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Because I’m feeling a bit snotty today. Reading CS before I go in to work my shift will do that to you.
Here’s a list of the common SCs we get at Good Old Chick-Fil-A.
“You’re Not Psychics?”
SC: I want nuggets and a drink.
ChickenGoddess(That’s me!): Would you like an eight or twelve pack of nuggets?
SC: (huffy {thinking: Why don’t you know what I want idiot, I dun told you})Eight!
CG: And what would you like to drink?
SC:{This again? How can she not know what I want?}Coke
CG: Anything else?
SC: That come with fries don’t it?
CG: I’m sorry, did you want the meal?
SC: That’s what I said.
CG: (smiles, makes drink, does not kill SC for being alive){Thinking: No, moron, you told me nuggets and a drink and have given me attitude for asking you simple questions to insure you get the proper order, grow a brain cell and learn to say what you mean instead of thinking I know all and am a great psychic.} I’m sorry about that; may I get you anything else?
But I’m Special (College Edition)
Every Wednesday during spring and fall semesters we offer a deal to college staff and students (There are several community colleges and one (very small) university in our area). When you show your college ID, if you buy a medium fry and a medium drink, you will get your choice of a Chick-Fil-A Sandwich or an eight pack of nuggets for free. Now this cuts the cost of the combo from 5.66 to 3.15 (or 3.32 if you get lemonade) It’s a pretty sweet deal in my eyes.
*But I don’t like those options
SC: Can I get strips/a wrap/a salad/ a chicken salad sandwich instead.
CG:{Not this again. I hate college kids} I’m sorry the deal is only on the sandwich or nuggets.
SC: But I want (blah)
CG: I’m sorry but you cannot get (blah) with the college discount.
*You mean I need to prove I’m a student
CG: May I please see your college ID.
SC: I don’t have it with me.
CG: I’m sorry I can’t give you the discount then.
SC: I have my parking sticker!
CG: {Yeah, and you could have borrowed someone else’s car, the ID has your picture on it} I’m sorry we only accept the IDs.
**College Psychics
SC: Hey! Where’s my discount? I go to (insert school name here)
CG: I’m sorry, you should have told us when you ordered at the box that you had your ID’s with you {You moron}. It will take just a moment to refund the extra money.
*But I have an ID, why can’t I exploit you?
SC: I want four of those college deal things.
CG: I’m sorry, do you have four students total?
SC: No.
CG: {Are you freakin’ kidding me?} Then I’m sorry I can’t give you more than one college discount
But I thought that WAS a yes or no question
(two examples, both annoying as hell)
CG: Hi, is this going to be dine in or carry out?
SC: Yes, I would like….
CG: I’m sorry was that for Dine in?
SC: I said yes!!!!!!
~~OR~~
SC: I’d like a number five with a tea
CG: Would you like eight or twelve nuggets with that?
SC: Yes.
CG: {I’m telling you, there need to be classes in high school on ordering food. When I take over the world, there will be and you’ll all be forced to return to high school for one year to take them.} Was that eight or twelve?
SC: Yes! And I’d like…
CG: I’m sorry Ma’am, was that eight nuggets?
SC: TWELVE!
But I’m a Brand Whore!
SC: … and a pepsi!
CG: {Can nobody read the menu boards????} Will Coke be alright?
SC: What?!
CG: {Don’t have an aneurism, it’ll hold up my drive-through…} We don’t carry Pepsi, will Coke work instead.
SC: (heavy dramatic sigh) I guess I’ll just have tea then.
CG: (off the speaker) Because having Pepsi to rot your teeth is so important.
Coworker: What?
CG: Nothing!
You people have some nerve(drive thru specific)
SC: Yes, I have four separate orders, on the first I’d like---
CG: I’m sorry I cannot take more than two orders through drive-through
SC
sigh) FINE
~~OR~~
SC: Yes I’d like to order a large nugget tray
CG: {Lady, it’s twelve, thirty, I have the drive-thru line back up onto the highway, get a grip.} I’m sorry ma’am, but since nugget trays take some time to make we ask that you please come inside to order them.
SC: But I don’t have time to come inside.
CG: {It takes maybe thirty seconds to park and waddle in the door, I’m sure you can do it.} I’m very sorry ma’am but A large nugget tray can take nearly twenty minutes to make during lunchtime hours so we ask that you place those orders inside or that you call ahead so we can have it ready when you arrive.
SC: (drives off nearly slamming into another car)
CG: (to coworkers) Why can’t we kill these people?
CW: I donno , but I’d bail you out.
That’s most of the recurring SC things I can think of for the moment. Here is a more specific tale.
MAYO!
So I’m working drive-thru one day, I’m on the register and a good friend H. is on the box and we’re just slamming out orders. The thing about our drive-thru is, because our store is a bit small we only have one window so the box is behind me and I can hear the order as its being taken and such. Makes communication easy, but can be a pain when you hear someone you dread coming. This was the case.
Players: CG -> The ChickenGoddess herself = Me
H = Nice Coworker
SM= Stupid (good for nothing[string of curse words]manager
SMB= Scary Mayo Bitc---I mean lady
H: Welcome to chick-fil-a, My name is H, how may I help you?
SMB: I want and number one with a coke, fries extra crispy and I want you to put some mayonnaise on my sandwich.
H: I’ve got a number one with fries well done, a coke to drink and some mayonnaise.
SMB: (getting louder) I want you to put that Mayo on my sandwich for me.
H: I’m sorry ma’am, but we cannot put the mayonnaise on the sandwich for you, it’s against company policy.
SMB: I just heard you tell the lady in front of me you’d do it for her! Why are you not doing that for me, Put my mayo on my sandwich (blah, blah, blah whine, bitch, moan)
H: (annoyed at the hold up in drive-thru and the woman’s attitude) I’m sorry ma’am but it is company policy, your total is 5.39.
(a few minutes and four cars later, and now I have SMB in my face)
SMB: I want you to put the mayo on my sandwich!
CG: I’m sorry ma’am I can’t, it’s against company policy.
SMB: Why? I want you to put the mayo on my sandwich, I can’t do it when I’m driving.
CG:{Well would it kill your fat ass to park for the second it takes to do, or even better, eat when you arrive at your destination, or would that be too much hard work for you? Or how about a nice nursemaid to hold your hand and wipe your ass for you too?} I’m sorry ma’am the founder of chick-fil-a thought that by not including sauces or condiments on the sandwiches we could lower the risk of cross contamination and the customer could put on as much or as little sauce as they would like.
SMB: Don’t get smart with me! I want to talk to a manager!
CG: (goes into the back looking for the competent manager, sadly run into SM first.) Uh, SM, I’ve got a lady at the window who wants to talk to a manager.
SM: What’d you do!?
CG: {Oh no you just didn’t!!!!
!!!!} Nothing, (explains the situation.)
(SM and I Return to the scene of the crime)
SMB proceeds to yell at SM for a while, he repeats what H and I have both been saying the entire time. She gets huffy, finally I hand her her food. Mayonnaise packet safely in the bag for her to use.
SMB: (takes out mayo packet and holds it up) I need more than this.
CG: (grit teeth) {Just slather it on your beer gut, lady! That’s where it’s going.} I’m sorry ma’am. (give her an extra two packets of mayo) Here you go.
SMB: (looks at me expectantly)
CG: {Oh dear god, just Go AWAY!} Ma’am?
SMB: I need a damn knife if I have to put this damn Mayo on the sandwich MYSELF!
CG: O.o; (grabs a knife and hands it to her) It’s my pleasure serving you, have a nice day. (closes window quickly)
CG: (To H, SM has run away in fear) Dear God, can I shoot something.
H: (laughs)
SMB later called to complain some more about the mayo and that her food was cold. I told our general manager what had happened and he agreed that it wasn’t mine or H’s fault for the cold food or the mayonnaise.
Here’s a list of the common SCs we get at Good Old Chick-Fil-A.
“You’re Not Psychics?”
SC: I want nuggets and a drink.
ChickenGoddess(That’s me!): Would you like an eight or twelve pack of nuggets?
SC: (huffy {thinking: Why don’t you know what I want idiot, I dun told you})Eight!
CG: And what would you like to drink?
SC:{This again? How can she not know what I want?}Coke
CG: Anything else?
SC: That come with fries don’t it?
CG: I’m sorry, did you want the meal?
SC: That’s what I said.
CG: (smiles, makes drink, does not kill SC for being alive){Thinking: No, moron, you told me nuggets and a drink and have given me attitude for asking you simple questions to insure you get the proper order, grow a brain cell and learn to say what you mean instead of thinking I know all and am a great psychic.} I’m sorry about that; may I get you anything else?
But I’m Special (College Edition)
Every Wednesday during spring and fall semesters we offer a deal to college staff and students (There are several community colleges and one (very small) university in our area). When you show your college ID, if you buy a medium fry and a medium drink, you will get your choice of a Chick-Fil-A Sandwich or an eight pack of nuggets for free. Now this cuts the cost of the combo from 5.66 to 3.15 (or 3.32 if you get lemonade) It’s a pretty sweet deal in my eyes.
*But I don’t like those options
SC: Can I get strips/a wrap/a salad/ a chicken salad sandwich instead.
CG:{Not this again. I hate college kids} I’m sorry the deal is only on the sandwich or nuggets.
SC: But I want (blah)
CG: I’m sorry but you cannot get (blah) with the college discount.
*You mean I need to prove I’m a student
CG: May I please see your college ID.
SC: I don’t have it with me.
CG: I’m sorry I can’t give you the discount then.
SC: I have my parking sticker!
CG: {Yeah, and you could have borrowed someone else’s car, the ID has your picture on it} I’m sorry we only accept the IDs.
**College Psychics
SC: Hey! Where’s my discount? I go to (insert school name here)
CG: I’m sorry, you should have told us when you ordered at the box that you had your ID’s with you {You moron}. It will take just a moment to refund the extra money.
*But I have an ID, why can’t I exploit you?
SC: I want four of those college deal things.
CG: I’m sorry, do you have four students total?
SC: No.
CG: {Are you freakin’ kidding me?} Then I’m sorry I can’t give you more than one college discount
But I thought that WAS a yes or no question
(two examples, both annoying as hell)
CG: Hi, is this going to be dine in or carry out?
SC: Yes, I would like….
CG: I’m sorry was that for Dine in?
SC: I said yes!!!!!!
~~OR~~
SC: I’d like a number five with a tea
CG: Would you like eight or twelve nuggets with that?
SC: Yes.
CG: {I’m telling you, there need to be classes in high school on ordering food. When I take over the world, there will be and you’ll all be forced to return to high school for one year to take them.} Was that eight or twelve?
SC: Yes! And I’d like…
CG: I’m sorry Ma’am, was that eight nuggets?
SC: TWELVE!
But I’m a Brand Whore!
SC: … and a pepsi!
CG: {Can nobody read the menu boards????} Will Coke be alright?
SC: What?!
CG: {Don’t have an aneurism, it’ll hold up my drive-through…} We don’t carry Pepsi, will Coke work instead.
SC: (heavy dramatic sigh) I guess I’ll just have tea then.
CG: (off the speaker) Because having Pepsi to rot your teeth is so important.
Coworker: What?
CG: Nothing!
You people have some nerve(drive thru specific)
SC: Yes, I have four separate orders, on the first I’d like---
CG: I’m sorry I cannot take more than two orders through drive-through
SC
sigh) FINE~~OR~~
SC: Yes I’d like to order a large nugget tray
CG: {Lady, it’s twelve, thirty, I have the drive-thru line back up onto the highway, get a grip.} I’m sorry ma’am, but since nugget trays take some time to make we ask that you please come inside to order them.
SC: But I don’t have time to come inside.
CG: {It takes maybe thirty seconds to park and waddle in the door, I’m sure you can do it.} I’m very sorry ma’am but A large nugget tray can take nearly twenty minutes to make during lunchtime hours so we ask that you place those orders inside or that you call ahead so we can have it ready when you arrive.
SC: (drives off nearly slamming into another car)
CG: (to coworkers) Why can’t we kill these people?
CW: I donno , but I’d bail you out.
That’s most of the recurring SC things I can think of for the moment. Here is a more specific tale.
MAYO!
So I’m working drive-thru one day, I’m on the register and a good friend H. is on the box and we’re just slamming out orders. The thing about our drive-thru is, because our store is a bit small we only have one window so the box is behind me and I can hear the order as its being taken and such. Makes communication easy, but can be a pain when you hear someone you dread coming. This was the case.
Players: CG -> The ChickenGoddess herself = Me
H = Nice Coworker
SM= Stupid (good for nothing[string of curse words]manager
SMB= Scary Mayo Bitc---I mean lady
H: Welcome to chick-fil-a, My name is H, how may I help you?
SMB: I want and number one with a coke, fries extra crispy and I want you to put some mayonnaise on my sandwich.
H: I’ve got a number one with fries well done, a coke to drink and some mayonnaise.
SMB: (getting louder) I want you to put that Mayo on my sandwich for me.
H: I’m sorry ma’am, but we cannot put the mayonnaise on the sandwich for you, it’s against company policy.
SMB: I just heard you tell the lady in front of me you’d do it for her! Why are you not doing that for me, Put my mayo on my sandwich (blah, blah, blah whine, bitch, moan)
H: (annoyed at the hold up in drive-thru and the woman’s attitude) I’m sorry ma’am but it is company policy, your total is 5.39.
(a few minutes and four cars later, and now I have SMB in my face)
SMB: I want you to put the mayo on my sandwich!
CG: I’m sorry ma’am I can’t, it’s against company policy.
SMB: Why? I want you to put the mayo on my sandwich, I can’t do it when I’m driving.
CG:{Well would it kill your fat ass to park for the second it takes to do, or even better, eat when you arrive at your destination, or would that be too much hard work for you? Or how about a nice nursemaid to hold your hand and wipe your ass for you too?} I’m sorry ma’am the founder of chick-fil-a thought that by not including sauces or condiments on the sandwiches we could lower the risk of cross contamination and the customer could put on as much or as little sauce as they would like.
SMB: Don’t get smart with me! I want to talk to a manager!
CG: (goes into the back looking for the competent manager, sadly run into SM first.) Uh, SM, I’ve got a lady at the window who wants to talk to a manager.
SM: What’d you do!?
CG: {Oh no you just didn’t!!!!
!!!!} Nothing, (explains the situation.)(SM and I Return to the scene of the crime)
SMB proceeds to yell at SM for a while, he repeats what H and I have both been saying the entire time. She gets huffy, finally I hand her her food. Mayonnaise packet safely in the bag for her to use.
SMB: (takes out mayo packet and holds it up) I need more than this.
CG: (grit teeth) {Just slather it on your beer gut, lady! That’s where it’s going.} I’m sorry ma’am. (give her an extra two packets of mayo) Here you go.
SMB: (looks at me expectantly)
CG: {Oh dear god, just Go AWAY!} Ma’am?
SMB: I need a damn knife if I have to put this damn Mayo on the sandwich MYSELF!
CG: O.o; (grabs a knife and hands it to her) It’s my pleasure serving you, have a nice day. (closes window quickly)
CG: (To H, SM has run away in fear) Dear God, can I shoot something.
H: (laughs)
SMB later called to complain some more about the mayo and that her food was cold. I told our general manager what had happened and he agreed that it wasn’t mine or H’s fault for the cold food or the mayonnaise.
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