In one ear...

[Nurian]

What is it about being a stock boy that meant people didn't listen to you?

Anyone home?

I was walking through the store, going to get a pickup when a woman stopped me. Keep in mind, the only thing that designates me as a store employee is my name tag. Since I worked in the back, I wore plain clothes.

CUST: Young Man, I need your help.
ME: Umm...I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I'm not a sales associate. If you like, I can go get one for you.
CUST: That's nice, dear. It's over here.
ME: (Bemused, I walk with her. Maybe she just needs help lifting something.)
CUST: (She takes me to where some items are in a case. I don't have the keys) I need one of these.
ME: Alright, let me get someone to help you. I don't have the keys for this.
CUST: I need the white one.
ME: Okay, make sure you tell them that. (I start to walk away)
CUST: Wait, where are you going?
ME: Like I said, Ma'am, I don't have the keys as I'm not a sales associate.
CUST: (huffy) Well, why didn't you tell me that before?
ME:

Sorry, I left my extra muscles in my other pants

On my way back to the stock room, a guy flags me down.

CUST: Excuse me, Sir! Can you help me lift something?
ME: (Aha! Something I can do!) Certainly, Sir. What do you need?
CUST: It's over here. (He leads me to some very nice hardwood dining tables and points to a particularly large one) I need that one.
ME: (looks down at my impressive flab boy build) Alright, Sir. Stay here a sec, I'll get a jack and someone to help me.
CUST: Huh? Why?
ME: (Because I maybe have 50 lbs over it) Well, it's heavy and cumbersome. I won't be a minute.
CUST: Can't you just lift it?
ME: (No, Sir. Arnold left yesterday and stole all of our Bovine Growth Hormone. We expect to get more soon.) I'm afraid not. I need help. I'll be right back.
CUST: What if I help you carry it?
ME: (I'd loooooooooooove to see he look on my manager's face if I let him do that. Be really funny right before he fired me.) No, sir. I need a jack as well. I'll be right back. (walk away)

[depechemodefan]

This is what SCs hear when you talk: oh, you are so wonderful and beautiful and let me bend over backwards for your luscious self!
or usually:
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

SCs never listen:
Me: Now don't press enter because you have to...
SC: *pressed enter*

[Moggie]

ME: (No, Sir. Arnold left yesterday and stole all of our Bovine Growth Hormone. We expect to get more soon.)

Can you call me when you get more in? I can think of all kinds of fun holiday uses for that stuff!

[Mr Hero]

In one ear and out the other. Nothing to block traffic

[Snowbird]

The first SC might have been hard of hearing, but I'd lean more towards being too wrapped up in the 'it's all about me' bubble to hear anything that would contradict their instant gratification.

Speaking of which, sounds like that last was the case with the second man. What the heck, he wants to risk a herniated disc or other niceties just so that he won't have to wait two minutes? What does he do when he wants a bag of microwave popcorn? Eat the butter-goo slathered kernels?

[KabeRinnaul]

What does he do when he wants a bag of microwave popcorn? Eat the butter-goo slathered kernels?

I've considered it , on occasion. But then again, I'm a college student.

And then I remember that I buy store brand, and it's a rare event the stuff isn't awful.

[malmalthekiller]

When you get stuck on a register that the screen doesn't write on for credit card transactions...

Three hundred times a day:
*Customer slides their card*
Me: Ok ma'am, now the screen doesn't write, I have to print out a slip for you to sign. *turns around to get slip*
*Customer is stabbing the screen with the fake pen*
Me: *ahem* the SCREEN DOESN'T WORK.
SC: Excuse me, the screen doesn't seem to be working.
Me: *Shoves slip and pen at them*
SC: OH.

[wagegoth]

I worked in a Housewares department many, many years ago. I'm 5'8" and pretty strong, especially at that time, having grown up in a rural area caring for horses, cows, all kinds of animals, gardening and chopping wood. However, expecting me to carry a full, boxed set of Calphalon to your car is completely out of line.

[Calud]

I usually have to be very careful when wording my responses to my customers.

For example, saying: "Please don't close the ticket." Will ultimately lead to them closing the ticket, because the word close was in the sentence. Saying, please leave the ticket open, has a 80% chance of success.