I got a call this morning from a customer who wanted to make a purchase, but was in a hurry. I explained that she had two choices: overnight shipping at a premium price OR she could buy the software electronically and we would email her license information once her order was processed.
Note: I do not process orders. I get the information and give it to Eugene. He processes all orders in the order he receives them. The only exception is for customers who pay extra for overnight shipping. Paying extra will get them to the head of the line.
So I explained basically just that to her. Overnight means you get it the next business day and electronic means you get it after all the orders ahead of you get processed.
Electronic is faster than standard shipping because you don't have to wait for the thing to ship. Also we won't charge for shipping. I was quite clear that it wasn't instant and people who get electronic delivery don't have any priority over anyone else. I was also clear that they may have to wait a day or two for the email, but at least they won't have to wait a few MORE days after that for shipping. It's free and faster, but it's not instant.
She chooses electronic. Fair enough; I would too. Then she started getting dumb.
SC: So can I have my license information now?
Me: Your license information will be emailed to you after your order is processed.
SC: Why can't you process it now?
Me: As I menitoned, I don't process the orders. I'll give your information to shipping and they will email it to you once they have processed it.
SC: What needs to be done to process it?
Me: I honestly don't know how to do it, so I can't tell you.
SC: All they need to do is run my card number. I have a business and I KNOW that only takes a few minutes.
Me: I'm sure it does. However, there is more to this than just running a credit card. Also orders which came in before yours will be processed before yours. I can't tell you exactly how long it will be before we get to your order.
SC: [switching gears in the face of cold repetitive logic] I'm in a hurry. I'm dead in the water until this comes in.
Me: [recognizing the gear switch and calling it] If it's urgent, we do have a priority shipping option for $25 extra. Your order will go to the head of the queue and you will get your disks tomorrow. We will also be able to email the license to you this afternoon, if you like.
SC: [folding] Um, no. I don't need that. Just go ahead and do the electronic thing.
The rest of the call was uneventful.
About 15 minutes later she called back. At first I didn't know it was her:
Me: [Answering spiel]
SC: Sales, please.
Me: Would you like to place an order?
SC: Yes.
Me: I can help you with that.
SC: Oh. I talked to you already and, if what you told me was true, I guess I'm all set. [click]
Me:
Note: I do not process orders. I get the information and give it to Eugene. He processes all orders in the order he receives them. The only exception is for customers who pay extra for overnight shipping. Paying extra will get them to the head of the line.
So I explained basically just that to her. Overnight means you get it the next business day and electronic means you get it after all the orders ahead of you get processed.
Electronic is faster than standard shipping because you don't have to wait for the thing to ship. Also we won't charge for shipping. I was quite clear that it wasn't instant and people who get electronic delivery don't have any priority over anyone else. I was also clear that they may have to wait a day or two for the email, but at least they won't have to wait a few MORE days after that for shipping. It's free and faster, but it's not instant.
She chooses electronic. Fair enough; I would too. Then she started getting dumb.
SC: So can I have my license information now?
Me: Your license information will be emailed to you after your order is processed.
SC: Why can't you process it now?
Me: As I menitoned, I don't process the orders. I'll give your information to shipping and they will email it to you once they have processed it.
SC: What needs to be done to process it?
Me: I honestly don't know how to do it, so I can't tell you.
SC: All they need to do is run my card number. I have a business and I KNOW that only takes a few minutes.
Me: I'm sure it does. However, there is more to this than just running a credit card. Also orders which came in before yours will be processed before yours. I can't tell you exactly how long it will be before we get to your order.
SC: [switching gears in the face of cold repetitive logic] I'm in a hurry. I'm dead in the water until this comes in.
Me: [recognizing the gear switch and calling it] If it's urgent, we do have a priority shipping option for $25 extra. Your order will go to the head of the queue and you will get your disks tomorrow. We will also be able to email the license to you this afternoon, if you like.
SC: [folding] Um, no. I don't need that. Just go ahead and do the electronic thing.
The rest of the call was uneventful.
About 15 minutes later she called back. At first I didn't know it was her:
Me: [Answering spiel]
SC: Sales, please.
Me: Would you like to place an order?
SC: Yes.
Me: I can help you with that.
SC: Oh. I talked to you already and, if what you told me was true, I guess I'm all set. [click]
Me:

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