Crazy Lady (Longish)

[KMMCurly]

About once a month we get paid a visit by a woman who I have dubbed Crazy Saturday Lady, as she always comes in on a Saturday. And every time she comes in she ends up yelling and complaining at someone, be they fellow customer or cashier.

Now usually her antics amuse me as they have never before been directed at me. Yesterday Karma decided to pay me back for that. It was my turn.

Well it all started off fine enough, I put her shopping through and even though she muttered to herself every now and again nothing was setting her off. Until we got to paying.

She hands me a 50 pound note. Now, cashiers are not allowed to except fifties without approval from the supervisors because they must check to see if it's fake or not. Now remember, this is Saturday. The busiest day of the week. The supervisors are so busy running around that it sometimes takes a while for them to get to you.

Clearly this wasn't good enough. She's getting more and more ticked off and starts glaring at me. The people waiting behind her are getting annoyed as well. I apologize to everyone for the wait, they say it's fine, she goes back to muttering.

After a minute she lets out an almighty sigh and throws a twenty at me. We just went through all that and she could've paid straight away! The people behind her where not impressed.

Well, I give her her change, silently thanking the shopping gods that I managed to get through her shopping without her blowing off. Oh those shopping gods do have a sense of humor don't they?

CL- Crazy lady (imagine everything she says is so loud it's almost shouting)
Me- the wonderful and long-suffering cashier

CL: Are you alright?
Me: Huh? (thinking she's talking about my stuffed up nose, I've just getting over a cold) Oh yes I'm -
CL: You don't look right! (cue shocked looks from the people waiting)
Me: Umm. Well, okay. Bye. *hinthint*
CL: muttermutter You don't look right! I'm never coming to you again!
Me: (muttering to the lady behind her) Charming. Thinking: Thank God!
CL: You don't look right! You're all wrong!
Me: Thinking: lady you're lucky I got over my self-esteem issues a while back 'cause the 14-year-old me would've either burst out crying or socked you one and I'm leaning towards the latter!

She then proceeds to go down the the tills and point me out to the other cashiers and complain about me! She kept pointing and saying 'that girl ain't right!' then turning to glare at me some more.

At this point when the other cashiers are shooting me confused looks I burst into giggles. At this point I'm finding this so ridiculous I've curled up over my till laughing my ass off and when they start asking me what it was all about I can barley get out 'I don't know!' before I start giggling again.

So how was your Saturday?

[The Grim Shipper]

Ugh. Crazy added to general suckiness. I hate when people use my till as a way to break their large bills.

[BowserKoopa1]

We used to have to mark them with those counterfeit pens (whatever they call them) on 20s, 50s, and 100s. I had someone tell me "You can't make marks on US currency. That's illegal." Ok, those sound like the words of a counterfeiter to me. Yes we can mark on them, and we are going to see if they're real or not.
I had 1 really fucking stupid moron who said the stupidest thing I might ever hear a customer say. He said, "I don't care if its counterfeit! Y'all are gonna take that bill wether you want to or not!" Yeah, sure pal. Let me just make a quick phone call to the FBI or the police.
And in 1 of my previous stories that I posted, the mark on the bill turned black or dark brown, which is supposed to indicate it probably is counterfeit, and my manager said to take it. I told him, "Then why do we have these pens for? If you make me take this bill and it comes up counterfeit, you are taking the blame since you're making me take it!" Moron Manager right there. What manager in their right mind would take a bill when they know its most likely counterfeit?!

[Phone Jockey]

At least u know she's a nutter, so there's no truth to anything she says. Besides, you don't want that moron back in your line anyway.

[RetailWorkhorse]

RW: (Snapping) Ain't right? AIN'T RIGHT?! Listen here, Bob, I did my job, Bob, and while I have my sinuses stuffed up, Bob, I did the very utmost I can because I'm just that anal, Bob. Ain't right, Bob, whadda ya take me for, Bob? Who ever told you I was "right" was so lying to you, Bob!

Bob.

[KMMCurly]

RW: (Snapping) Ain't right? AIN'T RIGHT?! Listen here, Bob, I did my job, Bob, and while I have my sinuses stuffed up, Bob, I did the very utmost I can because I'm just that anal, Bob. Ain't right, Bob, whadda ya take me for, Bob? Who ever told you I was "right" was so lying to you, Bob!

Bob.

I kept waiting for her to say 'Ain't right in the head!' so I could say "Yep! And damn proud of it!"

[wynjara]

To this day I'm trying to figure out how the magic counterfeit-identifier pen marked one bill as both real and fake- within a quarter inch or so. I just drew a short line- half turned color.