Sunday suckies

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I rarely work Sundays anymore, but when I do, I am constantly reminded of why I hate working that day: all the people streaming in fresh out of church with the attitude of "Thank God that church thing is over for another week! Now I can go back to being an asshole!"

We Can Has Maintenance

See here for backstory.

Maintenance guy whose pay is 40 days overdue returned to work today, along with some other guy, who told us the maintenance guy had been fired. And yet he was working in the store today.

Not that I am complaining. Far from it. I'm told somebody left a big, brown stink pickle on the rim of one of the toilets, so at least I didn't get stuck cleaning that up.

Hi! I'm an asshole!

Waited on this older couple today:

Wife: Do you work here, young man?
Me: (the company-issued polo shirt and nametag didn't give it away?) Yes. What can I help you with?
Wife: Do you have replacement cords for a coffeemaker?
Me: (not understanding at first) You want an extension cord? Because I don't believe we carry just the replacement cords.
Husband: (harrumph!) No, idiot, a replacement cord. For a. Coffee. Maker.
Me: Again I don't believe we have those, but I can take you over to the coffeemakers and check.

We toddle our asses over to the coffeemaker aisle, where we discover many coffee making appliances, coffee filters, and yes! even replacement carafes and decanters, but alas, no replacement cords.

Husband: We're going to Fleet Farm! I guess if you want a replacement cord here, you have to buy the whole coffee maker. That's how they rip you off here!

Wow, really dipshit? Break a hip you crotchety old fart.

Hi! I'm unbelievably stoopid! And also an asshole

Somebody really needs to invent a button for our phones you can push to slap, punch, or stab the person on the other end. It would come in handy for callers such as this one I got saddled with today:

Me: Hello, furniture, how can I help you today? (Abuse me. I like it. Do your worst.)
Caller: Yeah, I bought a storage cabinet from youse a few days ago, it was $129.99, and now I want another one. Is that sale still one.
Me: I can go check for you. Please hold.

I mosey on over to the storage cabinets, where I find the $129.99 sale price has ceased to be. Instead, there is a Buy One Get One Free sale on all storage cabinets. However, you must buy 2 cabinets to get this deal; if you buy only one it will be regular price. This seems fairly peculiar to me since most everybody who buys our storage cabinets needs only one and buys only one, but whatever.

Me: The $129.99 sale price has expired. The storage cabinets are Buy One Get One Free from now until Thursday; however if you buy just one, it would be at the regular price of $229.99
Caller: I just need one!
Me: It would be $229.99 then. You have to buy two to get the buy one get one free.
Caller: But I only need one, and $230 is too expensive!
Me: I apologize, but that is the current deal going on.
Caller: I only want one. Not two!

Repeat until my brain obtains a Sawzall and tries to fashion an escape hatch in the middle of my forehead. Fortunately this particular dry-pool diving team member got off the phone before the attempt was completely successful, but not before informing me how unhelpful I had been.

Hi! I'm another asshole!

Helped a co-worker load up and carry out a futon bunk bed frame and two mattresses for a customer.

Customer: (to my coworker, who happens to be about 5 feet tall, if that, and 100 pounds or so). Did you lift that all by yourself?
Co-worker: Ummm...no....?
Customer: Are you having a bad day, or do you just suck at customer service?

Aaand we're done. I loaded her crap into her gas-guzzling diesel Dodge Ram, being careful to be a tad more forceful than usual. Thanks for making my co-worker feel like a feeb and a rudie-poo. I hope that bunk bed frame falls on you while you're trying to assemble it.

Hi! I snoozed so I lose! And I am also an asshole.

Being as this is the final weekend before the local public schools start classes again, we are getting a tidal wave of last-minute panic shoppers such as this one:

Customer: (rooting through the 25 cent folders and scattering them on the ground) Where are the purple folders here? I can't find one and my kid needs it!
Me: That's all of those folders we have right there. If you can't find one there, we won't have it.
Customer: (whipping an entire display box of the folders off the shelf onto the ground) This is bullshit! Next year order more!

Yeah, I'll get right on that...not. I hope your kid gets sent back at least 2 grades because he doesn't have a purple folder for English. In fact, I hope he has to return to school with a Hannah Montana folder or a High School Musical folder or some other girly folder. I bet next year you do your shopping a bit earlier so Junior doesn't have to learn any more important life lessons about ostracism and procrastination.

One more day to go and I get a day off. In honor of Labor Day, I get to labor 5 am-1:30 for the fifth day in a row. Whee.

[depechemodefan]

I mosey on over to the storage cabinets, where I find the $129.99 sale price has ceased to be. Instead, there is a Buy One Get One Free sale on all storage cabinets. However, you must buy 2 cabinets to get this deal; if you buy only one it will be regular price. This seems fairly peculiar to me since most everybody who buys our storage cabinets needs only one and buys only one, but whatever.

You know, that is why I hate giving more info. then what the customer asks for. Either their feeble little minds can't handle the extra info., or they get angry because "I didn't ask for that!"

[SuperB]

I rarely work Sundays anymore, but when I do, I am constantly reminded of why I hate working that day: all the people streaming in fresh out of church with the attitude of "Thank God that church thing is over for another week! Now I can go back to being an asshole!"

I see Sundays as sucky because all the decent people are in church and I'm stuck dealing with the idiots.

[Dave1982]

You know, that is why I hate giving more info. then what the customer asks for. Either their feeble little minds can't handle the extra info., or they get angry because "I didn't ask for that!"

Interesting. In my experience it's usually the opposite. For instance, if someone calls and asks if an item is in stock, they almost invariably then ask for the price. So I usually will also get the price for them even if they didn't initially ask for it so as to avoid having ot make a second trip to the aisles on the same call.

Of course, there are times where I do minimize what I tell someone just to get them the hell off my phone, because I hate being tied up on the phone by someone who's too lazy to either 1) get up off their butt and come in to see the product themselves or 2) get up off their butt and over to the computer to look it up online.

[Stormraven]

Boy am I out of the loop - when I was in school, if there was any colour-coding of folders it was us doing it. Nowadays, schools are pre-determining the appropriate colour for each class?

[Chromatix]

It seems to be so that the *teacher* knows the student has the right book out.

But even that seems like micro-management to me. Then again, I'm not a teacher.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Oh it was probably because Little Bobby saw Little Jimmy with a cool purple folder and so Little Bobby went whining to his parents because he just HAD TO HAVE a cool purple folder of his own.

[Arm]

The worst part about the guy calling about the storage cabinet is that unless this is something that you bolt onto part of your house...

...he could've said, "Buy one get one free?! Shit yeah! I'll be over there as soon as I can get this into my car. Save another thirty bucks? Thank you, mister salesman!"

Solution!

Return old cabinet (for 130).

Buy 2 new cabinets for 230!

2 for 230 is LESS THAN 2 for 130 each!

[Geek King]

Oh it was probably because Little Bobby saw Little Jimmy with a cool purple folder and so Little Bobby went whining to his parents because he just HAD TO HAVE a cool purple folder of his own.

No, seriously, some schools seem to think that telling kids what color school supplies to buy for each class somehow improves the learning experience. Apparently my generation were all geniuses for getting through school without color-coordinated folders.

Now get off my lawn!

[Imogene]

No, seriously, some schools seem to think that telling kids what color school supplies to buy for each class somehow improves the learning experience. Apparently my generation were all geniuses for getting through school without color-coordinated folders.

Now get off my lawn!

Plus, we got those durned Trapper Keepers with the psychedelic cardboard inserts! No one else could possibly know what subject we were working on. No one!

[wagegoth]

My kids come home with lists from their teachers with specific items, such as a red folder for homework, or a purple folder for a certain report, etc.

I guess it makes it easier for the teacher to sort through things, but I get tired of the expensive last minute trips (figuring in gas and my very valuable time) to get a specific color folder.

[Apallo]

...Lists from their teachers with specific items, such as a red folder for homework, or a purple folder for a certain report, etc...

I am soooo gonna fight with the teachers about this one when my son starts school. It shouldn't matter what color the damn folder is, it is the contents of the folder that matters. I'm not sure why this raises my ire so much, i guess i am a bit rebellious.

[karma_gypsy]

So ... what if little Johnny didn't have a purple folder for class? Would the teacher throw him out on his ass, demanding that he cannot come back to school until he has the purple folder?


If it was really that bad and NO ONE in town had this precious purple folder (jeez, it's like the One Ring isn't it? Right now, there is probably a group of little people traveling across the harsh terrain of the city, dodging traffic, pedestrians and whatnot, trying to destroy the evil purple folder in the firey depths of the Elementary School's old radiator heater), if she was smart and truly desperate. Could she just invest in some purple PAINT?? or contact paper? Wall paper? crayons? markers? Heck, even an eggplant is purple, she could grind that into the folder . ....

[Quillsilver]

I see Sundays as sucky because all the decent people are in church and I'm stuck dealing with the idiots.

Where I work, the real winners (ie, jerks) don't show up until after noon on Sundays...in church clothes. I have to go with Irving's interpretation, at least in my own experience.

[Megg]

I am soooo gonna fight with the teachers about this one when my son starts school. It shouldn't matter what color the damn folder is, it is the contents of the folder that matters. I'm not sure why this raises my ire so much, i guess i am a bit rebellious.

Our oldest ones are going through the whole need a specific color folder crap currently. The teachers say it is to keep the kids more organized. When my daughter starts school next year, I will tell those losers just where to stick that purple folder. She will be organized, or she will be grounded. It is absolutely amazing how organized a kid can get if they can't get on the computer because they forgot their homework or failed a test. Of course, with Emily being only 4, it won't work as well now as it will in a couple of years, but she doesn't really need to be organized at 4.

How about we let parents ... parent? Oh, wait, that only works if the parents will do so.