My child was (kind of) an SC!

[persephone]

Hi, I'm new here, looking for a job. This is my first post -- please be nice? (I think this is where this should go -- feel free to move it if it is not!)

So I have two children, Daughter who is 5 and Son who is 2 and a half. We had to go to Walgreens this morning to pick up a prescription for me. I'm usually really good about keeping a good eye on my kids and didn't see either of them wander away. I signed for my prescription back in the pharmacy and then we went back out to the car.

I'm about halfway home when I hear crinkling. Like paper. I keep my car very clean (if there's a wreck, little things can become flying bullets -- yes, I'm paranoid when it comes to my munchkins!) so I couldn't figure out what I was hearing. I look in my rearview mirror -- MY SON HAS A CANDY BAR!!!

I knew I didn't buy it, so I asked where he got it from. He said "the store". I know he doesn't have money, so I figured he must have picked it up. I took the candy from him (it wasn't open yet, thank goodness), turned around and we went directly back. I went in and asked the cashier to please call her manager for me.

I did the best I could. I made my son apologize and give the candy bar back to the manager. The manager thanked him for being honest and bringing it back and "reminded" him that we had to pay for things in stores and that if he wanted something, he should ask his parents if he could have it.

I was so embarrassed! The manager laughed and said that it happens and thanked me for bringing it back (would parents really NOT bring it back?) but I still can't believe my son did that. Hopefully he'll remember now and I know to keep an especially close eye on him around candy!

Is there anything else I could have done to make it better or do you think I handled it the best I could?

[Monica]

I think you handled it the best you could, and handled it how all parents should, imo.

[Crazeyal]

No, this was much better than massive drama, yelling, and the hitting that some parents would go through. Good for you.

[persephone]

No, this was much better than massive drama, yelling, and the hitting that some parents would go through. Good for you.

Well, as I see it, neither I nor his Daddy has ever actually said outright "Do not take things from a store without paying for them" cause, well, he's young, so maybe he didn't understand. So I don't think yelling at him or punishing him severely is really in order here, you know? Now he knows, if he does it again, he'll get some kind of punishment beyond just apologizing to the manager. Glad other people agree with me!

[tropicsgoddess]

You handled it well!

[StormCMage]

lets see

spotted candy bar: check (ok a bit late but kids can be sneaky little buggers)
remembered you didn't buy one: check
remember kid has no money: check
told kid why it was wrong: check
brought kid back to pay for candy or return it depending: check
apoligized: check

hmmm nope, no improvements needed here

[bainsidhe]

(would parents really NOT bring it back?)

You have to ask?
Kudos to you for trying to instill a sense of responsibility and right from wrong. Hope it's a memory your son keeps for a loooong time.

[going gaga]

There's no better way to have handled it ,


(would parents really NOT bring it back?)

Sadly yes quite a lot don't, from embarrassment , not noticing, or CBA.
When I worked at a toy store all small displays were considered lost as soon as we had taken them out the packaging.
These weren't cheep pocket money ones either. They would all wind up in little pockets, only once did a mother bring back one of the toys.

Kudos for having the guts and moral integrity to do this.

[Aethian]

I saw a girl one time who stole a pack of gum, when I pointed it out to the Mom she slapped the girl and threw the pack of gum away. I made the commet to Mom that the girl just learned not one valuable thing by that and the woman just gave me the cat butt face. Slapped her kid again and told her that she can't steal.

Yea...like that girl learned a damn thing.



You did right by your son and he will remember that longer then you think. But perhaps a set of ground rules for going into the store? I remember with Mom I was allowed something 2 dollars and down if it wasa quick store outing and I was good. It it was a long store outing it was 5 dollars and down, if I was really good and didn't need even one reminding my limit was 10 dollars. Of course this was early 80's and those were bigger limits then for toys.

Wjat about something like working towards a movie outing or a small increase in pocket money so that he can start learning money handling NOW and know that he has to save if he wants something special.

[Antisocial_Worker]

Here at CS, we know suck... [/local used-car dealership guy voice]

...and this isn't suck. Innocent mistake and you handled it perfectly. If you've spent any amount of time here, you know suck too. We have scads of it for you to peruse and educate yourself with.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

If only the parents around here behaved more like you. I used to work in a video store, and my manager caught one child taking the chocolate bars from the shelf, twisting (and breaking) them, then dropping them on the floor. She didn't notice until he had done about 10 of them because she was trying to help the child's mother. When she called the mother on her brood's behaviour, the woman just said "Well, they (the chocolate bars) shouldn't be where he could reach them." My boss tried to charge them for the broken bars and the customer refused and stormed out.

Now, on the flip side, I remember one where the mother did catch that the child had 'aquired' candy from the store. She came back, dragging the crying child, told the child to pay his money for the candy, then made the child throw it in the garbage because he was not allowed to have any candy to begin with! (Apparently he had mis-behaved elsewhere while shopping)

[Summerfly413]

I did that when I was little, with a pack of gum. I opened it in the car after we left, and my mom asked where I got it, and I said from the store, and she made me go back in and give to the cashier and apologise. I haven't stolen anything since

[Supernautus]

A lot of parents wouldn't mention it also because if they take it off their kid, the kid will go mad, and don't want the bother of that. But if my son ever took something it would be going straight back.

[Peppergirl]

You handled it great.

I won't be surprised if someone comes along and tells a similar story, only from a stores perspective, in which the parent blames the STORE for their kid taking something. Im sure it happens all the time.

I am 38 years old and I clearly remember stealing a butterscotch candy from a department store's candy department when I was 4. By the time my mom saw it, it was in my mouth.

I remember clear-as-day that my mother was suitably appalled and marched me back to the counter to tell what I did. I also remember the clerk trying so hard not to laugh, and thanking me for admitting what I did.

You were much calmer than my mom. Although she didn't hit me over it, I remember being dragged by the wrist and shrieked at.

If that's not a 'life lesson', I don't know what is.

[Forensic Waitress]

You absolutely did the right thing, my mother did the same thing with my brother when he did it when he was young.

The problem now is that that same brother has two little girls and their eldest, 2 years old, has started doing that. The thing that annoys me is that my sister in law asked my mother what she did and my mother relayed that story to her and she just ignored it and now my niece has done it another two times without consequence.

My niece doesn't know that it is wrong and the way you handled it is exactly the way you should as you have taught them a valuable lesson, the only other advice that my mother can also give on this is to get the children to pay for small things so that they completely understand that money must be exchanged in order to get the product.

The last thing I will say is also well done on placing boundaries for your children, my niece doesn't have them and is why she is on her way to being a top SC which I find very embarrassing.