"I don't speak english!" aka treating the poor bus driver like an idiot

[Kagato]

Ok, this is a VERY lengthy post cut pretty much verbatim from my blog, but here goes. Hope you have the patience to read it.

Ok, first thing's first, I like asian people as much as the next person, heck, I want to travel to Japan sometime in the not too distant future, preferably within the next year or so, but there is SOME people here in NZ that just simply GRATE at my nerves, ESPECIALLY on the job.

Example 1: Using the "I no speak english" remark as an ALL-PURPOSE LYING MECHANISM.
(All of the conversation from the girl I was dealing with was in semi-broken english)
Asian Girl #1: 1 stage (Kaga-note: basically 1 bus zone) please *puts down incorrect fare, she is 30c short*
Me: I'm sorry, you are 30 cents short, the prices went up a few weeks back
AG#1: I no understand, I no speak english
Me: *attempts to find someone that can explain to her in her own language, then attempts once again to tell her myself*
AG#1: *still seems not to understand*
Bus Passenger: *comes to the front and coughs up the girls shortage so we can get on our way*
*AG#1 and Asian Girl #2 sit a few rows back from me (incidentally within earshot), and start to hold a PERFECTLY understandable conversation in...wait for it... PERFECT ENGLISH!*
Me: *thinks* You little liar... I'm going to remember you...

*next day*

*same 2 girls hop on, only difference is I have a FULL bus today, much to my personal advantage >_>*
AG#1: *puts down same fare as yesterday* 1 stage please
Me: I told you yesterday, you are 30 cents short.
AG#1: I no understand, I no speak english
Me: *gives dagger-like glare and goes for the grand effect, raising my voice slightly* Listen. You sat within earshot of me yesterday, I HEARD you and your friend talking in PERFECT english, so do NOT try to give me that excuse. Pay up, or off my bus.
AG#1: *goes bright red as she KNOWS she has been caught out, virtually throws down the money and stomps off to an empty seat*
*a few random passengers clap for my upholding the rules and catching her out*

I am as tolerant as the next person, yes, but I will NOT tolerate abuse of the language barrier to twist situations to your own advantage. (Here in NZ bus drivers have a VERY strict cash-float, ANY shortages come out of our own pocket, so if a passenger gives us a foreign coin in place of a $1 coin, and this is a VERY common occurance, WE have to cough up the difference.)

Example #2 (not really a language barrier issue this time, just treating me like I'm an idiot :P)

*Male boards my bus, looks to be 19-20ish*
AM: 1 stage student please
Me: Could I please see your student ID?
AM: *pulls out a TWO YEAR OLD student ID, which shows for that year he was 17 years old, making him 19 at the time of him being on the bus*
Me: I'm sorry, that card is not valid, it is from 2 years ago, and it shows you as being 19 years old, I have to see this years ID or I will have to charge you adult fare
(At this point let me add that NZ has fairly strict fare rules, to qualify unconditionally for a child fare, you must be under 15 years of age, or be between 15-18 years of age AND IN SCHOOL UNIFORM, or carrying a valid School Identification card. If you are 15-18 and do not meet one of those 2 criteria you are charged adult fare. 19 Years or older is generally adult fare regardless unless they are doing Form 8/Year 14)
AM: *makes like he is rummaging through his wallet, at one point I see an ID card for the local university, and I know straight away he is trying to trick me*
Me: *points to the ID card* please pull that card out sir.
AM: *semi-sheepishly pulls out said card*
Me: That is an ID card for the local university. Full Fare please.
AM: *goes slightly red and pays up*

Moral of the above example: Do not try to fool a bus driver. 9 times out of 10 we will find you out. :P

[Boozy]

I'm heading this one off at the pass: Please do not respond with any sweeping generalizations about non-English speakers.

The OP is fine because it involves a specific instance. Comment on this tale, or add your own related stories, but keep it about the sucky customers please.

[von Adler]

Reminds me of when I was riding the bus home when working at the Internet support in my old home town, a small place up north in my country.

This town has a yearly festival that livens up the town - the number of visitors are about the same amount as the total population of the town, so there's quite a few people visiting that week.

The bus stops and two very young kids get on, the kind I usually brand as fashion-whores, slaves to any trend and fashion, in expensive clothes, well-fixed hairdos (I would have bet they wore some kind of makeup too, but it could just be me) etc. They look like they are 16, maybe 17. One carries a box of beer, 20x33cl 5,5% bottles, the other carries a "platter", 20x50cl 7,2% cans, both have a 75cl bottle of vodka rolling on top of their respective load.

The kids say "Half fare, please." FYI, age limit going to a bar or pub is 18, buying alcohol at the alcohol monopoly stores is 20. Half fare is up to your 18th birthday.

The busdriver takes a long look at them, then smiles a bit and say: "Not when you are carrying that."

The half of the bus that hears it bursts out laughing, the kids quickly pay full fare and skitters away deep into the bus, their face colour now being dark red.

I loved that bus driver.

[HawaiianShirts]

Ah, the bus. It saves me gas money, gives me extra reading time, and it is one of the best places to collect Sightings stories. Kagato I almost (almost) envy your job. I could never do it, though. I have a hard enough time driving my father-in-law's 15-passenger van through nearly empty suburban streets; forget a gigantic bus in any kind of traffic!

I can add a story to the language barrier mix, though. This was a few months ago.

Hispanic Customer: (in lightly accented English; if this guy wasn't American-born, he must have immigrated young or had some good language instruction) Excuse me, I would like to buy this computer package.
Me: We've got two packages on that one this week. You want the one with the 17-inch monitor or the 19?
HC: The 19.
Me: Can do. Before I put it together, though, let me just give you some information about it. Just stuff you need to know.
HC: Okay.
Me: <Explains included warranty and options for extended warranties.>
HC: Uh... (now heavily accented) I no speak English much.
Me: ... Right. So no extra warranty for you?
HC:
Me: Okay. <Explains included software and optional extra software such as MS Office or a better anti-virus.>
HC: No English. Sorry.
Me: So what comes with the computer is enough for you?
HC:
Me: Right. <Explains included cables versus not-included cables, lack of recovery disks, and the need for a surge protector.>
HC: I no English.
Me: Sir, if you don't want to buy anything else, you don't have to. I just want to make sure you understand what does and does not come with the computer so that if you get home and you don't have what you need, it's not going to be my fault.
HC: ... (back to original accent) Oh. No, I just want the computer package. That's all.
Me: Fair enough. I'll be right back.

Not a big deal on that one. I think he just thought I was going to be a pushy salesman and get him to buy extra stuff he didn't want, and that was the best way he knew to avoid that kind of battle-of-wills. At least he wasn't trying to cheat me out of something like the passenger in the OP.

(Once again, my stories go long. Sorry.)

[Golden Phoenix]

I adore public transport.

I'm one of those kinds ofpeople who just loves to people-watch, and there are some intriguing people on the bus or train. Me for a start...

With piercings, tattoos and bright purple hair i certainly get some stares. Combine that with the fact that i'm usually carrying copies of my court notes for various murder/rape/burglary/wahtever cases, complete with a front cover stating what it's about and i get some wierd looks and some very fun conversations.

You can practically hear every passenger going "Oh! That's why she has those..." if i end up explaining myself. I think i scare some people, heh.

I have to confess thouhg i've done the no-speak-english bit before....but i was walking down the street with a friend and some panhandler came up to me, rambled bait about how he'd found god and the wonders of christian charity, then tried to get me to give him some money....(Damn my frined who was giggling at me behind her hand) so i looked confused rambled off that i dind't understand him in Welsh then wandered off having an animated Welsh conversation with my friend.

Not really very nice of me i'll be the first to admit....but the guy creeped me out.

[portia911]

God the sights I used to see on the 417 bus in London. It was like the twilight zone

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

The cleaning people at my store are the same way. You'll ask them to do something they're supposed to do anyway, like throw their garbage into the compactor you've just unloacked for them, or dust mop the floors before scrubbing them, or scrub the floors before burnishing them, and they'll start gibbering and making with the whole "No Speak English" garbage.

And then, they'll show they really are capable of understanding English. Like for example, one morning one of the cleaning guys paged over the PA "Is it okay to open the door?" in perfect English.

[Dilorenzo]

Someone tried that sort of thing on me once, when I started asking for ID for an over 18 movie someone who very much looked under 18 was trying to rent. He started with "No parlo ... English..."

Maybe he didn't, but it didn't help that I could then say, "Ah, ma parli Italiano! Quanti ani hai?" (Ah, you speak Italian! How old are you... badly spelled and probably gramatically incorrect, I learned to speak for 3 months a year for 15 years spending time near Rome, never learned to spell much).

[depechemodefan]

Someone tried that sort of thing on me once, when I started asking for ID for an over 18 movie someone who very much looked under 18 was trying to rent. He started with "No parlo ... English..."

Maybe he didn't, but it didn't help that I could then say, "Ah, ma parli Italiano! Quanti ani hai?" (Ah, you speak Italian! How old are you... badly spelled and probably gramatically incorrect, I learned to speak for 3 months a year for 15 years spending time near Rome, never learned to spell much).

So what did he say?

The bus I take is a direct bus. It leaves downtown and gets to the P&R, no stops. It's more expensive then the local buses, that leave downtown and stops every 2 streets, and the direct is much faster. So, ie, poor people don't use that bus.
It's not a language barrier, but this crazy man gets on the bus, and somehow finagles not paying. Even if he did pay, he shouldn't been allowed on the bus since he REEKED During the ride he keeps on getting up and walking around. One time he tried to sit next to a guy that might be Indian or Pakistani, and the guy moved his bag to block the empty seat, to keep him away. Finally, another guy got up and told him to sit (in a specific seat) and stop walking around, he was making people nervous.
OH, and he muttered a lot. ONe point he sat in front of me and oh gag!

[Dilorenzo]

So what did he say?

Actually, he said, "No, I don't speak Italian, I'm from Bulgaria" in Italian and walked out. Had me scratching my head for some time after that...

[depechemodefan]

Actually, he said, "No, I don't speak Italian, I'm from Bulgaria" in Italian and walked out. Had me scratching my head for some time after that...

Yeah, that was weird.

Oh, that reminds me. Me and mom went to Venice and walked into a McDs (mostly because other people in our same tour had bad experiences with restaurants they went into) and we started to talk in English, so the girl behind the counter went to get the manager, who spoke English. My mom, though, has a habit of starting to speak her native language, Spanish (a lot of times I have to stop my mom and point out what language she's speaking in), so she started to tak in Spanish and the Italian guy said (in Spanish) I don't speak Spanish. So mom gets back in English. Though I can see how people working in a tourist town would learn to say some simple phrases in diff. languages, esp. "I don's speak..." Though he said it in a really snotty tone.

[bloodrose]

Everybody's stories in response to the OP reminds me of a funny/terrible story about my dad. My dad could be a bit of a d*&k sometimes. He worked outdoors a lot and we tend to tan well if we go outdoors (I avoid the evil day star). He also had some serious thick black hair. I should also mention he had been a spy photographer during the vietnam war and had spent a bunch of his enlisted time in Germany for some reason (training, maybe?).

Well, he was a tow truck driver in an area with many mexican migrant farm workers. A lot of these workers didn't speak english and quite a few of them didn't have driver's lisences. So, the highway patrol would pull them over and then impound their car for driving without a lisence or registration.

My dad looked pretty Mexican. So when he showed up to tow the car, the poor guys getting their car towed would go up to him to appeal their case. They would make their case in spanish. My father would nod and feign interest until there was a pause in their speaking. Then he would answer them in German. And watch as their faces fell.

Told ya he could be a bit of a d*%k.

[powerboy]

I would love to take the bus to and from work. but none leaves around the time. And plus if it did, I would still be late. I will have to check into it now.

[Eric the Grey]

I would love to take the bus to and from work. but none leaves around the time. And plus if it did, I would still be late. I will have to check into it now.

I would take the bus to and from work if it didn't add between 1.5 and 2 hours to my already 12.5 hour day....

Screw that. I'll drive.



Eric the Grey

[mattm04]

At my school, the local transit authority has a deal where when the bus stops by any of the stops on campus it is free. Say you park in the off campus lot and the bus comes thru, you can ride to the campus for free. If you want to ride that line farther you have to pay a student fare. I normally avoid the bus, due to the length of the ride to get to the most common places, it is usually quicker to drive.

last winter we had really bad cold spell for about 4 days. I forgot to start my car, 4 days of 15-20 for highs and -5 for lows did not help the battery keep a charge. I rode the bus to the supermarket to get some food and when I barded i showed school ID and paid student fare. On the return trip I show student ID and pay fare. Crazy front passenger sees me had over less money than she pays and starts yelling at the drive in English how he stole her money. The driver tries to respond but all of a sudden she claims she does't speak English. eventually she calmed down and we were able to get on our way.