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I have never encountered a shift like today. It was AWFUL. I have had my fair share of bad shifts and encounters with SC's, but today was terrible. I don't know if it's just because I'm hyper sensitive at the moment because I'm considering moving jobs...
So, to start with, I was several members of staff down. One girl called in to say her gran had died (for the fourth time), one was sick, and another just didn't show up at all! And to top it all off, I was met with the biggest rush I have ever seen! (Apparently we took record sales, despite the fact I had to dish out about a million refunds)
So let's begin!
You have too much time on your hands
Like I said, we were majorly busy and understaffed. We had 30 minutes on food.
SC: Excuse me! You said 30 minutes on food! I have been waiting 32 minutes!
Me: I am sorry about that. I will just check on your...
SC: DONT BOTHER! You WILL give me my money back! I have lost my appitite!
I processed the refund for the food.
SC: Uhhhh, NO! You WILL give me a full refund!
Me: For the drinks you have already drank?
SC: YES! You WILL give me money!
Me: No.
I ran off. Seriously, it was that busy, I refused to deal or argue with him. He eventually left.
Get in line!!
SC stands at the end of the bar, away from the massive line of other customers, and starts battering an empty coffee mug on the side.
SC: Hello!? Hello?!
Me: Sir, you will have to get in line like everyone else!
SC: I only want coffee!
Me: And so do half my customers. You have to get in line.
SC: I only want coffee!
Me: I will be happy to serve you coffee when you get in line.
SC: Hello?! COFFEE! COFF-EEEEEEE!!
Me: Sir, in the time it would take me to make ONE coffee, I could serve ten beers. It is not ONLY a coffee. Please get in line.
SC: What about my coffee!?
Me: You will get it when it's your turn!
SC: Forget it.
Scrambled egg woes
Hen party alert! Oh how I hate them. There are about twenty women grouped together, I am taking out breakfasts, I am carrying four plates. THREE breakfasts and one round of scambled egg. The scrambled egg is balanced in a manner that the only way I can put it down is if I get rid of the other breakfasts first.
Me: Hi there. I've got three full english breakfasts.
SC: Scrambled egg here!
Me: Yes, but who's got the full english.
Complete silence.
SC: Scrambled egg! I ordered scrambled egg!
Me: Yes but I need to put these down first. Or I will drop it everywhere. Now who ordered full english?
Silence.
SC: Can I have my scrambled egg now?
Me: OK but these plates are REALLLLY hot, please can someone tell me who ordered full english?
These women had absolutely no idea what they had ordered. I was met with "Ummms" and "Ahhhhs" whilst my arms were getting burned by the searing hot plates.
SC: Scrambled egg!!
Me: OK.
I dumped all four plates next to her.
HOT PLATES AGAIN!
Family of four are eating. I take the kids meals. The plates were HOT!
Me: Hi, I've got two kids meals.
Father: Yeah sure just....
Sucky children enter.
Sucky Child: I'm not ready!!
Sucky Child slams his arms down on the table so it is impossible for me to put them down. Did I mention my arms were getting burned?
Father: Now son, come on.
SC: NO! I don't want my meal yet!
Second child joins in.
SC2: Yeah!
They both put their arms down on the table, I can't put the plates down. The parents look at ME with huge puppy eyes as if I am going to tell them off.
I walked away. I told them to shout me when they were ready. A co-worker was called over about ten minutes later to take them out.
What do you think they are made from??
A co-worker sends me over to deal with a complaint.
SC: YOU THE MANAGER??
Me: Yes. How can I help?
SC: YOUR FRIES ARE TOO POTATOEY!
Me:
What the fuck does that mean?
MAN-AGER!
OK, I work in a British pub. I have never encountered this before, but it happened to me about ten times today.
SC: Uhhh...I say...WAITER!
WAITER??? WAITER??? Seriously. What the fuck??
Merry Christmas
We have just put up our holiday opening times. We close early on Christmas Eve, and then don't open again until the day after Boxing Day.
SC: Excuse me, but I was planning on having breakfast here on Christmas Day! I'm staying in the hotel next door! And now you're telling me you're not going to be open. WHY???
Me: My kitchen staff would like to spend Christmas with their families...
SC: Well, as long as THEY'RE HAPPY!
LISTEN TO ME!!
A large group of people with cases walk in.
SC: Hi, we would like to check in...
Me: I'm sorry, you're in the wrong building. If you walk out that door, turn left and it's a couple of doors down. You can't miss it.
They couldn't even find their way out the bar. They wandered around, looking extremelly confused, and asked a co-worker...
SC: Hi, we would like to check in...
Me:
I can't be arsed either!!
The bar is VERY busy, and so is food. A co-worker and me are working the bar floor, and are running around like madmen trying to keep it clean and get the food out before it goes cold. Sucky woman appears.
SW: WAITER!
Me: *puts on shit eating smile* How can I help?
SW: I can't be arsed waiting in that long line at the bar! Get me a drink!
Me:
I just turned around and walked away. Bitch.
Finally, my shift was over, and I got to go home. I was supposed to be having a chat with my boss tonight about me possibly moving on. But I was in such a bad mood, I just had to leave.
Several vodkas later, and I feel loads better...and people wonder why I drink!
So, to start with, I was several members of staff down. One girl called in to say her gran had died (for the fourth time), one was sick, and another just didn't show up at all! And to top it all off, I was met with the biggest rush I have ever seen! (Apparently we took record sales, despite the fact I had to dish out about a million refunds)
So let's begin!
You have too much time on your hands
Like I said, we were majorly busy and understaffed. We had 30 minutes on food.
SC: Excuse me! You said 30 minutes on food! I have been waiting 32 minutes!
Me: I am sorry about that. I will just check on your...
SC: DONT BOTHER! You WILL give me my money back! I have lost my appitite!
I processed the refund for the food.
SC: Uhhhh, NO! You WILL give me a full refund!
Me: For the drinks you have already drank?
SC: YES! You WILL give me money!
Me: No.
I ran off. Seriously, it was that busy, I refused to deal or argue with him. He eventually left.
Get in line!!
SC stands at the end of the bar, away from the massive line of other customers, and starts battering an empty coffee mug on the side.
SC: Hello!? Hello?!
Me: Sir, you will have to get in line like everyone else!
SC: I only want coffee!
Me: And so do half my customers. You have to get in line.
SC: I only want coffee!
Me: I will be happy to serve you coffee when you get in line.
SC: Hello?! COFFEE! COFF-EEEEEEE!!
Me: Sir, in the time it would take me to make ONE coffee, I could serve ten beers. It is not ONLY a coffee. Please get in line.
SC: What about my coffee!?
Me: You will get it when it's your turn!
SC: Forget it.
Scrambled egg woes
Hen party alert! Oh how I hate them. There are about twenty women grouped together, I am taking out breakfasts, I am carrying four plates. THREE breakfasts and one round of scambled egg. The scrambled egg is balanced in a manner that the only way I can put it down is if I get rid of the other breakfasts first.
Me: Hi there. I've got three full english breakfasts.
SC: Scrambled egg here!
Me: Yes, but who's got the full english.
Complete silence.
SC: Scrambled egg! I ordered scrambled egg!
Me: Yes but I need to put these down first. Or I will drop it everywhere. Now who ordered full english?
Silence.
SC: Can I have my scrambled egg now?
Me: OK but these plates are REALLLLY hot, please can someone tell me who ordered full english?
These women had absolutely no idea what they had ordered. I was met with "Ummms" and "Ahhhhs" whilst my arms were getting burned by the searing hot plates.
SC: Scrambled egg!!
Me: OK.
I dumped all four plates next to her.
HOT PLATES AGAIN!
Family of four are eating. I take the kids meals. The plates were HOT!
Me: Hi, I've got two kids meals.
Father: Yeah sure just....
Sucky children enter.
Sucky Child: I'm not ready!!
Sucky Child slams his arms down on the table so it is impossible for me to put them down. Did I mention my arms were getting burned?
Father: Now son, come on.
SC: NO! I don't want my meal yet!
Second child joins in.
SC2: Yeah!
They both put their arms down on the table, I can't put the plates down. The parents look at ME with huge puppy eyes as if I am going to tell them off.
I walked away. I told them to shout me when they were ready. A co-worker was called over about ten minutes later to take them out.
What do you think they are made from??
A co-worker sends me over to deal with a complaint.
SC: YOU THE MANAGER??
Me: Yes. How can I help?
SC: YOUR FRIES ARE TOO POTATOEY!
Me:
What the fuck does that mean?
MAN-AGER!
OK, I work in a British pub. I have never encountered this before, but it happened to me about ten times today.
SC: Uhhh...I say...WAITER!
WAITER??? WAITER??? Seriously. What the fuck??
Merry Christmas
We have just put up our holiday opening times. We close early on Christmas Eve, and then don't open again until the day after Boxing Day.
SC: Excuse me, but I was planning on having breakfast here on Christmas Day! I'm staying in the hotel next door! And now you're telling me you're not going to be open. WHY???
Me: My kitchen staff would like to spend Christmas with their families...
SC: Well, as long as THEY'RE HAPPY!
LISTEN TO ME!!
A large group of people with cases walk in.
SC: Hi, we would like to check in...
Me: I'm sorry, you're in the wrong building. If you walk out that door, turn left and it's a couple of doors down. You can't miss it.
They couldn't even find their way out the bar. They wandered around, looking extremelly confused, and asked a co-worker...
SC: Hi, we would like to check in...
Me:
I can't be arsed either!!
The bar is VERY busy, and so is food. A co-worker and me are working the bar floor, and are running around like madmen trying to keep it clean and get the food out before it goes cold. Sucky woman appears.
SW: WAITER!
Me: *puts on shit eating smile* How can I help?
SW: I can't be arsed waiting in that long line at the bar! Get me a drink!
Me:
I just turned around and walked away. Bitch.
Finally, my shift was over, and I got to go home. I was supposed to be having a chat with my boss tonight about me possibly moving on. But I was in such a bad mood, I just had to leave.
Several vodkas later, and I feel loads better...and people wonder why I drink!
I sentence you to one hundred lashings of 
from each member on 
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