There is no "corporate" okay?

[Argabarga]

See, we are a single shop operation. That means that we have just this one location, just this one garage in just this town, when you walk in the front doors, you are more or less inside the company in it's entirety. There are no other locations. There is no home office, there is no district office, and the manager you just talked to? The one who refused to reimburse you for the impound of your illegaly parked car? That's as HIGH as you can go in this company, there is nobody else to elevate this complaint to. The only concieveable way to continue at this point is to take us to court. Seriously, that's it.

No, I am not lying, there really is no one else, there is no district manager. No, I am not lying, no I am not trying to rip you off. Fine, you can call the Better Buisiness Bureau if you want to, but they won't be able to get in touch with our district manager either, because HE DOESN'T EXIST!

Sheesh.....

[NateTheChops]

Oh, the day when I finally run my own store. I can't wait.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I feel your pain. Conversation went something on these lines.

SC - I don't think you're working fast enough on my computer (mind you that the install procedure on Windows takes several hours and he only dropped his computer off 30 minutes previously), I want to speak to your boss.

Me - My boss is on vacation all week. I can leave him a message if you like

SC - Then I want to talk to his Boss.

Me - His boss went on vacation with him. Would you like me to send her an email? (his boss being his wife)

SC - Then I want the District Manager!

Me - This is a one shop, independently owned by my boss

SC - I want the Corporate Office then!

Me - There is no corporate office, there is only my boss the owner of this shop.

SC - BULLSHIT! YOU SAID HE HAS A BOSS!!!

Me - Yes, he frequently refers to his wife as his boss. Partially as a joke and mostly since she's half-owner of the shop.

SC - I want to speak to someone higher than your boss NOW GOD DAMMIT!!!

Me - There is no one higher than my boss. He and his wife own this one shop and they are on vacation.

SC - What boss would leave you in charge of a store while he's away?

Me - A boss who has his brother the operations manager still here handling the paperwork while me the sales and service manager runs the shop itself.

SC - Then I want to talk to him

Me - Certainly, but he's not higher than the owner and is no higher than I am.

The funny thing is that his brother, the OM is barely able to speak English, is literally there to do paperwork and defers everything to his older brother or to me.

In the end the customer ran himself out of steam and left and I finished his computer by the end of the day like I promised him when he brought the computer in for a wipe and reload.

Sometimes there is just no higher than one can go...unless you appeal to God and even then he's not too keen on dealing with business transactions.

M

[Skarredmind]

You know... maybe you guys should keep directions to the nearest church/synagogue/mosque/scientology office on hand

"I wanna talk to your corporate office!"
"We're an independent business, we don't have a corporate office!"
"Well then I want to talk to your boss's boss."
"Well... I think he's a protestant... so get on your knees........"

[Knifeman]

You know... maybe you guys should keep directions to the nearest church/synagogue/mosque/scientology office on hand

HAIL XENU!

[smileyeagle1021]

"Well... I think he's a protestant... so get on your knees........"

my brain just went into the gutter

who will be joining me?

[karath]

Took a couple seconds for that to click, Smiley, but I have to say its very nice and cozy down here

[Music Mo-Gal]

my brain just went into the gutter

who will be joining me?

I was down there already. In fact, I read this thread yesterday, but it took me until now to notice the CLEAN meaning of it!

[Ree]

Still trying to see the relevance of the church/religion/scientology references.

Keep it on topic and leave those things to fratching.

[otakuneko]

Still trying to see the relevance of the church/religion/scientology references.

Keep it on topic and leave those things to fratching.

Well, deities generally being above us mere mortals, and the SC demanding someone "above the boss" and all..

Spaghetti anyone?

I was down there already. In fact, I read this thread yesterday, but it took me until now to notice the CLEAN meaning of it!

You have a house down there or something?

[zigcat]

Nope. No corporate here either. Just a one store, one owner pizza shop.

Naturally I get a kick out of people DEMANDING the number for corporate headquarters. In a way it's kind of complimentary that someone would think we're so big that we have a head office somewhere "out there." And, of course, people think I'm lying when I tell them there is no number for corporate:

SC: I want the number for your corporate offices, NOW.
ME: Sorry, this is a mom and pop store. The only number is THIS number. If you want to call back and talk to the owner, he'll be in around 4 tomorrow.
SC: Don't give me that shit! You're just afraid of giving me the number, 'fraid you'll get fired.
ME: Sorry can't give you what I don't have.
SC: Let me talk to someone above you!

(By now I've had it with this bitch)

ME: You mean God?
SC: You know, you're a real smart ass!
ME: It takes a little provoking and a lot of empty threats.
SC: Yeah, you'll THINK empty threats. I'll FIND your corporate number! You'll regret ever mistreating me.
ME: Look, I got orders I gotta get to. So unless there's anything else...
SC: (CLICK)

[Pezzle]

Still trying to see the relevance of the church/religion/scientology references.

Yeah just to note, Scientology actually has no diety to worship, so the joke kind of falls short to those educated on the matter. Xenu is a mortal enemy and nemesis after OTIII in Scientology, as such no Scientologist would answer to him as a higher boss. I won't say too much; they like googling themselves.

-Puts on Guy Fawkes mask and gets out of Dodge-

Damnit why do I ruin jokes?

[Aethian]

Cause you need to keep us in line?

[Skarredmind]

Its funny because the responses to my post are funnier than my post lol.

Yeah my mind was there, and I said... "Heck, post it anyway"

Thanks to those who clarified for those who didn't get it lol... yes, I did mean that the church and various deities are typically as higher in the food chain than your local manager, or corporate customer service line.

Also regarding Xenu, I didn't mention him by name, nor any of the judeo-christian deities (or allah or vishnu either for that matter). While Xenu may not be considered a god, the church definitely plays a VERY important part in many scientologists lives, so if you wanted to talk to someone higher than the owner of your mom and pop shop, their church/god might be the place to go.

Of course, now this whole thing is just kinda lame... so I am done.


HAIL XENU!

[NateTheChops]

Nope. No corporate here either. Just a one store, one owner pizza shop.

Naturally I get a kick out of people DEMANDING the number for corporate headquarters. In a way it's kind of complimentary that someone would think we're so big that we have a head office somewhere "out there." And, of course, people think I'm lying when I tell them there is no number for corporate:

SC: I want the number for your corporate offices, NOW.
ME: Sorry, this is a mom and pop store. The only number is THIS number. If you want to call back and talk to the owner, he'll be in around 4 tomorrow.
SC: Don't give me that shit! You're just afraid of giving me the number, 'fraid you'll get fired.
ME: Sorry can't give you what I don't have.
SC: Let me talk to someone above you!

(By now I've had it with this bitch)

ME: You mean God?
SC: You know, you're a real smart ass!
ME: It takes a little provoking and a lot of empty threats.
SC: Yeah, you'll THINK empty threats. I'll FIND your corporate number! You'll regret ever mistreating me.
ME: Look, I got orders I gotta get to. So unless there's anything else...
SC: (CLICK)

You know, with all of these major chains handing out "customer survey" numbers on the receipts, I would get ahold of the numbers of all your competitors and start handing those out.