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I live and work down south. Middle of South Carolina. Being a former Long Island boy, and a former OTR Trucker, I'm used to dealing with driving. Right now I'm not exactly driving in the lap of luxury..
NOT
BY A
LONGSHOT
The particular customer is only due for quarterly inspections, and it's a good thing, because they are about 50 miles away from Myrtle Beach.. And the remote location dries up to a single lane highway after about 100 miles... Given that I have a brick with the word "rubber-like" for a seat cushion, it's a long, boring and painful ride down there. Needless to say, when I go to that hospital, IT'S AN ALL DAY AFFAIR!!
Thankfully I haven't had any breakdowns or pieces falling off the damn truck for a while. The client calls for service about a non-functional door. Pretty straightforward... (Yeah.. Alarm bells went off in *MY* head too...)
Get there, and long story short, other subcontractors cut power to the door when they moved equipment. The area is for preemies and newborns, and the Hospital has a baby monitor alarm system set up. Apparently it malfunctioned a LOT, because the other company moved the sensors 50 feet up the hallway and removed two keypads entirely. One look at this situation and I knew the fix immediately. The "other guys" cut power to the door. Just gotta find the power line and re-run it, plug it back in, or replace the power supply. No biggie...
Ever see the "I love Lucy" closets that dump ten times more junk than could POSSIBLY fit into a broom closet, and somehow ONE PingPong ball lands in an empty coffee can??
Yeah...
Moved ONE ceiling tile and about 30 pounds of cut wiring bashes me in the face.
NONE of it marked. Door's dead, no power, no juice on ANY of the 10 - 15 different ends I check. Ask maintenance where the power supply is.. YOU GUESSED IT.. Duhhhhhhhhhhhh I just fix doorknobs.. I don't know nuthin bout no compeyoooters
Cue two and a half hours of up the ladder, down the ladder... move the ladder for the garbage cart. up the ladder, down the ladder... move the ladder for the pacing pregnant lady...up the ladder, down the ladder... Move the ladder for the RETURNING pregnant lady.. etc etc
Find the power. Reconnect the power.. Turn the access control swipe back on.. repair the motion detector for the way OUT annnnnnnnd "Hey Nurse.. anything else I need to fix??"
You people are soooooooooooo smart!!!!
Duhhhhhhhhhhhh I just fix doorknobs.. catch babies...I don't know nuthin bout no compeyoooters (Same inflection, same vacant look, her mustache was a BIT thicker...)
"Uh.. is there anything you USUALLY use, FOR-THE-DOOR, that isn't working...??"
Duhhhhhhhhhhhh MISS NANCY!!! He's askin me to do his job for him!!!
You did NOT just try and report me to your BOSS for asking you a QUESTION!! IMPOSSIBLE!! oh.. you were joking... (note question not answered but fat ass swivels through doorway and scars yet another infant for life! Seriously.. How can they let JABBA THE NURSE get close to newborns?!? Isn't there some sort of OMGWTFISTHAT meter they measure against so little humans DON'T go through life thinking that it's cool to have CHEETOS for blood?!?!?)
So.. I finally get the supervisor, after Jabba waddles off (while again "Joking" that I'm trying to leave!!") "Is everything working???!"
Simple enough question... right?!?!
With a nod of the head and a smile given to me by multiple nurses for "FINALLY" fixing their door, I start packing up. The cleanup takes a bit long, but I have the "Nice" nurses offering me sodas and thanking me (again), so it's pleasant. I do a double check, because this place is FAR.. and I don't want to come back for silly (lazy-ass me) reasons. Get the Supevisor back and have her check her card.. BAM! opens.. Have her walk to the out door, BAM! opens! DONE!!!
*sigh*
Of course, all hell breaks loose.
NOT
BY A
LONGSHOT
The particular customer is only due for quarterly inspections, and it's a good thing, because they are about 50 miles away from Myrtle Beach.. And the remote location dries up to a single lane highway after about 100 miles... Given that I have a brick with the word "rubber-like" for a seat cushion, it's a long, boring and painful ride down there. Needless to say, when I go to that hospital, IT'S AN ALL DAY AFFAIR!!
Thankfully I haven't had any breakdowns or pieces falling off the damn truck for a while. The client calls for service about a non-functional door. Pretty straightforward... (Yeah.. Alarm bells went off in *MY* head too...)
Get there, and long story short, other subcontractors cut power to the door when they moved equipment. The area is for preemies and newborns, and the Hospital has a baby monitor alarm system set up. Apparently it malfunctioned a LOT, because the other company moved the sensors 50 feet up the hallway and removed two keypads entirely. One look at this situation and I knew the fix immediately. The "other guys" cut power to the door. Just gotta find the power line and re-run it, plug it back in, or replace the power supply. No biggie...
Ever see the "I love Lucy" closets that dump ten times more junk than could POSSIBLY fit into a broom closet, and somehow ONE PingPong ball lands in an empty coffee can??
Yeah...
Moved ONE ceiling tile and about 30 pounds of cut wiring bashes me in the face.
NONE of it marked. Door's dead, no power, no juice on ANY of the 10 - 15 different ends I check. Ask maintenance where the power supply is.. YOU GUESSED IT.. Duhhhhhhhhhhhh I just fix doorknobs.. I don't know nuthin bout no compeyoootersCue two and a half hours of up the ladder, down the ladder... move the ladder for the garbage cart. up the ladder, down the ladder... move the ladder for the pacing pregnant lady...up the ladder, down the ladder... Move the ladder for the RETURNING pregnant lady.. etc etc
Find the power. Reconnect the power.. Turn the access control swipe back on.. repair the motion detector for the way OUT annnnnnnnd "Hey Nurse.. anything else I need to fix??"
You people are soooooooooooo smart!!!!
Duhhhhhhhhhhhh I just
"Uh.. is there anything you USUALLY use, FOR-THE-DOOR, that isn't working...??"Duhhhhhhhhhhhh MISS NANCY!!! He's askin me to do his job for him!!!
You did NOT just try and report me to your BOSS for asking you a QUESTION!! IMPOSSIBLE!! oh.. you were joking... (note question not answered but fat ass swivels through doorway and scars yet another infant for life! Seriously.. How can they let JABBA THE NURSE get close to newborns?!? Isn't there some sort of OMGWTFISTHAT meter they measure against so little humans DON'T go through life thinking that it's cool to have CHEETOS for blood?!?!?)
So.. I finally get the supervisor, after Jabba waddles off (while again "Joking" that I'm trying to leave!!") "Is everything working???!"
Simple enough question... right?!?!
With a nod of the head and a smile given to me by multiple nurses for "FINALLY" fixing their door, I start packing up. The cleanup takes a bit long, but I have the "Nice" nurses offering me sodas and thanking me (again), so it's pleasant. I do a double check, because this place is FAR.. and I don't want to come back for silly (lazy-ass me) reasons. Get the Supevisor back and have her check her card.. BAM! opens.. Have her walk to the out door, BAM! opens! DONE!!!
*sigh*
Of course, all hell breaks loose.
I hop up an down, set off the exit motion, unlock the door and smoothly do a half-bow to the expectant mom with a flourished sweep of my arm to grant entrance
)
THEN he added that it would probably be the NATIONAL GUARD, not the cops...
Guess who gets phone calls for help on a brand of equipment which we do not sell nor service. 
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