Would you PLEASE get a clue?

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Ok, more from automotive hell.

Customer calls in and asks for an EGR Valve for a '99 Toyota pickup. Well there's a problem, there are four trucks for that year and she doesn't know what truck she has. She says she needs to get her husband to call back later and have him figure it out.

Not sucky, just average since so many people send other people to get parts for vehicles and do not give them the information they really need to get the part.

Half hour later I get the husband (or so I assume)

Me
SC - Without whom, this site would not exist
RBP - Random background people (barely audible on SC's side of the phone)

Me - Thank you for calling [auto parts store] this is Mongo how can I help you?
SC - (talking to RBP) [something that is unintelligible but contains a lot of f-bombs]
Me - ( a little bit louder)Thank you for calling [auto parts store] this is Mongo can I help you?
SC - (to me) Hold on fo one [smurf]ing minute! (to the RBP) Who the hell did I just call?
RBP - You called [auto parts store]
SC - Yeah, is this [auto parts store]?
Me - (what I wish I could say) No this is Dan's Discount Poisons. Can I interest you in a Strychnine Enema? (What I actually said) Yes this is. What can I help you find today.
SC - I need an EGR Valve for a 99 Toyota Pickup.
Me - What type of Pickup is this?
SC - Yo Man! It's a [smurf]ing pickup!
Me - There are several trucks for that year, can you tell me whether it's a Tacoma...
SC - Listen asshole! IT's a goddamn Pickup.
Me - Can I put you on hold so I can ask someone a quick question
SC - No man, I'm on a Cell Phone. I can't be waiting on no hold
Me - (thinking) You're going to burn the minutes whether I put you on hold or if I put my hand on the handset jackass.

So I ask the manager if the Toyota trucks were similar or whether they were different. <sigh> They are different.

Me - Sir?
SC - (talking to RBP) Man I'd love to get all up in that girls ass!
RBP - (mumbling in agreement)
Me - Sir!
SC - What do you want?
Me - (to take your truck and shove it up your urethra sideways?)Sir, I'm sorry but I need to know what pickup truck you have because there are a bunch of trucks in 1999 and...
SC - No you idiot. It's a 1995 Toyota pickup
Me - So you need a '95 and not a '99
SC - Jesus you don't listen good. I need a '90! A [smurf]ing one nine nine zero Toyota pickup! God Damn white folks are stupid.

Oh great, the race card rears it's ugly head. So I look it up and sure enough in 1990 there is something called the Toyota Pickup. Alas and alack there is no EGR valve listed that we can get (it was in the "if it's listed in this area you're screwed and having to look online or more likely at the dealer" section of our computer system.

Me - Ok sir...
SC - (to RBP) And thoes titties! I'd love to motorboat them
RBP - Yeah Booooy!
Me - (thinking to myself "too much information, think of holy water, think of holy water) Sir!
SC - Wait a goddamn minute! I'm talking to my homies
Me - ...
SC - Well?
Me - We don't have that part
SC - Can you see if the other store has it?
Me - No sir, it's a part that we do not carry at all. You'd have to call a dealer or check online.
SC - Can you order it?
Me - (Mentally quoting Red Dwarf when Dave Lister was trying to wrap his head around the fact that he's the only one alive on the whole ship "He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!") No sir, if it's listed in this section, it means that it is a part that [auto parts store] does not carry as a corporation. It can't be ordered from us.
SC - (to his RBP) Can you believe this shit? They don't have the mutha[smurf]ing EGR Valve! They doing dis to me cuz I'm black! <click>

I was never so glad to hear that click

M

[Apathy]

It's a '99. By that I meant '95. And by that I meant '90.
And by all that I meant I need to be fired out of a cannon and into the sun.

I wonder if his wife was around to hear all that talk.

[Bright_Star]

How can somebody tell if you're a particular race on the phone? Explain that one to me...lol.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

This is why I don't post all that much, Mongo pretty much resumes my days.

Replace the race card with the gender card and that was last week.

[otakuneko]

SC - Jesus you don't listen good. I need a '90! A [smurf]ing one nine nine zero Toyota pickup! God Damn white folks are stupid.

Me: *uproarious laughter, then click*

[SuperB]

I'd have hung up on him at the first f bomb and to hell with any boss that said otherwise. People like that need to be forced into being polite (or human).

[Imogene]

I'd love to motorboat them

I'm sorry, Sir, we don't service motorboats here.

And why did I get worried that the caller was talking about Mongo's titties?

[Aethian]

I hope that fem he was talking about dumped a flamming drink down his pants.

[Broomjockey]

dumped a flamming drink down his pants.

You realize that would require touching said pants, right? And that this would probably be the closest a lady had been to his boy-bits ever? Why should she get the "honour"? Just throw the flaming drink on his pants. Similar effect. Better, actually. More oxygen to feed the flames.

[Aethian]

Oooh true. Maybe it would continue to flame over his entire form and then he wouldn't even need the 99/95/90 truck anyways.

[Amina516]

Me - (to take your truck and shove it up your urethra sideways?)

I LOVE this!!!!!

It shall become my new mental quote when people are pissing me off....

[Jay 2K Winger]

Me - (to take your truck and shove it up your urethra sideways?)

You forgot to shine it up real nice first!

[Alpha Strike]

I'd have hung up on him at the first f bomb and to hell with any boss that said otherwise. People like that need to be forced into being polite (or human).

Agreed.


Mongo: Why do you even put up with that sort of nonsense on the phone? Do you just have an extremely high tolerance for bullshit or do you have one of those managers who insists you have to handle any call, regardless of the crap your "customers" dish out?

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Mongo: Why do you even put up with that sort of nonsense on the phone? Do you just have an extremely high tolerance for bullshit or do you have one of those managers who insists you have to handle any call, regardless of the crap your "customers" dish out?

A little bit of both. Corporate policy is "The customer is always right" even if that "right" is something offensive about us.

[smileyeagle1021]

totally OT, but I loved the Toyota Pickup... I used to have a 92... greatest truck ever.

On topic... white people are stupid for not having clarevoyance... funny that I don't know many people of (insert ANY other race here) that have that skill either...