Pies, Drunk Girls and Children

[customersruinmylife]

Oh the joys of people drinking at Christmas!

I'm a critic!!

Our supplies have been a bit low recently. They always are on the run up to Christmas, which means we are frequently running out of things. This lady came along.

SC: Hi there, I would like to order steak and kidney pie.
Me: I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we are all out of the pie.
SC: OK, what is your alternative?
Me: OK, well I can recommend the cajjun chicken. I quite like that.
SC: I don't want that! I want a pie! What alternative pie do you have?
Me: Well...we don't. We are all out of pie.
SC: You HAVE to have an alternative pie.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't.
SC: You HAVE to! I know! It's the law that you have to provide an alternative to EVERYTHING on your menu.
Me: I don't think that's true...
SC: It is! I know! I'm in the business as well you know! I write reviews!
Me: OK, but we are still out of pie.
SC: So you are not giving me an alternative?
Me: No.
SC: Fine. I'll have the cajjun chicken, but I am going to write the most damning review of this place!
Me: I look forward to reading it.

Yeah bitch. I look forward to reading your next "review" No doubt it'll probably be some whiny blog on myspace.

I'll wait for you!!

A drunk girl was wandering around the bar, and it was so obvious she was trying to pick a fight with someone. She was going up to large groups of student girls, and purposely barging into them, shrieking "Watch what you're fucking doing!" each time, hoping to get a response.

I was pissed off.

Her boyfriend came up to the bar.

SC: Two double vodka red bulls.
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't want your girlfriend in here anymore. She's obviously drunk and trying to start a fight.
SC: What?! That's ridiculous! Give me what I asked for now!
Me: No. I'm sorry, you will be getting no more service in here tonight.
SC: Look, she's only behaving like that because she's wasted.
Me: And giving her a double vodka red bull will help her sober up?
SC: Don't talk to me like that.
Me: OK. But you are still not getting served.
SC: You're a fucking dick! Just you wait until this place closes! I'm going to wait all night! I've got all night! I'll wait for you! Me and you, outside, when this place closes.
Me: I look forward to it. Wait outside.
SC: I will pal! Just you wait!

It was four hours before we closed. Ten minutes later, he lost patience and left.

Order earlier next time!

A guy comes in and orders a medium rare steak, three minutes before we stop serving food. The kitchen had been dead all night, virtually nothing was going out. So the kitchen was as good as closed. All they had to do was mop the floor and they were off home.

So, they were not impressed when a steak came through. But they made it anyway. It was good, nothing wrong with it. They sent it out (whilst also mopping the floor) and that was it. They were off home.

TWENTY minutes after the customer gets his meal, he wants to complain.

SC: This steak is too well done for me. I want a new one.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but the kitchen is closed now. The staff have gone home for the day. I can't get you a new steak, but I am more than happy to give you a refund if it is not to your liking.
SC: I'd rather have a new one.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that at this time.
SC: Fine, I'll take the refund, but I don't understand why I can't just get a new one.

Yeah idiot. The times we serve food are pasted everywhere. We serve food ten hours a day, and you had to wait until three minutes before the end for a steak? Then wait TWENTY minutes to discover it wasn't to your liking? There was no way I was firing up the grills just to make you a new one.

Little Children

I am now a firm believer that the drinking age in the UK should be raised from 18 to 21. Because these people drinking in the bar were not adults. They were children.

They looked very young, so we asked them all for I.D. All checked it, it was actually an eighteenth birthday party. Everything was fine, until I went over to clear their table.

The birthday boy was passed out in the corner, sitting in a pile of his own vomit.

Me: Right, how long has he been like that?!
Kid: About five minutes.
Me: Right, I'm calling a cab. Take him home.
Kid: What? Can't you just throw him out?
Me: No! If I throw him out and he gets run over, that's me getting arrested for invoulentrary manslaughter. He's either going home in a cab or the back of a police van. Chose.
Kid: Fine, we'll take him.

I threw a cloth at them.

Me: And clean him up.
Kid: I don't see why we should have to look after him. It's so unfair!

They really were good friends.

[ano]

what a bunch of maroons!

your posts are one of the main reasons i frequent this site...

[cawaker]

Being in the US, trust me, raising the drinking age by 3 years isnt gonna change a damn thing. They might be 21 but they are still gonna act like drunktards.

[Bloodsoul]

They might be any age but they are still gonna act like drunktards.

Fix'd.

And the idea of "sitting in his own vomit" is creating too literal an image in my head...

[PizzaDrone]

I hate kids like that. If you can't control your drink, drink in your own house. That's what I did when I was discovering my limits. If my friends ever suggested that I be thrown out I'd be ready to go at them the next day like a breezeblock of pain.

I've never heard of an alternative to everything on a menu....it wouldn't be a menu really if that's the case. It does kind of remind me about a woman not so long ago being told we were out of something, looking at the menu for ages, only to throw it at me afterwards in a giant sulk. Seriously, how hard is it to just find something else? I mean, I'm a vegetarian, which means my options are quite limited anyways, but you just find something else. People who get into tantrums about such little things need to just stay at home.

[Bramblerose]

trhere an alternative to any menu item. it's call the rest of the menu.

Steak guy- advice from the US- the minute the steak plate hits the table, slice teh thing and check for doness. It just makes everyone happier.

The last- I wish you could have recorded that and sent the tape home with teh birthday boy. It's always good to know who isn't your friend.

[bainsidhe]

Ah, whatta title! And the woman with the menu, you might've asked her "Would it help if I served you chicken and called it pie?" Sorry, couldn't resist

[aurelemsrealm]

It doesn't matter what age drunks are. Most of them are still asses when they drink. Don't get me wrong, I like my beer as much as anyone, but I'm responsible enough to drink sensibly. I usually buy a case and do my drinking at home, for starters. On the rare occasion that I go out for a drink, I make sure I have a designated driver. My main reason to drink is that it helps me sleep, so I only down a few beers before I'm ready to go to bed and sleep it off. I guess I'm weird because I never did understand why some people want to go out and get so plastered, puking drunk that they don't know where they are or what they are doing, and they don't remember it the next day.

[depechemodefan]

SC: I don't want that! I want a pie!

For some reason I'm imagining Cartman.

SC: Look, she's only behaving like that because she's wasted.
Me: And giving her a double vodka red bull will help her sober up?

SC: This steak is too well done for me. I want a new one.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, but the kitchen is closed now. The staff have gone home for the day. I can't get you a new steak, but I am more than happy to give you a refund if it is not to your liking.
SC: I'd rather have a new one.
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that at this time.
SC: Fine, I'll take the refund, but I don't understand why I can't just get a new one.

It's just sad that he doesn't get that there is no one left to cook him a new steak. I'm surprised he didn't complain that it was cold. Unless he likes cold steak. Though if I were in your situation, I would be trying hard not to suggest that he get his mom to cook him a new steak.

The birthday boy was passed out in the corner, sitting in a pile of his own vomit.

I think 20 years from now they will look back at this and laugh.

I never did understand why some people want to go out and get so plastered, puking drunk that they don't know where they are or what they are doing, and they don't remember it the next day.

They are thinking that they won't be so drunk that they are vomiting and can't remember what is going on the next time they go get plastered. Moron. This reminds me of a Simpson's ep. where Homer gets drunk and embarreses Marge. I remember that in Homer's brain he thinks he's being sophisticated, while in real life he's ogling Mrs. Flander's cleavage.

[ExiledV20]

Yeah bitch. I look forward to reading your next "review" No doubt it'll probably be some whiny blog on myspace.

I am infinitely amused when bloggers assume that we employees care about their blog. To those who have been on the internet for years, it's just freaking hy-larious. And what, exactly, is Mr Blog going to do against Mighty Mo The Megacorp?

Me: And clean him up.
Kid: I don't see why we should have to look after him. It's so unfair!

*channeling the voice of Darkness from Legend*
As the Princess Bride says, "Life isn't fair; it's just fairer than death, is all."

[blas]

There really is no difference between drunk 18 year olds and drunk 21 year olds. Hell, actually....there's really no difference between drunk 21 year olds and drunk 31 year olds.

[PepperElf]

SC: You HAVE to! I know! It's the law that you have to provide an alternative to EVERYTHING on your menu.

Ok. Prove it!

[Calud]

Oh the joys of people drinking at Christmas!

I'm a critic!!

Our supplies have been a bit low recently. They always are on the run up to Christmas, which means we are frequently running out of things. This lady came along.

SC: Hi there, I would like to order steak and kidney pie.
Me: I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid we are all out of the pie.
SC: OK, what is your alternative?
Me: OK, well I can recommend the cajjun chicken. I quite like that.
SC: I don't want that! I want a pie! What alternative pie do you have?
Me: Well...we don't. We are all out of pie.
SC: You HAVE to have an alternative pie.
Me: I'm sorry, but we don't.
SC: You HAVE to! I know! It's the law that you have to provide an alternative to EVERYTHING on your menu.
Me: I don't think that's true...
SC: It is! I know! I'm in the business as well you know! I write reviews!
Me: OK, but we are still out of pie.
SC: So you are not giving me an alternative?
Me: No.
SC: Fine. I'll have the cajjun chicken, but I am going to write the most damning review of this place!
Me: I look forward to reading it.

Yeah bitch. I look forward to reading your next "review" No doubt it'll probably be some whiny blog on myspace.

I guess the part of the bar that was directly in front of here face was out of air then?

[Lace Neil Singer]

I used to go out on the piss and get plastered. However, I always knew my limits; once I'd had enough, I went home. I never stayed out drinking until I was throwing up; I just don't see the attraction of walking home covered in your own vomit. o_O

[Mike Taylor]

Being in the US, trust me, raising the drinking age by 3 years isn't gonna change a damn thing. They might be 21 but they are still gonna act like drunktards.

Where I lived, raising the drinking age did wonders for adults trying to shop or otherwise entertain themselves on a Friday or Saturday night. It took the beer and booze out of the hands of the high schoolers that were getting drunk in the shopping center parking lots and making general asses out of themselves. If you were 21+ in my hometown, you were either off at college (and getting drunk there), in the service, or worked a job where you couldn't afford to get trashed every weekend.

The dark side of this is that underaged drinking eventually ended up taking place within parents' homes, especially those parents who had "issues" (to put it nicely), under the mistaken belief that it was okay within the privacy of their home.