Really, you can just say no...

[corporateslave]

O.T. - Operation Teddybear.

That charity sounds awesome, and you rock.

But back re: original post; It's not about whether you can donate; it's whether you're polite about it, really. If you can't, decline politely. No one gets upset. There's no need to cause a ruckus when someone asks a yes or no question.

[Sonoma]

They don't need donations, they need a job! HAHAHAHAHA!"

I have routinely told Casey (my avatar) that he needs to go out & get a job. So far his only talent seems to be giving kisses & looking cute. Better get to work on that resume, Fluffball.

[Gurndigarn]

But back re: original post; It's not about whether you can donate; it's whether you're polite about it, really. If you can't, decline politely. No one gets upset. There's no need to cause a ruckus when someone asks a yes or no question.

Sometimes, it's how that question is asked that creates the problem, and the ruckus is a knee-jerk response. After all, most big-box stores aren't doing it because they really care about the charity in question. It's just the one they picked to shore up their "look at us give money away" PR campaign.

I have a daughter with cancer. Since the diagnosis, I've found that I do pay a lot more attention (and donate more) to various charities... after all, I'm on the receiving end of charity and governmental assistance... only I get more than I need to cover the additional expenses* (it's an odd feeling, trust me). So why not share? Despite that, I still react badly when some people ask if I want to "donate a dollar to XXX charity" or whatever. I find it intrusive and pushy. The only times I don't are when it's the corner grocery store, because I know it's not just a corporation doing a PR campaign. Everyone there knows me at least by face, and furthermore, they picked a local charity that I know: I know what they do, I know who they serve, and I know that they really really need the money.

------
* At least, I think it does. It's a hard call to make at times... does the fact that I chose to eat at a resturaunt more often or get more convenience food than I used to count as "needed because we have less time/energy given our daughter's treatment schedule", or is it a luxury we're taking because we have a bit of spare money now? Mostly I lump it into "needed" because I think it is, but judgement calls like that make the mental bookkeeping a mess.

[Bella_Vixen]

The Salvation Army bell ringers will be out soon--in fact in some places they may be out already.

They were at my store last night. Didn't help my headache.

[Mordecai]

Is it really that big of a deal for someone to ask if you can donate five bucks? Whether you do or not doesn't matter to me, but there's no need to be insecure and act as if they just violated you. Just be polite, say "no, thank you" and go on your way. It's not that hard.

[Sorianna]

At my local Wal-Mart they're doing a charity drive. Cool. I've always got a couple of bucks to spare because I'm damn lucky. I figured, hey, what the hell.

The sign on the register (which was the only mention of it, the cashier didn't mention it, probably because of reasons mentioned in this thread.) said something along the lines of "round up your total to the nearest dollar, all the change will go to such and such charity." Ok, that's awesome. I really don't need extra change. I mention this well before my total was rung up, 'cause that seems polite.

Mind you, then the cashier pulls out a pad of those little shaped pieces of paper with the charity on it and a space for your name, and asks "how much?"

Now me, I'm a wimp. I'll fold at a minute's notice if I'm in a public place with people I don't know. So I just though "ok, I guess their sign's out-or-date or something?" And answered $2, because I don't mind sparing the money.

I wasn't pressured into donating the money, no. I didn't mind donating $2. It's just that it wasn't what I was expecting, and I absolutely hate the pressure of writing "a little message" on those stupid peices of paper. If the cashier'd said "okay, here's your total rounded up to a dollar, would you like to donate anything more?" I'd have been fine, and probably given more (because I'm lucky with my financial situation, and like the feeling being generous gives me.). But there was no mention of the offer on the sign.

Aaaaand that's my whiny threadjack.

[Becks]

not everyone has a spare $13 to buy food with let alone give to charity

EXACTLY. Just because there are those of us that are lucky to have jobs doesn't mean that we have enough money to spare, even if it's for a cause that we feel strongly about.

Is it really that big of a deal for someone to ask if you can donate five bucks? Whether you do or not doesn't matter to me, but there's no need to be insecure and act as if they just violated you. Just be polite, say "no, thank you" and go on your way. It's not that hard.

True, but a lot more times than you'd think, if you turn down the request (no matter how politely) you're looked down upon as if you're worse than a puppy kicking, rainbow destroying unicorn slayer. Who hates children, the elderly and cookies.

[Mordecai]

True, but a lot more times than you'd think, if you turn down the request (no matter how politely) you're looked down upon as if you're worse than a puppy kicking, rainbow destroying unicorn slayer. Who hates children, the elderly and cookies.

I've turned down numerous requests to make a donation before, and not once have I ever felt as if they were silently judging me to an eternity in Hell.

I just think that some people need to grow a thicker skin and learn to not be so concerned with the way other people think about them. If a cashier thinks you're a terrible person for not donating, so what? It's not like you're going to see them often, or ever again, for that matter.

[Gurndigarn]

I've turned down numerous requests to make a donation before, and not once have I ever felt as if they were silently judging me to an eternity in Hell.

Really? I've not only seen that silently-judging expression, I've had people actively try to guilt me into donating after I said no. Usually a passive-aggressive-style guilt, but guilt nonetheless.

[Becks]

Mordecai, you're just very lucky, then.

[Broomjockey]

I just think that some people need to grow a thicker skin and learn to not be so concerned with the way other people think about them.

Let's drop comments/opinions like this, and keep to personally observed instances of either oversensitiveness, or SC-ishness in asking or refusing, okay people? Too much possibility of hitting a nerve if we keep up opinionating.

[BookstoreEscapee]

After all, most big-box stores aren't doing it because they really care about the charity in question. It's just the one they picked to shore up their "look at us give money away" PR campaign.

This is why I like B&N's holiday book drive. It's a company-wide program, but each store chooses two or three local groups to give the books to. They put up a display with tags listing an age and gender (to help make sure they get enough books for different reading levels) and the customer can pick a tag and then pick out an appropriate book. My stores in the past have donated to local head start programs, an after-school tutoring program for kids who come from families where the first language is not English (which happens to be through my mom's church), pre-schools, etc. They usually have a small selection of books at each register, so if a customer wants to grab a last-minute book to donate, they're right there, but they don't push it. They used to give 10% off each book being donated, but they stopped doing that a while back. Just before Christmas, the books are sorted by reading level and divided between the recipient groups.


I usually break bills and collect the change in my pocket as I shop (it goes in a jar which I take to the bank when it's full), so when the SA bell-ringers show up I'll give them my pocket-full of change. There's always one in the shopping center that Store2 is located in. Last year I also bought coffee for the woman. She had actually stopped me and asked if I could go into the coffee shop and get her another because her cup had gotten knocked over (and you could see on the sidewalk where it had gone splat); she insisted that if I told them it was for her they would give it to me but I didn't feel right doing that, so I just paid the 2 bucks for a cup. Plus I put some in her bucket. I don't generally donate to the "add $X to your order" type drives at the supermarket, because I'm at the supermarket a couple times a week and I can't give money every time I go out, as much as I'd like to be able to. I also donate several books every year at B&N when we get our extra employee appreciation discount before Christmas, since I can get extra then. Always one for each member of my family and then, depending on my theme* that year (in other words, how much the books adds up to) I usually grab a couple extras.

*I've done Dr. Seuss; Harry Potter; chosen a book that would be of interest to the person in whose name I'm giving it (e.g., Lord of the Rings box set for my brother); board books, picture books, etc. Haven't decided on this year's theme, yet - possibly SkippyJon Jones, but I'm open to other ideas

[rerant]

It's not a matter of wanting to donate or not, it's a matter of being able to afford to.
I literally live paycheck to paycheck. I know I'm not the only person who lives like this.
My bills do get paid on time and I might not be destitute but yes, even $13 is a big deal to me. Every dollar counts in my house, and donations to any charity are not part of my budget. I am sure it is the same situation for many others.

This is exactly my situation. I have less than $50 to my name and somehow I have to pay a phone bill and last the rest of the week. $13 for me would be the difference between being able to buy lunch or not. I know that can be spun in a selfish way but the reality is I just can't spare it. IF I have extra money - which miraculously happens from time to time - I usually like donating, mainly to things involving kids, but when I don't have the extra money I always feel like such an ass for saying no.
I know I can and it's not the end of the world, but it's true that people who say no to charity, in spite of why, often get viewed negatively.

[ArcticChicken]

"Haha! I wish they'd make a donation to me!!".

I want to murder the people who say that. I want to murder them with a spork.

Probably because when we were fund raising for St. Jude's there was a day when, I swear, 70% of the people through my lane responded that way.

I know that can be spun in a selfish way but the reality is I just can't spare it.

I literally cannot imagine how wanting to eat can be spun as selfish.

[McGoddess09]

At work, we are doing donations for Ronald McDonald House of Charities. One dollar and we put your name on a hand and hang it up on our doors or windows. It really brings the worst out in people. The kids might not even live to see Christmas and they can't even spare a dollar. And the people who donate just one and that's enough. I'm sure those kids really appreciate that. This would be the one time I won't get mad if you give me all that change you have in your car that you would give to me any other day while we are super busy. We've been yelled at for even asking.