More email suckiness

[Phone Jockey]

Email: The fact that you haven’t sent me that $18 check doesn’t bode well for you people!

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Email: I am tired of being made to pay you. Just to let you know, we are looking into other option to get rid of this ridiculous billing practice!

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Email: I prefer to remain communicating via email so that I do not have to remember details or anything else.

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Email: I asked for “light weight Internet” because I was not satisfied with heavy high speed Internet.

[ArenaBoy]

1. And just for that comment it will be a $38 bill.

2. Good luck.

3. How did this guy finish school?

4. Wonder if he would request featherweight internet?

[chainedbarista]

1. we're shaking in our boots; really, we are.

2. we're tired of serving you; just to let YOU know, we're disconnecting you so we don't have to deal with your asinine non-payment practice.

3. we have enrolled you in english 80 to help you with your communication skills, since they are lacking (in more than one way).

4. try our bantam weight service; it'll knock you out.

[Phone Jockey]

I'm telling you, I hate having to be "professional" with some of these whackos.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Email: The fact that you haven’t sent me that $18 check doesn’t bode well for you people!

I'm shaking in my shoes. That'll be at least a $54 "specialty" fee deducted from your $18 check, therefore you will owe us $36 Now who does that not bode well for?

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Email: I am tired of being made to pay you. Just to let you know, we are looking into other option to get rid of this ridiculous billing practice!

I didn't realize you were in a hostage situation. However, if you feel you must attempt to get rid of what you feel is a ridiculous practice, then by all means knock yourself out. Twit.

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Email: I prefer to remain communicating via email so that I do not have to remember details or anything else.

That to me sounds as if that is an issue we are not capable of assisting with. Please contact your psychiatric specialist.

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Email: I asked for “light weight Internet” because I was not satisfied with heavy high speed Internet.

Please find enclosed a couple of tin cans and some string. Also instructions on how to connect each computer to a can. Have a nice day.

[HawaiianShirts]

Email: I asked for “light weight Internet” because I was not satisfied with heavy high speed Internet.

Buh?

Wouldn't something light weight be faster than something heavy?
Since when does an electrical pulse carry weight?
Is there some diet I haven't heard of to trim those scroll-bar handles off obese web pages?

That one broke my brain. Glad I don't have any homework this weekend.

Bah.

[Becks]

I'm telling you, I hate having to be "professional" with some of these whackos.

:comforting pats: there, there™®