He's in love...with porn

[Phone Jockey]

Customer: I got a cable box & I really like it.
Me: OK…
Customer: I mean I reeeeeeeally like it! I’m in looooooooooooove.
Me: All right…
Customer: But… I ordered some things I don’t want my grandma to know about.
Me: Aha.
Customer: Can you just bill ME for those 2 things?
Me: No, we can’t split the bill that way.
Customer: Aw man…she’s gonna kick my ass!

[Mr. Rude]

LMAO!!! Now THAT is funny....Impending asskicking

[Phone Jockey]

Well, not everyone is smart enough to be discreet!

[ArenaBoy]

Wow, ordering porn when one's grandma is living with the customer. Stupidity at its finest.

[Tito]

At least he did not try blaming you for the impending ass kicking.

[Phone Jockey]

Wow, ordering porn when one's grandma is living with the customer. Stupidity at its finest.

HE was living with HER. That's the quality of dumbass I was dealing with. He was ordering "racy movies" in HER home. If I were grandma, I'd definitely kick his ass!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

And away goes my brain again, escaped out my nose to go play in traffic...

[Becks]

And here I thought he was lusting after the cable box itself.

[ArenaBoy]

HE was living with HER. That's the quality of dumbass I was dealing with.

Even stupider, I misread it and now I am hoping that grandma gives the proper punishment to that idiot.

[erik316wttn]

Maybe he was the son of my DVD player guy. (see the latest comic if you don't know what I'm talking about).

[protege]

HE was living with HER. That's the quality of dumbass I was dealing with. He was ordering "racy movies" in HER home. If I were grandma, I'd definitely kick his ass!

My grandmother is nearly 90, has difficulty getting around....yet she could kick my ass

[phillippbo]

Well, it could have been worse. At least he owned up to ordering them, not like the 90% of customers that I get (it should be noted that the system tracks which box it was ordered on, whether or not it was ordered from the customer's end or if we put the order in, and what date and time the ordered movie played - we also never, and I mean NEVER, order dirty movies for a customer):

"There's no way that little Timmy ordered that!"
(Note that "little" Timmy is 16 years old, the cable box is in his room, and all of the movies were ordered from Timmy's box and either ordered in the wee hours of the AM or during the day when the customer admitted they were at work.)

"Nobody here watches such filth!"
(I would think someone does.)

"It must have been a billing mistake! I'll bet they were supposed to go onto someone else's account!"
(Yeah, right, we're hoping to shame you into paying more money because we're too chicken to actually just raise the rates. Or we know the customer that ordered them won't pay for them and we were hoping to recoup our losses. Note that it's not possible for this to happen.)

"Nobody was home on that day!"
(You mean to tell me that someone broke into your house, did it so carefully that there was no sign of forced entry, and yet all they did was order dirty movies? That's got to be the nicest burgler I've ever heard of.)

"Well, I know *I* don't watch stuff like that, so you can just remove it now."
(Yeah, right, okay. *You* might not, but *somebody* in your house does, and did. I have the record right in front of me.)

"I refuse to pay for them!"
(Alright, do that for long enough and we will refuse to provide you with further services.)

And on and on. The best customers I get for things like this are the ones that find out the day and the time it played, and say "I'm going to kill/hurt/maim/destroy/whatever him/her!" I guess I was just raised differently than most because if I saw such a thing on my bill (and I had children of a certain age - which I don't, but might one day), I'd confirm it with the company, then my response would be the same as the best customers say, which is how I know my parents would have responded. I guess that's the difference between those to take responsibility for their actions and those who always find someone or something else to blame for their problems.

Sheesh.

[repsac]

bet he goes to get the mail for the next few runs, in an attempt to field that bill before she sees it.

[TNT]

"Nobody was home on that day!"
(You mean to tell me that someone broke into your house, did it so carefully that there was no sign of forced entry, and yet all they did was order dirty movies? That's got to be the nicest burgler I've ever heard of.)

Someone actually used that defense on me back when I worked in satellite. "My husband and I think someone's breaking into our house and ordering these wrestling pay per views. When we come home, there's no sign anyone's been in the house, but we just have this feeling someone's been there watching wrestling."

Best excuse about porn came from the woman who said, "I'd never order any of those PPVs. Honestly, your porn sucks. I only watch the real hardcore stuff, so I know I didn't order any of these."