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i have never been pranked phone called. ever. i don't know how i got away with never getting at least one. today....i received my first. and oh boy......yeah.....just read on.....
Me: well.... me, i guess.
PC-prank caller.
just a tiny bit of info. the caller had a raspy voice, and i couldn't tell if it was her real voice, or disguising her voice. i also had to have her repeat alot cause i couldn't understand her.
i got a page for a cosmetics call. i pick up the phone, and get this....
PC-do you sell lipstick?
Me- yes we do.
PC- what kind?
Me- lots of kinds. is there a particular one your looking for?
PC- yeah. do you have....im looking for,um, do you have cover girl?
Me- yes we do.
PC- ok, im looking for flavored lipstick. do you have caramel flavored?
Me- no, we don't. we have a chocolate flavored lipgloss though.
PC- oooh! that sounds nice! do you have caramel flavored?
Me- no.....we don't. we only have chocolate.
at this point, im wondering if she just didn't understand what i was saying. i didn't tihnk it was a prank yet.
PC- ok. do you have cherry? what about cherry?
Me- no. just chocolate.
Pc- are you a lesbian?
Me-
no.
PC- would you kiss me?
Me- no!
PC- sorry. i got a little off track here. im sorry. do you have caramel?
Me-no....
PC- you see, im a BIG woman. a Big woman. i need my lips to be...(at this point, i couldn't understand what she said.)
Me- im sorry, i didnt hear that.
now im starting to think PRANK!
PC- you don't understand. im a BIG woman. i want my lips volumptous! im a big woman you see! do you have carmel flavored? how about skin flavored?
Me- no. we only have chocolate. nothing else.
at this point, i should have just ended the phone call.
PC- ok. do you have condoms?
Me- yes we do.
PC-what sizes?
Me- they are assorted.
PC- but what sizes are they?
Me- we have extra large and and regular...
PC- do you have extra thin?
Me- yes.
Pc- do you have flavored?
Me- yes.
PC- what flavors? do you have caramel? cherry? boob flavors? what flavors? (yes, she said boob flavors)
Me- they are assorted....
PC- what flavors?
at this point, i decided to kinda play along, to a certain extent.
Me- i think we have cherry, and a few others. we also have flavored lubricant.
Pc -REALLY? awesome! do you have dildos?
Me-, no, that is something you need to get at a certain type of store.
PC- do you have a dildo? do you use dildos?
this one kinda struck me as a little too far
Me- if you do you not stop with the unappropriate questions, im going to have to terminate the call now.
PC- im sorry. im sorry. i won't do that again. im going to come in and get chocolate flavored lipgloss. and condoms. and lubricant. how much is that?
Me- im not sure. i have to ring them in to see how much it all comes to with tax. im not allowed to do that until the products are actually being purchased.
PC- well, you see. i need to know. im not wealthy.
Me- ok....the lipgloss is $5.99 plus tax, so i tihnk that will be about $6.30....the condoms have different prices, and i don't know which ones you want.
PC- i need to know. you see, im not wealthy. i live in a box! i stole this phone,and only have a few minutes before it runs out! i have my uncles credit card and want to buy this stuff!
Me- well, it shouldn't come to anymore than $30.
PC- well i need to know!
at this point, im getting very fed up with it. so im trying to get off the phone without hanging up on her, cause i hate doing that.
Me-ma'am, is there anything else i can help you with? i have customers in the store i have to attend to.
Pc- i have one more question! what kind of candy do you have?
Me- alot. we have a whole aisle for it.
PC- can you read me all the names?
Me, deciding to pass her off to somebody else- no, but im sure CVS* could!
PC- really? can you transfer me to CVS?
Me, in a VERY cherry voice,-Sure! just hold on one moment please!
and i hung up......
there were many points where i should have just hung up. but i was waiting for that one moment where she gives me the perfect escape.
yes, this is true. i didn't exaggerate. it was a long freaking phone call.....
*in case you don't know, i work for one of CVS's biggest competitors
Me: well.... me, i guess.
PC-prank caller.
just a tiny bit of info. the caller had a raspy voice, and i couldn't tell if it was her real voice, or disguising her voice. i also had to have her repeat alot cause i couldn't understand her.
i got a page for a cosmetics call. i pick up the phone, and get this....
PC-do you sell lipstick?
Me- yes we do.
PC- what kind?
Me- lots of kinds. is there a particular one your looking for?
PC- yeah. do you have....im looking for,um, do you have cover girl?
Me- yes we do.
PC- ok, im looking for flavored lipstick. do you have caramel flavored?
Me- no, we don't. we have a chocolate flavored lipgloss though.
PC- oooh! that sounds nice! do you have caramel flavored?
Me- no.....we don't. we only have chocolate.
at this point, im wondering if she just didn't understand what i was saying. i didn't tihnk it was a prank yet.
PC- ok. do you have cherry? what about cherry?
Me- no. just chocolate.
Pc- are you a lesbian?
Me-
no.PC- would you kiss me?
Me- no!
PC- sorry. i got a little off track here. im sorry. do you have caramel?
Me-no....
PC- you see, im a BIG woman. a Big woman. i need my lips to be...(at this point, i couldn't understand what she said.)
Me- im sorry, i didnt hear that.
now im starting to think PRANK!
PC- you don't understand. im a BIG woman. i want my lips volumptous! im a big woman you see! do you have carmel flavored? how about skin flavored?
Me- no. we only have chocolate. nothing else.
at this point, i should have just ended the phone call.
PC- ok. do you have condoms?
Me- yes we do.
PC-what sizes?
Me- they are assorted.
PC- but what sizes are they?
Me- we have extra large and and regular...
PC- do you have extra thin?
Me- yes.
Pc- do you have flavored?
Me- yes.
PC- what flavors? do you have caramel? cherry? boob flavors? what flavors? (yes, she said boob flavors)
Me- they are assorted....
PC- what flavors?
at this point, i decided to kinda play along, to a certain extent.
Me- i think we have cherry, and a few others. we also have flavored lubricant.
Pc -REALLY? awesome! do you have dildos?
Me-, no, that is something you need to get at a certain type of store.
PC- do you have a dildo? do you use dildos?
this one kinda struck me as a little too far
Me- if you do you not stop with the unappropriate questions, im going to have to terminate the call now.
PC- im sorry. im sorry. i won't do that again. im going to come in and get chocolate flavored lipgloss. and condoms. and lubricant. how much is that?
Me- im not sure. i have to ring them in to see how much it all comes to with tax. im not allowed to do that until the products are actually being purchased.
PC- well, you see. i need to know. im not wealthy.
Me- ok....the lipgloss is $5.99 plus tax, so i tihnk that will be about $6.30....the condoms have different prices, and i don't know which ones you want.
PC- i need to know. you see, im not wealthy. i live in a box! i stole this phone,and only have a few minutes before it runs out! i have my uncles credit card and want to buy this stuff!
Me- well, it shouldn't come to anymore than $30.
PC- well i need to know!
at this point, im getting very fed up with it. so im trying to get off the phone without hanging up on her, cause i hate doing that.
Me-ma'am, is there anything else i can help you with? i have customers in the store i have to attend to.
Pc- i have one more question! what kind of candy do you have?
Me- alot. we have a whole aisle for it.
PC- can you read me all the names?
Me, deciding to pass her off to somebody else- no, but im sure CVS* could!
PC- really? can you transfer me to CVS?
Me, in a VERY cherry voice,-Sure! just hold on one moment please!
and i hung up......
there were many points where i should have just hung up. but i was waiting for that one moment where she gives me the perfect escape.
yes, this is true. i didn't exaggerate. it was a long freaking phone call.....
*in case you don't know, i work for one of CVS's biggest competitors
Ahem! 
Eric the Grey
)
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