them, and punch out late, just because you're an inobservant assbag. What qualifies me to make such a judgment, you ask? It's simple, really. We have these bookcases on display so people can see the finishes and decide if they'll work with their decor. You had to have looked at it for at least a little while, because the display is where you got your pull tags from.
So feel free to do your shopping at Wally World from now on. I'm sure they have all the black bookcases you could ever want. And schedule an appointment with your optometrist.
We had a big one-day sale today. Saturday we have another big sale with doorbusters. Guess who's doing carryouts that day as well?
Dear Fucktards at Radio Shack:
What kind of dirtbags are you that you've started throwing your trash behind our store?
I got called outside to dispose of two bags of garbage of yours, containing computer parts, food wrappers and bags, and I don't want to know what else. Here's a hint for you: next time you decide to leave your trash lie, don't leave it in big, easily-identifiable Radio Shack bags.
And for fuck's sake, the dumpster was just a few steps away from where you dumped your trash!
Do this again, and I'll bring the bags of trash into your store, slit them open, and let the garbage rain onto your carpeted floor. Capeche?
Killing Webkinz
Apparently the hot new trend in shoplifting is to rip the tag off Webkinz dolls, pocket it, then go on the Intarwebz and enter the code on the Webkinz site, so you get to play Webkinz without actually having to buy any Webkinz.
The dolls then get stashed anyplace that's hidden, such as in the furniture department, under the sofa displays.
Apparently, somebody found out their daughter had stolen a Webkinz code in the manner described above, and asked if there was any way she could cancel the account or kill the Webkinz on the computer. Our LP girl was asking us about this today. Apparently the parent tried changing the passwords on the account but the daughter got into the account anyway.
So do any of you have any ideas? It's not as easy as putting out poison, ya know.
So much for generosity
Co-worker: Can I borrow your boxcutter Irv? I'll give it right back!
Me: ....okay, I guess.
Co-worker: Great! I'll give it back to you in a few minutes.
Five or six hours later:
Me: Can I have my boxcutter back?
Co-worker:
Ummm...I lost it. I looked everywhere for it.Me: You absolutely don't know where it is?
Co-worker: No.
Me: Okay, don't worry about it.
Awesome! Now I get to go back to using my old boxcutter which I have been told not to use anymore, because it isn't "safe" and shit, and pay $5 to get a new, company-approved one. I had to sign a sheet when I got my safety cutter which said I would be responsible for paying for a replacement if I needed it.
Next time somebody asks to borrow my boxcutter, the answer will be "No. Use your keys."
Is the spokesperson's name "Bob", by any chance?
We are going to be rolling out a new brand of electronics items exclusive to our store. It is called "Encite"
Which, curiously, is two letters away from the
This is Bob. Bob takes Enzyte. Now he's pitching a tent 24-7 and so forth.
I swear, does it ever dawn on corporate that these product names can be made fun of in such a manner? I don't know if I want to see the TV commercials for these items.
Frustrating Furniture Fucktardery Foofaraw
Just as I was getting ready to leave for the day...carryout. Shit. I called the cashier and was asked to deliver two bookcases in an espresso finish. (Really, really dark stained brown)
Get the bookcases loaded up and out to the customer, and begin to load them into her van:
Customer: These aren't what I purchased. I wanted black ones.
Me: We don't carry these bookcases in black.
Customer: They have to be black. These don't look black. If they're not black she (whoever's going to end up using these bookcases) won't want them.
Me: It's a deep, dark brown finish. The grain of the wood is visible from close up, but not from a distance.
Customer: Can you open one up so I can see?
I open up one of the boxes and pull out one of the pieces.
Customer: Take them back. They're not black.
Sexytime! Now I get to tape up the box I opened up Just For You, and return them both to the backroom, re-backstock them, and punch out late, just because you're an inobservant assbag. What qualifies me to make such a judgment, you ask? It's simple, really. We have these bookcases on display so people can see the finishes and decide if they'll work with their decor. You had to have looked at it for at least a little while, because the display is where you got your pull tags from.
So feel free to do your shopping at Wally World from now on. I'm sure they have all the black bookcases you could ever want. And schedule an appointment with your optometrist.
We had a big one-day sale today. Saturday we have another big sale with doorbusters. Guess who's doing carryouts that day as well?
He was begging me to change it with in a hour after he got back.
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