Pet peeves

[Amalthea]

Everyday I have a new pet peeve when it comes to customers. It's usually whatever sucky customer scenario has played out the most that day, or has been the most memorable. Today's pet peeve: customers who cannot for the life of them actually tell you what they want.

My two examples.

SC: I want a book on sleep.
Me: (Great, this sounds fun) Okay, what exactly did you want a book about, how to fall asleep? The psychology of sleep?
SC: No, not how to fall asleep. Just sleep.
(Went around a few times on this one. She wanted a book on what is physically happening to your body when it is sleeping, and I couldn't find anything like that in the computer.)

SC comes up to me brandishing a small gift book, something about friendship with a picture of two puppies cuddling on the front.
SC: Do you have something like this, only bigger?
Me: What exactly do you mean by "like this"? You want a gift book on friendship? We do have some that come a little bigger than that, about this big. ::shows size with hands::
SC: No that's too small. I need something bigger.
Me: I'm afraid we don't have gift-type books on friendship that are any bigger than that.
SC: I just need something exactly like this, only bigger.
Me: This book doesn't come in a larger size.
SC: I want something LIKE it.
Me: What is it about that book that are you looking for? You want a book of pictures of puppies?
SC: No, just something like this. (Yeah, cuz if you say that one more time you hit the magic limit and I will pull exactly what you want out of a hat)
Me: Well, we have a series by Gregory Lang with photographs and quotes, but it's all family-oriented, like "Why a Son Needs a Father" or "I Love Grandma", there aren't any friendship ones.
SC: No, that won't work.
Me: I'm afraid I still don't understand. What exactly are you looking for?
SC: ::sighs:: Well, do you have a section of books of quotes?
Me: Sure. ::takes her to that section:: This is our section for quote books. But you may notice, most of these are just reference-type books with no pictures. Is that what you are looking for?
SC: No. I mostly want it for the pictures.
Me: So, you're looking for something with pictures of animals? We have some books of animal pictures in our pet section, and most of them have quotes relating to pets in them. Is that what you are looking for?
SC: Just show me that section.

So, at every turn she refuses to get more specific about what she wants, even when I ask questions to try and narrow things down a bit. ARGH, lady, help me help you!!!

[Becks]

Well, that made my head hurt.

As I was reading this, especially the end, I keep hearing Stabbing Westward's "Save Yourself"...

[Dark Psion]

Word of warning, Never Get a Job At a Hardware Store

"I need one of those thing-a-ma-bobs that go on a thing-a-ma-jig."

"I need a can of paint that is blue, like this." and points to a green sample card

"Do you have any of those plants that are green with the red flowers?"

"DO YOU SELL MIXERS?" Agh! Flashbacks

[Dreamstalker]

"I need one of those thing-a-ma-bobs that go on a thing-a-ma-jig."

That sounds like Jordan asking me about practically everything...yeah I'm more knowledgeable about computers than you at this point, but I can't help you if I don't know what you're talking about.

[Rubystars]

.

People who ask "Can I talk to your manager?" after I state company policy to them. Thankfully I do get backed up most of the time now.

As for the people not understanding which color is which, that annoys me too, like calling orange things red, or calling dark orange things yellow, or green things or purple things blue, etc.

[4Gifts4Lisa]

Word of warning, Never Get a Job At a Hardware Store

"I need one of those thing-a-ma-bobs that go on a thing-a-ma-jig."

"I need a can of paint that is blue, like this." and points to a green sample card

"Do you have any of those plants that are green with the red flowers?"

"DO YOU SELL MIXERS?" Agh! Flashbacks

Okay...I am a long time lurker...but this is too funny!

My husband sent me to the hardware store not too long ago, with a request for some nails. Fine.

So I get there, and there is a whole aisle devoted to nails. WTF!?!? I am thinking... I seriously feel like a man in a women's lingere store.

So I grab the nearest attendant and say, "HELP. My husband sent me here to buy nails. He is about your height, 185 lbs. What size nail should I get?!?!"

Of course, I was just kidding, and the hardware guy knew it too...

That story still makes me laugh. I hope it makde the hardware guy laugh, too...

[Rapscallion]

I seriously feel like a man in a women's lingere store.

Snappy answer one:

You mean fascinated, right?

Snappy answer two:

I feel like I'm a real man when I'm in the lingerie section, too!

Take your pick, folks- I'm sort of here all night...



Rapscallion

[HawaiianShirts]

"I need one of those thing-a-ma-bobs that go on a thing-a-ma-jig."

Sadly, I've had a few instances where this has worked.

At the pizza place I worked at in high school...
Manager: Hey, HawaiianShirts, I need the thing.
Me: What thing?
Manager: You know. The thing! With the thing?
Me: Oh, right. (Grabbed the scooper for our flour bucket. It's what she wanted. She was NOWHERE NEAR the flour bucket.)

In a friend's apartment...
Friend: (Gets up, wanders over to his desk, looks beneath the computer's keyboard with a rather confused expression on his face.)
Me: Your pen's on the kitchen table.
Friend: Oh. (blink blink) Thanks.

Current job...
Customer: Hi, I'm looking for a thing that... Well, I need... um...
Me: Video capture devices? To copy VHS tapes to your computer so you can make DVDs out of them?
Customer: That sounds about right.

No, I'm not psychic. I just knew how to read my manager and my friend. And I think I got lucky with that customer, but somehow it just fit that she would be looking for that.

[Kiwi]

God I had that conversation 100 times every shift at the craft store.... it always went something like this.... different products, same conversation.

Customer:I need some ribbon
Me:what kind of ribbon
C: Just ya know ribbon
M: ok well whats it for
C: its for a project, just regular ribbon
M: *sigh* Ok well there isnt such thing as regular ribbon but we have (takes a deep breath) craft ribbon, single satin ribbon, double satin ribbon, rickrack, brains, tarten ribbons, placing ribbons, gift ribbon, metal wired gift ribbon, plastic wired gift ribbon, crossgrain ribbon, blanket binding, decorative ribbon and elasticated ribbon. Would any of those help?
C: well which one of them is regular
M: *shows them the cheapest one* and points out the other 3 asiles of ribbon, I need to get back to the counter

repeat repeat repeat, it could be clay, paper, needles, buttons, elastic, glue, scrapbooking or paint ARGH paint *shakes fist* and that same exact converstation would go on and on and on, round and around with me desperate to get them to explain what they need it for or were going to use it for.

The smart ones wouldnt resist my questions and could be matched with a product in 30 seconds, others could be in the store for hours going through multiple staff members before finally having the information beaten out of them.... then them complaining about the service.

god I hate sucky customers!

I mean braids, not brains.... but the staff (well most of them did have brains)

[Jester]

As for the people not understanding which color is which, that annoys me too, like calling orange things red, or calling dark orange things yellow, or green things or purple things blue, etc.

In defense of that, some of us are colorblind to some degree. This has resulted in me, on numerous occasions, approaching a complete stranger in a store, pointing to the item in my hand, and saying, "Pardon me...but what color is this?"

Yes, I do do that.

Manager: Hey, HawaiianShirts, I need the thing.
Me: What thing?
Manager: You know. The thing! With the thing?

My friend FE and I have a running joke with that when it comes to magic (we are both magicians):

"Hey, do you know that one trick? You know, the one with the thing and the card and the guy?"

Sadly, while we joke about it, people actually do ask things remarkably similar to that.

[heather124]

Working in a DVD store I get the following a lot

SC: "I'm just after a movie"

ME: "Sure which one is that"

SC: "I'm not exactly sure of the title"

ME: "Ok, do you know who was in it?"

SC:" "No"

ME: "Do you know any part of the title?"

SC: "No"

ME: "Umm.."

SC: "It was the one, it was made a few years back, about the family, with the brothers, and the father was a police officer"


And then they look at you like you're meant to know it. They have no idea what the title is, who was in it or what year it was made and you're meant to know what movie it was. And then when I tell them I'm sorry but I can't help them without more information they always give me a look like I'm a moron that doesn't know what I'm doing!

[Girly]

"I need one of those thing-a-ma-bobs that go on a thing-a-ma-jig."

Oh gosh, I must admit I do this all the time, as well.

My husband sends me to the hardware store all the time. He especially likes to do it when he's in the middle of working on the project he needs the part for. 99% of the time, I have no idea what he's talking about, and he's like 'you do too, just go get me one of those, please!'

Thank god we live in a small town. The hardware store guys all know us, and after a couple of minutes of me trying my best to explain to them what he's doing, they grab the correct thing I need.

to the hardware store employees!

[Cosmic Cat]

This happened to me once:

Customer: *stands there looking confused*
Me: Can I help you?
C: I'm looking for something for my old lady, you know what I'm saying?
Me: What kind of thing?
C: Clothes
Me: Pants? Shirts? Dresses?
C: Pants I guess
Me: What kind of pants?
C: Jeans
Me: What kind?
C: I dunno. Those over there I guess.
Me: What size does she wear?
C: I dunno.
Me: Do you see anyone in the store who's about her size?
C: You, I guess.

And this went on for a loooong time, until I had helped him pick out two shirts and two pants.

[ladyklack]

craft ribbon, single satin ribbon, double satin ribbon, rickrack, brains, tarten ribbons, placing ribbons, gift ribbon, metal wired gift ribbon, plastic wired gift ribbon, crossgrain ribbon, blanket binding, decorative ribbon and elasticated ribbon.

Im picturing this as a song, that you can sing and dance to everytime a customer asks for ribbon. Maybe they'll think you're nutty and leave you alone.

[Seanette]

I've been known to walk into a car parts store, hand the counter gent a plastic bag containing parts, and request X number of what's in the bag (DH makes sure that if he has to send me for car parts, I either have relevant car specs memorized or written down). This works amazingly well, actually, and parts guys take it very much in stride.