Putting the high in higher education

[Crow The Robot]

When I was at college I worked at the library on campus, the job was better then WM or the rest stop but I did get some wackos.

Great Parenting I:
I am shelving books, and a lady comes up to me and garbs on to my book cart and we have the following discussion.

IP: Idiot Parent
Me:

IP; Do you go to school here?
Me: Yes ma'am.
IP; Can you help me with something?
Me; I'll try.
IP: write my daughter's report.
Me: Sorry, can't do that.
IP: She's not a student here she goes to <local junior high school> she has to have a three to five page paper on great white sharks done by Monday.
Me: Well, if you need help finding books I can...
IP: Damnit just write the damn paper!
Me: That would be wrong. Sorry.
IP; Hmph I know you are just refusing because it'll get in the way of you doing drugs. Well, now she'll fail I hope that makes you feel better druggie.

DUUUDE!
CD: conspiracy dude
Me: me

Me (answereing phone ) Hello library.
CD: Duuude! NASA faked the moon landing!
me: sir..?
CD: Duude, it's part of a conspiracy, dude, it's just like why there are no Taco bells down here, duuude.
me: ...
CD: You're part of the establishment, you're stealing my brainwaves. That's a crime dude!<click>
Me:

late book fines=Stalin
FD= fine dope
me: me, again

FD: I got these fines. (Throws card at me)
Me: (looks up his record) Ah. The book you have is over due all you have to do is return it, and pay the fine and you'll be okay.\
FD: I need that book, man.
Me: well, you can renew it.
FD: I ain't doin' sh-t and if you try and make me pay fines I'll call Amnesty International. You all are like Stalin, you damn fascists.

Great Parenting II
Again i am shelving books , and again a woman approaches me,
IP2: idiot parent 2
me:

IP2: Young man write my daughter's essay.
Me; Ma'am?
IP2: My daughter has cheerleading, soccer student council and honor society.
Me: I can't do that.
IP2: My daughter is smarter than you and there is no way i am letting my pricess to waste her time on this sh-t. I am a patron of this library and you will do what I say or I will have you fired.
Me: sorry ma'am but writing your daughters paper for her would be dishonest.
IP2: F-ck you druggie!! I hope you get hurt I am a nurse if you get hurt we'll see who needs who's help then!! Lazy b-stard!!

[Chanlin]

If it wouldn't get me in trouble as well I would just write the paper for those idiot parents and then tell the instructor

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

If Princess Cheerleader Soccer Chick is so smart, why does she need Mommy to beg Library workers to write her report?

Good Lord, I hope you don't have requests like that often. How do you keep from letting a pile of books drop from the top shelf and putting you out of your misery?

[Crazeyal]

...

I've seen EW, Mean SOBs', and outright LOONS... But an arrogant psychopathic NURSE?!?!?

Homeopathic from now on!!!

[Aethian]

I would have written it and then in the middle of some paragraph says that Mom paid me ten bucks to write the report so that her daughter didn't have learn the work. Oh wait...I have done that.

[XXDarrienX]

I would have written it and then in the middle of some paragraph says that Mom paid me ten bucks to write the report so that her daughter didn't have learn the work. Oh wait...I have done that.

I would love to hear how that turned out.

[Bramblerose]

so what are you doing with all teh extra brain waves you've been sucking off people?

so if you are too ethical to help my EW in training cheat, you must be on drugs. ?!?!?!

[malmalthekiller]

I would love to hear how that turned out.

Oh god, me too. I want to hear the rest of it.

I can't believe a mother would do that. I've heard of mother's doing their own children's homework (not mine, she's not an idiot), but to demand someone else write it? How insane.

[KhirasHY]

I would have written it and then in the middle of some paragraph says that Mom paid me ten bucks to write the report so that her daughter didn't have learn the work. Oh wait...I have done that.

Heh Aethian, that's perfect You know they wouldn't have proof read it before turning it in either, so having the paper come back with a nice, juicy goose egg would've been a thing of beauty. Smiling at them in evil joy when they came to yell about it would've been particularly gratifying as well.

"Aww...did Princess learn that having other people do everything for her makes her look like a complete idiot? What a shame."

[RetailWorkhorse]

DUUUDE!
CD: conspiracy dude
Me: me

Me (answereing phone ) Hello library.
CD: Duuude! NASA faked the moon landing!
me: sir..?
CD: Duude, it's part of a conspiracy, dude, it's just like why there are no Taco bells down here, duuude.
me: ...
CD: You're part of the establishment, you're stealing my brainwaves. That's a crime dude!<click>
Me:

I have GOT to stop calling libraries when I'm tired.

I would have written it and then in the middle of some paragraph says that Mom paid me ten bucks to write the report so that her daughter didn't have learn the work. Oh wait...I have done that.

Share. Share now. Please.

[TheSnakeLady]

Doesn't surprise me. I TA for a college course atm, and I've seen a student turn in an essay that was 96% plagarized (and that's just what the software found, the few parts that weren't highlighted probably came out of something not in the DB). I've seen a student turn in an essay, get told it's plagarized and he needs to do his own work, and then he turns in a second essay that's ALSO plagarized. Did I mention that the essay was required due to his cheating on a test?

[mharbourgirl]

DUUUDE!
CD: conspiracy dude
Me: me

Me (answereing phone ) Hello library.
CD: Duuude! NASA faked the moon landing!
me: sir..?
CD: Duude, it's part of a conspiracy, dude, it's just like why there are no Taco bells down here, duuude.
me: ...
CD: You're part of the establishment, you're stealing my brainwaves. That's a crime dude!<click>
Me:

hoshit. Hey, GK! Looks like Uncle Vick DID spawn at some point. Or he's found a kindred spirit to take over the phones while he sleeps. Either way...

[Dilorenzo]

These stories make my brain cry for the future of humanity. Partly because of the mothers and their "do my daughters work," but the fascist Stalin bit... ugh...

[jerkface11]

Hey, GK! Looks like Uncle Vick DID spawn at some point.

I too thought of uncle Vick when I read that.

the fascist Stalin bit

At least he wasn't a commie like Hitler.

[SteeleDragon78]

sadly i have written essays for others, but they werent smart enough to read them before turning them in. ever seen a teachers face when trying to read l337? especially when its supposed to be a french essay? that was a b**ch to translate.