Yesterday we had a fire alarm. These are always a pain in the arse - people complain and take ages to leave and make a fuss about it and blah blah blah, and then it always turns out to have been caused by the catering students burning the pastry or something (occasionally it's due to blowtorch misuse in the technology department). However, yesterday two SCs particularly stood out.
So, the fire alarm sounds, we all groan, and then start yelling for people to get their stuff and leave via the back exits, etc etc. Once (it seems) all the students are out, we grab our coats and head out after them. One of my coworkers (K) is standing at the back of the library arguing with some guy, who we will call SC1.
SC1: I don't see why I have to leave. It's only a stupid fire drill.
K: It's not scheduled. We have to treat this as a real fire. Please leave the building.
SC1: I will if you'll explain to my tutor why my assignment isn't finished. [To which I would have liked to have replied - because you didn't do it until the last minute?]
K: Excuse me? This is a fire alarm. You're putting our lives at risk by not leaving. [We're not allowed to leave until all the students are out.]
SC1: Well, this is very inconvenient.
SC1 then spends about a minute putting on his coat and zipping it up v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y while shooting evil looks at K. Eventually he left, so we could all leave too.
So, we make our way down the fire exit stairs and towards the door, but there's a gridlock of people and we can't get out. We manage to get most of the students to squeeze through and leave. When we get closer to the door, we see the reason for the gridlock - only one of the two doors is open. The reason? They open outwards, and some guy - let's call him SC2, shall we? - is standing in front of one of them, nonchalantly smoking a cigarette. I'm normally pretty relaxed about health and safety - I'm not the kind of person who worries about whether a paperclip on the floor is a hazard or whatever - but come on, dude, you're blocking the fire exit during the fire alarm!
Me: Excuse me, you'll need to leave the building, everyone has to assemble in the car park.
SC2: *Gives me a patronising sort of look, shakes his head, and turns away*
Me:
Excuse me, you'll need to leave the building, this is a fire alarm. You need to go to the car park.
SC2: *Another patronising look* Not me.
Me: I'm sorry, this is a health and safety issue, you are blocking the fire exit, people need to leave the building.
SC2: I'm a teacher here and I'm not teaching today. I can stand wherever I want.
Me:
You are blocking a fire exit. The building could be on fire. You need to leave this doorway so that people can exit the building and not burn to death.
SC2 then takes one tiny little step out of the doorway so that he is technically standing on the pavement, gets an incredibly smug and self-satisfied look on his face, and says:
This is public land. You can't stop me standing here.
If you'll excuse my language for a moment - what a sad little wanker.
So, the fire alarm sounds, we all groan, and then start yelling for people to get their stuff and leave via the back exits, etc etc. Once (it seems) all the students are out, we grab our coats and head out after them. One of my coworkers (K) is standing at the back of the library arguing with some guy, who we will call SC1.
SC1: I don't see why I have to leave. It's only a stupid fire drill.
K: It's not scheduled. We have to treat this as a real fire. Please leave the building.
SC1: I will if you'll explain to my tutor why my assignment isn't finished. [To which I would have liked to have replied - because you didn't do it until the last minute?]
K: Excuse me? This is a fire alarm. You're putting our lives at risk by not leaving. [We're not allowed to leave until all the students are out.]
SC1: Well, this is very inconvenient.
SC1 then spends about a minute putting on his coat and zipping it up v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y while shooting evil looks at K. Eventually he left, so we could all leave too.
So, we make our way down the fire exit stairs and towards the door, but there's a gridlock of people and we can't get out. We manage to get most of the students to squeeze through and leave. When we get closer to the door, we see the reason for the gridlock - only one of the two doors is open. The reason? They open outwards, and some guy - let's call him SC2, shall we? - is standing in front of one of them, nonchalantly smoking a cigarette. I'm normally pretty relaxed about health and safety - I'm not the kind of person who worries about whether a paperclip on the floor is a hazard or whatever - but come on, dude, you're blocking the fire exit during the fire alarm!
Me: Excuse me, you'll need to leave the building, everyone has to assemble in the car park.
SC2: *Gives me a patronising sort of look, shakes his head, and turns away*
Me:

SC2: *Another patronising look* Not me.
Me: I'm sorry, this is a health and safety issue, you are blocking the fire exit, people need to leave the building.
SC2: I'm a teacher here and I'm not teaching today. I can stand wherever I want.
Me:

SC2 then takes one tiny little step out of the doorway so that he is technically standing on the pavement, gets an incredibly smug and self-satisfied look on his face, and says:
This is public land. You can't stop me standing here.
If you'll excuse my language for a moment - what a sad little wanker.

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