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Yes, I'm posting again today. We're short-staffed, the phones are full of crazy people, and I still have 1 hour left of my 10 hour day.
Me:
tired phone rep going all stabbity at people now
SC: All of the real estate realtors calling
CW: Coworker
Anyone else special is marked.
**********
SC: "I'm getting an error."
CW: "What does the error say?"
SC: "That's immaterial."
CW: "Well... what fields are you entering when you get this error?"
SC: "That's immaterial."
CW: "What's the MLS number that's you're editing?"
SC: "I'm too busy to get you that."
CW: "I'm sorry, but I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is!"
**********
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I'm having a problem adding search fields."
Me: "Ok, are you still at the search screen?"
SC: "I'm not at my computer."
Me: "..."
SC: "I'm doing dishes."
Me: "Call back when you're at a computer."
**********
Tora (Team Lead): "There's something wrong with my phone."
Patrick (IT): "What is it?"
Tora: "I hear voices on it... and they won't go away!"
The rest of us:
**********
You are: a slimy looking agent in your mid-40s. I know... we looked up your picture and laughed at you.
I am: The phone rep wishing that I wasn't talking to you.
I am NOT: Honey, Sweetie, Deary, Love, Sweetheart, Lovey, or Hon, even though you managed to call me ALL of those in the 15 min I was trying to strangle myself with the phone cord.
You really need to attach raw steak to your body using a staple gun, find a tank of sharks, and jump in. Now.
Thank you.
**********
And yes, I am female. I still know how to use a computer. In fact, I know how to use a computer better than you. Hell, someone from Nunavut can probably use a computer better than you! Don't insist that you need to speak with a man when the problem is just that you can't remove your head from you arse long enough to actually use the BRIGHT RED Log Off button and instead need to call to have us reset your session! Clean the crap from your ears and turn up your hearing aid when I talk to you. Or better yet, put your grandchildren on the phone.
BTW... I hate to break it to you... either your wife or your daughter (or your daughter-wife) cheated, because your grandchildren at least know how to listen and seem to have intelligence. You must be so shocked that your family telephone-pole is actually gaining a few branches.
Me:
tired phone rep going all stabbity at people nowSC: All of the real estate realtors calling
CW: Coworker
Anyone else special is marked.
**********
SC: "I'm getting an error."
CW: "What does the error say?"
SC: "That's immaterial."
CW: "Well... what fields are you entering when you get this error?"
SC: "That's immaterial."
CW: "What's the MLS number that's you're editing?"
SC: "I'm too busy to get you that."
CW: "I'm sorry, but I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is!"
**********
Me: "(Company Name) Customer Care, how may I help you?"
SC: "I'm having a problem adding search fields."
Me: "Ok, are you still at the search screen?"
SC: "I'm not at my computer."
Me: "..."
SC: "I'm doing dishes."
Me: "Call back when you're at a computer."
**********
Tora (Team Lead): "There's something wrong with my phone."
Patrick (IT): "What is it?"
Tora: "I hear voices on it... and they won't go away!"
The rest of us:
**********
You are: a slimy looking agent in your mid-40s. I know... we looked up your picture and laughed at you.
I am: The phone rep wishing that I wasn't talking to you.
I am NOT: Honey, Sweetie, Deary, Love, Sweetheart, Lovey, or Hon, even though you managed to call me ALL of those in the 15 min I was trying to strangle myself with the phone cord.
You really need to attach raw steak to your body using a staple gun, find a tank of sharks, and jump in. Now.
Thank you.
**********
And yes, I am female. I still know how to use a computer. In fact, I know how to use a computer better than you. Hell, someone from Nunavut can probably use a computer better than you! Don't insist that you need to speak with a man when the problem is just that you can't remove your head from you arse long enough to actually use the BRIGHT RED Log Off button and instead need to call to have us reset your session! Clean the crap from your ears and turn up your hearing aid when I talk to you. Or better yet, put your grandchildren on the phone.
BTW... I hate to break it to you... either your wife or your daughter (or your daughter-wife) cheated, because your grandchildren at least know how to listen and seem to have intelligence. You must be so shocked that your family telephone-pole is actually gaining a few branches.
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