Oh boy am I glad to don't work in the Copy and Print Center.
No, this isn't a story about someone trying to counterfeit money.
Because our staffing levels are overabundant
, we had no one to cover the copy center when the girl there had to take her 30 minute lunch break except for Chrissy, our Inventory Associate. She used to work CPC, but because of the remodel she didn't know where anything was in the CPC anymore, so she quickly fell behind and paged for any available associate to come help.
I responded to the call, thinking maybe she had someone who needed help in self-serve, or with shipping a package. That I can do; and sort of full-serve copy center stuff I can't do because I'm not trained on it.
She had about four customers over there, all of whom needed full service help. Honestly, I'm not sure what Chrissy expected any of us to do, since there was no one else trained on CPC in the building, but I did manage to make this guy his copies (he only wanted 15 double sided copies made, easy enough to figure out).
Next two customers turned out to be a husband and wife, and they wanted to know about a book they were having bound. That I can't help with because I haven't a clue about that sort of thing. I apologize and tell them that they will have to wait for Chrissy.
Sucky Husband demands to speak with the "other girl who was here," the one who is currently on her lunch break.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but she's on break right now.
SH: Well when I worked here.....
Yeah, BULLSHIT you worked here. I've never seen you before in my life.
SH:....I never took a break THIS long!!
Yeah, BULLSHIT. You have no idea how long she's been gone, and neither do I.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but she's on a 30 minute lunch break right now, and I don't know how much longer she has.
SH: Well then go back there, get her OFF break and up HERE to help me!!
EW much?
Me: Sir, she's on a legally mandated break, and I can NOT take her off it.
SH: Oh! LEGALLY MANDATED now, is it?!?!
Me: Yes sir, under State of New Hampshire labor laws.
At this point, an outside line call for my department is ringing back, so I ignored this doucherocket and picked up the call on the CPC phone.
While I'm on the call, I can hear SH talking loudly to his wife making comments.
SH: It's ILLEGAL to help people these days!
SH: It's LEGALLY MANDATED to sit on your keester and do no work!
SH: No wonder the economy is bad!
Eventually I had to put the call on hold and walked away from the CPC.
SH: So you're telling me it's illegal to make money, eh?
Me: No sir, that's NOT what I said.
SH: YES YOU DID! That's EXACTLY what you said! I heard you say it.
Me *now halfway across the store and calling back over my shoulder*: NO SIR, I did NOT say that! YOU said it!
Right then, the CPC girl returned from her break and went to help SH and his wife.
Oh, and the kicker? They were in at 11AM to pick up a job they'd been told would not be finished any earlier than noon.
And on a side note, the call that I took in the middle of dealing with SH was a doozy in itself. It was a guy who claimed to have undergone knee surgery and was unable to walk. He wanted me to set aside two dozen Sharpie markers at the front counter for him. Why he selected the electronics department for that instead of Office Supplies is beyond me.
Me: Sure, I can do that. No problem.
SC: So when I get there I'll just beep the horn and you'll bring them out.
Me
: YOu'd still need to come in to pay for them.
Turns out he wanted us to come out, take his money, go back in and ring up the markers, then bring them and the receipt out to his vehicle.
I'm sorry, but this not a drive-thru, and it's not a Sonic's; we don't provide curbside service here. Second, if you can't walk, how can you drive yourself here (assuming that bit) and why is it so important to get two dozen Sharpies?
Amazingly, Professor X okayed this, but then the guy never bothered to show up.
Two entirely separate SCs at the same time. That's gotta be a record.
No, this isn't a story about someone trying to counterfeit money.
Because our staffing levels are overabundant

I responded to the call, thinking maybe she had someone who needed help in self-serve, or with shipping a package. That I can do; and sort of full-serve copy center stuff I can't do because I'm not trained on it.
She had about four customers over there, all of whom needed full service help. Honestly, I'm not sure what Chrissy expected any of us to do, since there was no one else trained on CPC in the building, but I did manage to make this guy his copies (he only wanted 15 double sided copies made, easy enough to figure out).
Next two customers turned out to be a husband and wife, and they wanted to know about a book they were having bound. That I can't help with because I haven't a clue about that sort of thing. I apologize and tell them that they will have to wait for Chrissy.
Sucky Husband demands to speak with the "other girl who was here," the one who is currently on her lunch break.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but she's on break right now.
SH: Well when I worked here.....
Yeah, BULLSHIT you worked here. I've never seen you before in my life.
SH:....I never took a break THIS long!!
Yeah, BULLSHIT. You have no idea how long she's been gone, and neither do I.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but she's on a 30 minute lunch break right now, and I don't know how much longer she has.
SH: Well then go back there, get her OFF break and up HERE to help me!!
EW much?
Me: Sir, she's on a legally mandated break, and I can NOT take her off it.
SH: Oh! LEGALLY MANDATED now, is it?!?!
Me: Yes sir, under State of New Hampshire labor laws.
At this point, an outside line call for my department is ringing back, so I ignored this doucherocket and picked up the call on the CPC phone.
While I'm on the call, I can hear SH talking loudly to his wife making comments.
SH: It's ILLEGAL to help people these days!
SH: It's LEGALLY MANDATED to sit on your keester and do no work!
SH: No wonder the economy is bad!
Eventually I had to put the call on hold and walked away from the CPC.
SH: So you're telling me it's illegal to make money, eh?
Me: No sir, that's NOT what I said.
SH: YES YOU DID! That's EXACTLY what you said! I heard you say it.
Me *now halfway across the store and calling back over my shoulder*: NO SIR, I did NOT say that! YOU said it!
Right then, the CPC girl returned from her break and went to help SH and his wife.
Oh, and the kicker? They were in at 11AM to pick up a job they'd been told would not be finished any earlier than noon.
And on a side note, the call that I took in the middle of dealing with SH was a doozy in itself. It was a guy who claimed to have undergone knee surgery and was unable to walk. He wanted me to set aside two dozen Sharpie markers at the front counter for him. Why he selected the electronics department for that instead of Office Supplies is beyond me.
Me: Sure, I can do that. No problem.
SC: So when I get there I'll just beep the horn and you'll bring them out.
Me

Turns out he wanted us to come out, take his money, go back in and ring up the markers, then bring them and the receipt out to his vehicle.
I'm sorry, but this not a drive-thru, and it's not a Sonic's; we don't provide curbside service here. Second, if you can't walk, how can you drive yourself here (assuming that bit) and why is it so important to get two dozen Sharpies?
Amazingly, Professor X okayed this, but then the guy never bothered to show up.
Two entirely separate SCs at the same time. That's gotta be a record.

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