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But I have to peeeee! (language)

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  • But I have to peeeee! (language)

    So I didn't actually take this call, but I overheard the whole thing. A man called in all upset because there were several cops hanging out at a gas station. (Keep in mind, these guys were all check out on lunch) Apparently all cops are just like the Terminator and are robots that do not require snacks, beverages or bathroom breaks.
    Someone else also overheard this call and mentioned that they once took a call from a woman who was upset that we had officers protecting someone who was running for office. She didn't believe her tax dollars should be spent on cops being personal body guards. A) it's possible that officer was being paid by whoever he was protecting, not the county. officers often do security type jobs on their days off. B) if it was someone you liked, you wouldn't be whinging about an officer protecting him now would you.

    Moral of the Story: If you're sitting in the library reading a book minding your own business and a cop puts a gun in your face (or any other genuinely wrong something or other); you have every right to complain. Otherwise, please shut the hell up. People like those mentioned above make it so people with real complaints are taken less seriously.

    I sentence thee to 90 days as Kara's bitch. At the end of those 90 days, you will be sent to Khiras who will beat you regularly to take out some frustration. Whenever he gets done with you, your spirit will likely be very close to broken... Then you get to work with Gravekeeper... He will likely get bored and take a cheese grater to your face. Trust me, it'll make you look pretty... You hideous, ass-licking, cock-gobbling, meat bag!!
    "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

    ...Beware the voice without a face...

  • #2
    What does this have to do with the topic sentence? Just curious, I still, thought it was funny.

    Quoth NightWatch View Post
    I sentence thee to 90 days as Kara's bitch. At the end of those 90 days, you will be sent to Khiras who will beat you regularly to take out some frustration. ... Then you get to work with Gravekeeper...
    How long did it take you to come up with this particular method of torture?

    SC
    "...four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one..." W. Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing Act I, Sc I

    Do you like Shakespeare? Join us The Globe Theater!

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    • #3
      As far as the topic sentence, I imagine at least one of those officers had to use the bathroom... I can imagine him thinking that [I have to pee] as some as douchemuffin is bitching him out for taking a break... and that torture method took no time at all whatsoever.. it was the last word after cock-gobbling that took some effort.
      "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

      ...Beware the voice without a face...

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      • #4
        A man called in all upset because there were several cops hanging out at a gas station.
        either that or he was planning on robbing the place and was pissed cos it's harder to rob a place when the cops are already there.

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        • #5
          Scrotum. The cheese grater goes on the scrotum.

          That being said I have never applied a cheese grater to a coworker as far as I can remember. Though its been many years now and I can't be expected to remember every little detail in my career.

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          • #6
            After Gravekeeper's done with him, can you send him my way?

            He'll have such a good time bathing in Numbnuts' Wall O' Stench And Incompetence.

            Then I'll send him in by the gross cash office lady who doesn't shower, doesn't wash her pantyhose, and hangs her crusty hearing aids out her ears for everybody to see.

            And then I'll beat him to relieve my own frustrations.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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            • #7
              ooh ooh ooh, can I help in the torture
              If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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              • #8
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                After Gravekeeper's done with him, can you send him my way?

                He'll have such a good time bathing in Numbnuts' Wall O' Stench And Incompetence.

                Then I'll send him in by the gross cash office lady who doesn't shower, doesn't wash her pantyhose, and hangs her crusty hearing aids out her ears for everybody to see.

                And then I'll beat him to relieve my own frustrations.


                I don't think the above sequence will stop for quite some time yet.
                "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                • #9
                  How come Kara, Khiras and Gravekeeper get all the fun?

                  Can I film it?
                  Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                  Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                  Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Evil Queen View Post
                    How come Kara, Khiras and Gravekeeper get all the fun?

                    Can I film it?
                    That's probably because whenever YOU get there first, you don't leave anything for anyone else to have fun with, sweetie. You have to learn how to share.
                    What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper

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                    • #11
                      Quoth mharbourgirl View Post
                      That's probably because whenever YOU get there first, you don't leave anything for anyone else to have fun with, sweetie. You have to learn how to share.
                      Damns.

                      If I learn to share can I play too?
                      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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                      • #12
                        As far as I'm concerned, Cops, paramedics, and Firefighters deserve every SECOND of a break they can get.

                        I've seen a table of cops in a restaurant, have to get up and race out the door, JUST as their food hit the table... the guys didn't even get to take a single bite of their main course.


                        The simple fact is, that police, firefighters, and paramedics, are never truly on break. Sure they get designated time where they can go and get a bite to eat, but if shit hits the fan... they HAVE to go back to work, even if they're in the middle of their meal.


                        It's something that these people (who complain) don't understand, because when THEY are on break, they don't have to go back to work no matter what...

                        Well, the emergency services DO.
                        <Insert clever signature here>

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Lingering Grin View Post
                          Well, the emergency services DO.
                          My uncle and cousin are and pretty much have always been volunteer firefighters. There have been tons of holiday dinners that they didn't get because they rushed out to help someone.

                          I've always been thrilled that there are not only people that can do that, but also choose to do that. I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle it. So if this guy wants to complain about the cops sitting around a gas station, he can get his ass up be be a cop for a day or two. I guarantee he'll shut the hell up then.
                          Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                          http://www.dywhcomic.com

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                          • #14
                            For those of you also desiring a turn with the torture... you may also have some, but yes, you HAVE to share (EQ!).
                            "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

                            ...Beware the voice without a face...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My stepdad was a volunteer firefighter for years when I was in school and yeah, everything stopped and he was out the door the second that pager was off. Didn't matter if it was the middle of dinner or 4am. You have to get up and go.

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