I'll Have Your Job Part Deux (and others)

[AdminAssistant]

So I just went to google this cause I was really curious and as I typed lambskin why did lambskin condoms come up first as the suggested search?

Because the Internet is For Porn.

[Imogene]

Because the Internet is For Porn.

"Sharky!"
"Sorry, Kate Monster!"

[Bramblerose]

Sheepskin....



*for the record, I have never used them and have always wondered why sheepskin condoms are around in the first place.*

NO reports back on polyurethane, but if you aren't worried about germs, the sheepskin feels far nicer than latex.

[RetailWorkhorse]

(cue Tim Allen "ahrugg?" from me)

*Snickers*

. . . I make an account, post next to nothing for months, and THIS is when I choose to post? I need to get out more o_O

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! *Chokes, gags, wheezes, keeps laughing*

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything.

[Salesmonkey]

They are around for people who are allergic to latex.

There are also nitrile condoms available (like the latex-free gloves). Although they only come in blue.

[depechemodefan]

Plan on Sharing?

Me: <spiel?
SC: I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza with extra meat and a Coke.
Me: Ooh, can I have some? I've worked five hours straight and I'm starving. (I'm teasing the guy, hoping he gets the point that he's dialed a wrong number. Not the case.)
SC: Just steal some from the back room.
Me: I can't.
SC: Why not? I do it all the time.
Me: There's no food here.
SC: What kinda pizza place has no food?
Me: This isn't a pizza place, sir. I'd be happy to make a chemical stew, seeing as this is Namco, but pizza's pushing it.
SC: <long pause>.......So can I have a pizza?
Me: <faceregister>

Oh, man, that guy was not paying attention. Though I do enjoy the part where he imparts his wisdom about pilfering from the place you work.

Later I'm ringing out an order when two women come to my lane with the broom and ask me to price check it for them. I tell them it's not for sale, that's our own supply. They insist if it's on the floor, it must be for sale. So I leave my register and stand where the broom once was.

"Am I on the floor?"
"Well, yeah."
"Then I must be for sale."
"No you're not. You work here."
<pointing at broom> "So does that."

They left it behind.

You should have charge $50 for it. If being right is important to them, then they would have paid it and you could bought a new broom and lunch at the Olive Garden for you and your co-workers.

Do You Has...?

Top 10 things I get asked if we carry:

1. Beach supplies
2. Gas grills
3. Motor boat supplies
4. Fishing tackle/rods/schtuff
5. Coolers
6. Waterproof condoms (ya. ew.)
7. Swimwear (other than life jackets)
8. Wooden gazebos
9. Christmas stuff
10. Shampoo

I take you sell most of that stuff, just not the condoms and Christmas stuff.

Well, Duh.

Me: <spiel>
SC: Yeah, I was wondering if someone could help me with my pool?
Me: I could give it a whirl.
SC: Wonderful. My pool's filthy and I don't know what to do.
Me: Ok, when's the last time you vaccuumed it?
SC: ...............
Me: .......
SC: My Dirt Devil won't work in there.....
Me: (Oh boy, here we go....) You don't use that kind of vaccuum, ma'am. There's a special kind of vaccuum for that.
SC: Ooh, a waterproof Dirt Devil?
Me: Uh, yeah....if ya wanna call it that....

Wow. I guess suggesting that she also buy "Pool maintenance for Dummies"

[MystyGlyttyr]

SC: Yeah, I was wondering if someone could help me with my pool?
Me: I could give it a whirl.

Hee hee hee. Pun.

[LiberryWorker]

There are also nitrile condoms available (like the latex-free gloves). Although they only come in blue.

"Who's your daddy?"

. . . Papa Smurf?

Honest to gods, I'll post something serious someday. Soon. Maybe

[Nashida]

Hee hee hee. Pun.

*goes and reads again*

I totally didn't plan that one.

[Bagga]

.... only come in blue.

So if you don't use blue ones, you dont ... O nevermind, I understand now.

[PepperElf]

hmm. we had blue nitrile gloves at work - for using greases that would degrade latex, but they came in both black and blue.

... no pun intended...

[fireheart]

"Who's your daddy?"

. . . Papa Smurf?

Honest to gods, I'll post something serious someday. Soon. Maybe

You know that this has gone off topic when condoms come into play :P
But the Papa Smurf comment...

[mattm04]

Well, Duh.

Me: <spiel>
SC: Yeah, I was wondering if someone could help me with my pool?
Me: I could give it a whirl.
SC: Wonderful. My pool's filthy and I don't know what to do.
Me: Ok, when's the last time you vaccuumed it?
SC: ...............
Me: .......
SC: My Dirt Devil won't work in there.....
Me: (Oh boy, here we go....) You don't use that kind of vaccuum, ma'am. There's a special kind of vaccuum for that.
SC: Ooh, a waterproof Dirt Devil?
Me: Uh, yeah....if ya wanna call it that....

it will work shockingly well.

[Antisocial_Worker]

on topic, i wait for the day when someone accuses me with sleeping with the boss, just so i can say "sorry sir, i am not a lesbian"

I had a friend who ran an auto parts store with her husband. Everyone but the newbiest of newbies knew they were married, and when one of those new newbies asked her why she got such a sweet schedule and got to take long lunches whenever she wanted, she set him straight.

"I sleep with the boss," she said and breezed out the door.

[Gawdzillers]

*broom story*

I love you. Run away with me.