"he's cursing!" bit*hed the woman

[depechemodefan]

Our library has a policy of no cursing or foul langauge. Imagine how many times that gets enforced?* It's a fact of life, patrons curse, we can't say anything about it. Did I mention that a customer called me a "bitch" and did not get his ass thrown out? The security guard wanted to but my manager didn't want to.

Anyway, Fri. a woman goes up to a security guard and I don't know what she was asking but the guard asked if anyone was at one of the "service points". I said there were people there.

About 20 min. latter she goes back to the guard, and he said he would call his supervisor.

Her beef was that a young guy was "rapping and cursing and none of the librarians did anything! They could hear him and they didn't tell him to stop cursing!" Ugh. Did she bother to tell the support staff (the people maning the "service point" by the computers are support staff not librarians)? People get pissed when I tell them not to curse and either ignore me or go complain to the management; the curser will say I was harrassing him/her and the manager would tell me not to bother people for cursing it's not a big deal.

In general I don't care if people curse, just if it's disturbing other people I will say something and that's when the managers tell me to "leave it alone."

Anyway, the complainer also said the guy was harrassing her. But it was pretty much her telling him not to curse and him not paying attention to her.

She wrote up a complain about the cursing, which is fine with me, get the managers to see cursing is a problem.

The reason I find the woman a sucky customer is that, well, I think she should just suck it up. People curse. I tune them out unless it's a lot of "f" bombs and "c" words. I dont' know what the guy was saying, but the way the woman was carrying on, I think she's one of those control freaks that feels people shouldn't do things that she doesn't like. She kept on going on about how "the librarians didn't do anything about it!" Did she complain to the librarians or support staff? No, she just went to security. Though security should have just gone over, not expect the complainer to talk to a librarian, who would get security anyway. It's not like a rule that security can't say anything without a librarian telling him/her to.

And she was just in my face about how we should do something about cursers when I gave her the complaint form. Ughs.


*Though the thug-wannabees from the M.S. better not throw the "n" word around the manage, or else there will be a phone call to mommy and daddy.

[rerant]

The reason I find the woman a sucky customer is that, well, I think she should just suck it up.

Uhh... noooo, not exactly. Just because people curse and it's a fact of life doesn't mean we should have to sit around and listen to someone while they mutter "fuck this" and "fuck that" every other word. If this kid only swore a couple of times I can concede that she was being a tight ass, but if he was sitting there spouting off swear after swear then yeah, she has every right to complain and if there's a no swearing rule at your library she's also right that someone should have been enforcing it.
She probably went to security thinking that was who she was supposed to speak to regarding this. Her logic may have been: "Can't find a book? Librarian. Person sitting there disturbing me constantly? Security."
Makes sense to me.

I know I sound like a sailor sometimes, but never in public and it grates me so much when people swear constantly. If you're not out in the open and you're with friends then fine, do what you want, but if you're in public and dropping F-bombs every other word then you've officially become a pain in my ass.
Plus is makes you look trashy, IMO.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Plus is makes you look trashy, IMO.

I have to agree here. IMHO, it just makes a person look not only trashy, but also rather uneducated. It seems as if those are the only words they know - and I shudder to think what they must have been like in school.

Every so often we'll have a group of guys walking by the house and they will use extremely vulgar language. We try to ignore them because they are out in the street, but sometimes it's rather hard to when you're inside your house - with the front door closed, I might add - and you hear these morons throwing about a lot of f-this, f-that, p-word, n-word, or talking loudly about women in less than flattering terms.

It's practically nauseating - it's like these guys don't have any respect for anyone when that's the only vocabulary they use.


If it gets too bad and we are outside - I've known my mother to yell at them to stop using that language. Usually, they'll stop and start up again when they're out of hearing range.

Now if they'd just learn how to talk in a normal conversational volume rather than screaming for all the world to hear . . .

But yeah, I'd say the woman in the OP had every right to complain . . . I'd have said something as well and if nothing was done, I'd ask to speak to the manager about it and let him/her know what I thought about the undesirable language. Too bad the woman in the OP didn't ask for your manager - maybe if he heard an actual guest explain that he/she didn't feel comfortable in that kind of environment due to the language, maybe he'd be more apt to do something about it.

[Misanthropical]

I don't want to hear it all the time either, but the only time I will say something to someone is if there are children around.

Children should not be hearing it everywhere they go and get the idea that is a proper way to speak.

[Mordecai]

I don't blame you for being a little annoyed. You should see how some people react when they find out the movie they chose to watch happens to be rated R for a reason. Don't like to listen to people curse? Then leave. There's no need to make a scene.

[Broomjockey]

If this kid only swore a couple of times I can concede that she was being a tight ass, but if he was sitting there spouting off swear after swear then yeah, she has every right to complain and if there's a no swearing rule at your library she's also right that someone should have been enforcing it.

Except it doesn't sound like she was complaining to the right person, there's no specific rule against swearing, just "disturbing other patrons", and the bosses don't want the staff admonishing patrons even if it's deserved.

[depechemodefan]

Yeah, it's hard for me to write everything that happened.

She expected that the "librarians" (acutally, support staff) should have stopped the guy from cursing when they heard him. Unfortunately, everytime any one tries to enforce the rules the patron complains and the managers tell us not to enforce the rules. That we should pick our battles. So, for ex., one guy was cursing out a situation (like he couldn't find a book, and was cursing) and I told him I would help him if he would stop cursing. He still cursed, because it's his "right" and the manager told me the guy was agitated because he couldn't find the book, so I shouldn't antagonize him by telling him not to curse.

Anyway, I guess we don't say anything because the managers trained us to avoid conflict. Granted, I will tell people to watch their language if it's the "n" word or "f" every other word.

But anyway, if the support staff didn't do anything, it might be because they didn't notice the cursing, or they saw no reason to go up to him if no one complained to them (I understand the woman just went up to security to complain that the "librarians" weren't telling the guy to stop, not that she actually went to the support staff to ask them to talk to the guy).

Not that she was hysteric, but they way she carried on was like an old woman complaining about the kids getting in her yard (maybe to get their ball back) and calls the police. Because this woman wanted the police to protect her. The police officer who was on duty, though, was no where to be found.

[rerant]

Except it doesn't sound like she was complaining to the right person, there's no specific rule against swearing, just "disturbing other patrons", and the bosses don't want the staff admonishing patrons even if it's deserved.

That's why I added the bit about how she might have rationalized who to talk to:

"Her logic may have been: 'Can't find a book? Librarian. Person sitting there disturbing me constantly? Security.'"
I could completely understand how that would be someone's train of thought, since if it were me I would have probably done the same. Why? Because people aren't afraid of librarians.
Why the security officer didn't say something I don't know. I mean I know it's not necessarily his or her job, but a little, "Knock it off, would ya?" may have sufficed.

The only bit that irks me is that it seems like the managers at the library are more on the side of letting people do whatever they please just to avoid conflict. Well unfortunately if someone is breaking the rules they need to be told so.
Not in a rude or aggressive way, mind you, but it's only fair to other patrons that the people around them are expected to behave themselves.

[SuperB]

Anywhere there are children I would expect any staff to put an end to cursing. It's just not classy at all. One way that has always worked for me if someone becomes belligerent after asking them to stop is to explain that there are children nearby and they are being taught a more intelligent means of communication and such language is the exact opposite of "intelligent communication". Everyone I've used that on just furrows their brows and walks away.

[wagegoth]

Your managers are jackasses. I can outswear sailors, but that doesn't mean I want to hear someone cursing and cursing. An occasional swear word let fly is not a big deal, but some songs I have heard are nothing but swear words strung together.

A library is supposed to be a place for patrons to go to enjoy the available media, do research, take their children, etc. They cannot do that in your library with this type of behavior going on. Is there a way to anonymously report the problem higher up the system?

[DevilBoy]

Our library has a policy of no cursing or foul langauge.

Unfortunately, everytime any one tries to enforce the rules the patron complains and the managers tell us not to enforce the rules.
...one guy was cursing out a situation (like he couldn't find a book, and was cursing) and I told him I would help him if he would stop cursing. He still cursed, because it's his "right" and the manager told me the guy was agitated because he couldn't find the book, so I should antagonize him by telling him not to curse.

It hurts my head when my brain tries to process irony that thick.

[depechemodefan]

Opps, sorry devilboy. It should read

and the manager told me the guy was agitated because he couldn't find the book, so I should antagonizen't him by telling him not to curse.

I fixed that in the original post.

Unless you are refuring to the fact that the managers don't want us to adhere to policy because it makes the customers upset, though if we don't adhere to policy it makes customers upset.

[DevilBoy]

Opps, sorry devilboy. It should read

I fixed that in the original post.

Unless you are refuring to the fact that the managers don't want us to adhere to policy because it makes the customers upset, though if we don't adhere to policy it makes customers upset.

Hehe, I didn't even notice that.

I was talking about having rules and policies, making certain that management ensures all employees are aware of said rules and policies... and then ordering employees to disregard and not enforce those rules and policies.