The Cutest Kid In The World

[CreepyCarrie]

This guy was weird and looney. So I'm just standing at my counter today, minding my own business and setting out some promotional coupons, when I sense that someone is standing in front of the counter. I look up and this guy is standing there holding up his baby (maybe 1 year old).

ME: Hello, can I help you?
HIM: I just wanted to show you the cutest kid in the world. *Holds baby up in front of my face*
ME: Um...yeah, she's cute alright
HIM: It's a rarity, you know. To have the cutest kid in the world
ME: uh..
HIM: Some people can brag that they've seen the biggest ball of yarn or the world's biggest steak. You, you can go home today and brag to all your friends that you've seen the cutest kid in the whole world. *practically shoves baby in my face again*
ME:
HIM: I mean, have you ever seen a kid so cute in your whole life?
ME: Well, I-
HIM: Now I want you to tell everybody that you've officially seen the cutest kid in the world. Paint it on a billboard.
ME:

Thankfully at that point he took his kid and went outside, where, I am told by a co-worker, he and his wife stand outside their car and fawn over the baby for about 10 minutes while their two other kids look on.

I always get the weirdos.

[Becks]

Well, that's an experience.

However, he ending up winning, since you told all of us the story.

Oh, well, there's NO way that he has the cutest kid in the world, because that titile is shared by my great-neice (slight edge) and great-nephew.

[Boulder_Bear]

I've probably done that with my daughter. But I have an excuse, she is my first. I am not uqite that strange or pushy but I have mentioned about her being the cutest baby in the world. Just look at my avatar isn't she cute.

[friendofjimmyk]

All together now...."AWWWWWW!"

No, seriously, bolder, she's cute.

Alas, I am childless. I adore children very much but will probably not be able to have any of my own....

I wish I had millions because I would adopt a small nation.

[Tria]

Thankfully at that point he took his kid and went outside, where, I am told by a co-worker, he and his wife stand outside their car and fawn over the baby for about 10 minutes while their two other kids look on.

I always get the weirdos.

Anyone feel sorry for the other two kids?

And at least he was a harmless weirdo....

[ArenaBoy]

Nothing wrong with loving your kids up but taking one of them out and saying how his baby is the cutest in the world to random people is going to net some strange looks. Oh, and to the OP, thanks for reminding me that I have to work Disney on Ice tonight meaning I'll get a bunch of parents complaining to me about something.

[Severen13]

My nephew is the cutest kid in the world! So there!

[Jester]

This reminds me of when I called my niece a lizard. Explanation:

My best friend's daughter I refer to as my niece. And she is an absolutely gorgeous child and has been for some time (she is currently 14), though I don't go around pushing her in people's faces like the idiot in the OP. In any case, while she is gorgeous now, when she was born, she was NOT a cute baby. In point of fact, she looked like a lizard. And not a cute lizard either. And somehow, this came out in conversation with her one day, when she was about 7-10 or so (I can't recall exactly).

JESTER: "Yep, I've known you since the day you were born, quite literally."
NIECE: "Really?"
JESTER: "Yep. Of course, when you were born, you looked like a lizard."
NIECE: "That's not very nice!"
JESTER: "Well, it's true!"
[Niece runs into other room to her mom, my Best Friend]
NIECE: "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Uncle Jester said that when I was born, I looked like a lizard."
BEST FRIEND: "Well, Niece....you kinda did."
NIECE:

Apparently she was shocked when her mother agreed with me and didn't tell her that she was, as a baby, "the cutest kid in the world." I will never remember her absolutely stunned expression at that point....and the silence that followed. She was, for one of the few times in her life, completely and utterly speechless. In fact, I dare say it might be appropriate to use the word "godsmacked."

[One-Fang]

Anyone feel sorry for the other two kids?

Hell yes. If that one's the cutest baby in the whole world, imagine the attention imbalance in that household.

Jester - in this day and age of digital photography, the neice had never seen a photo of herself as a baby?

[Jester]

One Fang, first of all, when she was born, in 1992, digital photography was not that prevalent, and her mother was a not very wealthy 19 year old.

Secondly, I am sure she HAS seen pictures of herself as a baby, but she may not have agreed that she looked like a lizard. We always view ourselves differently than the world views us.

[AFpheonix]

It wasn't this guy was it?

Oops, my nerd is showing.....

[Bliss]

Oh man pheonix, yeah, I tought about him when all of this popped up, I love that character. lol.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Anyone feel sorry for the other two kids?

You know, most parents have a problem with choosing their favorite child-not so with this couple. I wonder what will happen when the child grows up to be a bastard teenager? Or they have an even cuter baby?

[XCashier]

JESTER: "Yep, I've known you since the day you were born, quite literally."
NIECE: "Really?"
JESTER: "Yep. Of course, when you were born, you looked like a lizard."

Every brand-new baby looks weird. It usually takes a few days to a few weeks for the features and skin tone to normalize and the baby to not look lizard-like. And sometimes the handsomest people start out as homely babies.

You know, most parents have a problem with choosing their favorite child-not so with this couple.

It's much easier when you only have one.

[Jester]

Every brand-new baby looks weird. It usually takes a few days to a few weeks for the features and skin tone to normalize and the baby to not look lizard-like.

Oh, *I* know that. But trying telling that to someone when you are talking about THEM as a baby. Especially if they are a kid when you are doing this. Or especially if you are talking about THEIR child.

This is why when people show me pictures of newborns and say, "Aren't they so cute?" I have to hold my tongue. Because, frankly, if you ask me, most newborns are anything but cute. Hell, most BABIES aren't all that cute, and that includes many that grow up to be gorgeous people. Perfect example is the niece in my story: she was not an attractive newborn, and not even that cute a baby. Once she reached child, and now teenager, status, she really started to blossom, and is gorgeous. And that is not just the opinion of an overly-doting uncle....many people say this about her.

This is why I have high hopes for her little sister, who is just about to turn 2. Because, although my best friend would kill me if she heard me say this, she is not overly attractive as a baby. (Note: almost all children are far more attractive to their parents than they are to the rest of the world, and that is how it should be.)