And yet more tales from Textbook Hell

[lupo pazzesco]

Let's jump right into it, shall we? I must say, after rewriting this out, I was actually rather bitchy in some cases. Must be my tolerance for BS flatlining....

Scratch off coupon? I shall scratch thine eyes out!
Ok, seriously, on WHAT planet does this mean it's ok, just because you said so?

SC: <At my register as I ring up her books> And I got this scratch off in the mail?
Me: Oh, no problem. Choose one to scratch off and we'll apply whatever it is to your book purchase.
SC: <Scratches it off, and it's $10 off her book purchase> Oh cool.
Me: Congratulations, now I'll just take that and--
SC: Wait! I'm going to scratch the others and see what they are.
Me: Ma'am you can't!
SC: <Scratches part of another one anyway> Oh, it's another $10 off. Whatever, I'll just go with the first one.
Me: Ma'am, I'm sorry, I can't use that now
SC: What do you mean!?!
Me: You were only supposed to scratch one. The coupon is void now. It's no goo
SC: But you WATCHED ME DO IT!!
Me: <EXACTLY!!> Ma'am, the rules are very clearly stated. I can't use that coupon.
SC: <Glares at me> Fine. Then I'm done here! <Storms out without buying her books.>
Me:



Plinko Girl, part deux
So, I'm once again resigned to being Plinko Girl again (but I didn't wear the button. Hah!!) and in the few minutes I was there, I had a few SCs....

THE FIRST
SC: <After hitting the sorry slot, meaning $0> Gimme another token!!
Me: I'm sorry, sir, one try per customer.
SC: Gimme another token!
Me: Er...<Repeats>
SC: FUCK YOU!!
Me: No thanks...?


THE SECOND
SC: <Wins $10 off textbooks> Sweet! Now, what else can you give me?
Me: Ma'am, the ticket shows you won $10 off textbooks...
SC: So?
Me: So...you get $10 off textbooks...
SC: <Cat butt face> That isn't very useful!
Me: You want to give the coupon back?
SC: You suck!! <Goes to pay for her books>


THE THIRD
SC: <Wins $5 off textbooks> I want to play again!!
Me: Sorry, sir, only one turn per customer.
SC: No! You said this is like Price is Right! I get more chances.
Me: It's like Price is Right, yes sir. But not exactly like. It's only one chance per customer.
SC: So not only are you ripping off Price is Right but your not even really giving us anything good!
Me: Sir, it's obvious we're not Price is Right, you can't have more chances, and you still get $5 taken off your textbook purchase.
SC: You still are ripping off PRice is Right!
Me: We're not Price is Right!
SC: Prove it!
Me: For one thing, I'M CUTER THAN BOB BARKER AND DREW CAREY!!!
SC: <Shuts up>
Me: Now. Do you want the $5 off your textbooks?
SC: Yes...
Me: <hands him the coupon.> Now, have a great day!!
SC: <Scuttles off>

Aaaaand, I was on registers for the rest of the day, thank gods!! (Never thought I'd say that!)


You're racist!!
Yeah, had a group of black students wander up, discover their prices on books were in the hundreds of dollars and start screaming we're racist against them, purposefully charging them more and whatnot.

Enter the white and Asian group of friends who came in together and paid more, by almost double. Enter my favorite cop who goes to the black students raising a fuss. Cop then asks them if they'd REALLY like to pay equal prices, he could charge them another $300, if they really wanted.


It's like they can SMELL the money changing hands...
we had not one, not two, not three, but FIVE different bums come into our store begging for money from customers. And when they were banished, they went into the parking lot and kept at it! Our two cops had to go out and chase them off.

And one woman was ballsy enough to come back in! The cop on duty was standing up front. She came in the door, he told her to get out. She threw a fit, claiming she was allowed to shop here, and he can't do anything about it!

He said fine, shop, but buy something, and don't let me catch you begging for money.

She comes to my register. Hands me a business card. She wrote "I ned change for bus far." on it.

I told her she had to leave and she started throwing pens from my pen cup at me until the cop caught her and hauled her outside. Don't know what happened after that. I had to go clean ink off of myself.


GIMME A DISCOUNT NOW!!!!!11!!!!!!
So, we run a few different discount programs in our store, most of which are only good on school MERCHANDISE. NOT books. Doesn't stop the people trying to get the discounts on them anyways. My favorite is a radio discount we have. There's a sports radio station in town that advertises for us, and people who come in and mention they heard about us on the radio get a 15% discount on any merchandise that has the school logo. And herein enters the EW...

EW: Yes, I want the radio discount, please.
Me: I'm sorry, sir, that's only on merchandise, not on books.
WE: That's not what the ad says! Give me the discount, or I'll sue! <We're talking 0 to suck in 3.2 seconds here!>
Me: ...sue...?
EW: For false advertising! I want my discount! I got it last semester, you're just trying to scam me!!!!
Me: <Pot to kettle! Come in kettle! You're blacker'n shit, dawg!!> Sir?
EW: What? Don't make me call your manager!
Me:....the radio promotion started two weeks ago...there's no way you got the discount last semester...
EW: <aaaand, he deflates quicker than he got riled up> oh...
Me: That'll be $xxx.xx, please.
EW: <Pays and slinks away.>


I shall never use our bathroom again...
So, in one of my past posts, I mentioned something bad that happened in our women's restroom, which led to us declaring the bathrooms off limits to the public. Well, one of my asshole coworkers let a woman into the restroom, who had explosive bowel malfunctions. Oh gods, it was EVERYWHERE. And the smell...dear gods the SMELL. It seared into my sinuses. It sent my nasal hairs screaming into retreat and seeking sanctuary in the occipital lobe of my brain.

So, it was reported, and we have called the bathroom cleaning company again, and I'm using the men's room. But on one of my myriad times running around the store, I had a woman ask to use a restroom. I told her it was out of order. Cue the following conversation:

SC: No it's not! You're a liar!
Me: Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't use the restroom!
SC: I'm a student! You always lie and say the bathrooms aren't working but I know you just keep them locked because you're lazy and a liar! Now get the damn key and let me in.
Me: Ma'am, believe me, I CANNOT let you in there!
SC: YES, You CAN. OPEN THE DOOR! I just used it yesterday! <Um, all signs point to NO, you didn't!>
Me: Ma'am, I can't.
SC: Well, I'm not leaving until you do! <And she really does follow me around. I see my cop friend heading over, but I shake my head. Really, she was asking for this...> All right ma'am, I'll unlock the door, but don't say I didn't warn you... <Opens the bathroom, and she shoots me a triumphant look as she sails inside...and then I turn on the light>
SC: <Shrieks like I'm murdering her baby> OHMYGODSWHATTHEHELLISTHISMESS!?!?!?!?!
Me: THAT is why I couldn't let you into the bathroom...
SC: <Runs out, covering her face>
Me: <Locks the door again, and smiles sweetly at SC> Can I help you with ANYTHING else, ma'am?
SC: <Ignores me for the rest of her time there and leaves soon after>
Cop: I can't believe you did that...
Me: Well, she wanted in the bathroom. Who am I to not give a customer what she wants...?



And, that's all for tonight. That was just my short shift. Tomorrow I work longer... gyah....

[Pedersen]

Me: Well, she wanted in the bathroom. Who am I to not give a customer what she wants...?

The one time that "The customer is always right" worked against the customer. Bravo!

[RootedPhoenix]

That last one was full of win. I wish I would have had the courage to do that.

[lupo pazzesco]

That last one was full of win. I wish I would have had the courage to do that.

I find that the Seasonal Rush every semester lowers the bindings on my inner Bitch. And I relish in it at times. It seems a fair balance to the increased suckiness of the customers. Sort of an inverse proportion thing. Or something.

[Aethian]

I love your stories. Feel so sorry for you but damn do I love your stories.

I'm also glad that when I went in and someone asked if they could help I always said yes. Had my schedule ready and just needed to be pointed in the right direction of my books. Of course after two semesters I had it down except for one time every english teacher had a different book for them and then told us one book and the stores another.

[Amina516]

I love your stories. Feel so sorry for you but damn do I love your stories.

Ditto, LP...

I honestly dont know if Id be able to stand that much stupidity at one time. Makes me glad i dont work with the general public too often.

[otakuneko]

Those last two are pure, unadulterated, pwnage.

[smileyeagle1021]

you know Lupo, I understand your pain... trully I do... when I went to college I thought that people would be more mature and less... well stupid and sucky... nope they weren't. (i'm assuming you work in a college bookstore).

[Snowbird]

Me: Oh, no problem. Choose one to scratch off and we'll apply whatever it is to your book purchase.
SC: <Scratches it off, and it's $10 off her book purchase> Oh cool.
Me: Congratulations, now I'll just take that and--
SC: Wait! I'm going to scratch the others and see what they are.
Me: Ma'am you can't!

I think I have Willy Wonka on the brain. When I read this I could hear Gene Wilder's voice saying to one of the spoiled brats, "No. Don't. Stop.", in that completely dead tone that knows they're going to do it anyway. Even if you did this, the SC would still scratch them all off and probably say you were rude and demand to get the whole store free or something.

The stupidity you have to deal with makes my head hurt, but that last one, that was just classic.

[lupo pazzesco]

I love your stories. Feel so sorry for you but damn do I love your stories.

[B]I'm also glad that when I went in and someone asked if they could help I always said yes. Had my schedule ready and just needed to be pointed in the right direction of my books.[B]

I love you...in a strictly platonic way, naturally. Seriously, you need to give classes on how to buy textbooks! Pwease?? I bake you cookies! Or cheesecake! I'm a great cook, I swear!

you know Lupo, I understand your pain... trully I do... when I went to college I thought that people would be more mature and less... well stupid and sucky... nope they weren't. (i'm assuming you work in a college bookstore).

Ditto, LP...

I honestly dont know if Id be able to stand that much stupidity at one time. Makes me glad i dont work with the general public too often.

Yes, I work in a college bookstore. And it is painful. But for the most part, I just let things amuse me rather than get to me, you know? I laugh inside at all of them. And then come home and write everything down so other people can laugh at them, too.

I think I have Willy Wonka on the brain. When I read this I could hear Gene Wilder's voice saying to one of the spoiled brats, "No. Don't. Stop.", in that completely dead tone that knows they're going to do it anyway. Even if you did this, the SC would still scratch them all off and probably say you were rude and demand to get the whole store free or something.

The stupidity you have to deal with makes my head hurt, but that last one, that was just classic.

I was bit more animated than Willy Wonka, but yeah, at that point, I didn't care. She broke the rules. Tough patootie.

The stupidity makes my head hurt, too! And so I just mock them inside. And then come to CS and write about them, so everyone else can mock them, too!!

[Buglady]

I'm about to go buy my textbooks for the new semester... the pricelist has them at almost $600 if I have to get all new copies but I am hoping to find a couple of them used. I tried the university bookstore since they often have the same courses as my college (cross listing for transfer credit), but they aren't using the same books this year. And the Student Association used bookstore has been closed all summer because of renovations to the student centre, so they have no books at all

I promise to behave myself and to bitchslap any students I see being sucky idiots, just for you

[Chromatix]

In the olden days, I heard (from my dad) that it was common to buy textbooks second-hand (still very pricy) - but then to take extremely good care of them, so that you could sell them for the same price when you'd finished with them. It turned out to be a handy way of storing money to set yourself up at the end.

[Madhatter_67_85]

THE SECOND
SC: <Wins $10 off textbooks> Sweet! Now, what else can you give me?

Um. A swift kick in the ass or a beat down with a text book. You pick

[AdminAssistant]

it was common to buy textbooks second-hand (still very pricy) - but then to take extremely good care of them, so that you could sell them for the same price when you'd finished with them..

You can still sell back textbooks, but you're DAMN lucky to get 50% of what you paid for it, if you sell it back to the bookstore. I'm sure it would be possible to get more via e-bay or other places, but that's just too much trouble.

Of course, I'm at the point in my academic career that I keep all of my books.

[depechemodefan]

She comes to my register. Hands me a business card. She wrote "I ned change for bus far." on it.

hee, the woman misspelled "need" and "fare". Though was she asking you to make change (like break a bill) or asking for money?

OH, that last story was gold. Esp. with the woman smiling like she got one over you, hee.