No fish for you...

[Aethian]

After reading this thread I was reminded of a time when I was working at the service desk of Meijer's. it was in the middle of the summer and there were kids running about the store because of some strange thing. Honestly in the two years prior I hadn't seen so many kids running around. But this story isn't about them...it's about a set of twins that were standing with one pissed off Mommy and looking like she had just ruined Christmas, Easter, Birthday's, and every other major kid holiday.

In a cart that Mom is pushing is one of the biggest tanks we sold at the time including special rocks, decorations, high end filters, the whole shebang. And a reciept dated four hours prior, everything was coming back....just over 500 dollars worth.

It turned out that Mom and Dad wanted to make a special project for their set of twins. Between the two bedrooms they had cut out a hole that the major sized tank was going to be placed. And the four kids would have a night lite plus have pets that they all seemed to want. But there was a little catch, Dad had to take Mom to a conference so the kids were going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. If they were good they could help set up the tank, give it it's week, and then go to a certain high end store for the fancy fish.

But the kids weren't good...in fact Grandma had gotten sent to the hospital because the little darlings somehow helped in her breaking her leg. There were holes in the walls, and paint on the Grandparents car. While I was being told the story loudly and for everyone in line to hear the kids had to hand over the fish equipment themselves. It hurt me to have to take the items from them but Mom was trying to hit the point home hard that they screwed up.

All together after they dissapeared back into the store I found out from other customers that the Mom was telling everyone she could on how badly her kids had acted. It only ended when one set of the twins had to hold each other from all the crying.

Honestly I think Mom went a little far at the time and was ready to help hand over her information to management to call CPS but now that I'm a little older... I have a feeling those kids never messed up like that again.

[derangedperson]

WOW.

She may have gone a bit too far in telling everyone in the store how bad the kids were, but that's something that stays with you. Those kids'll definitely think twice before pulling shit like that again.

And odds are that there's still an empty space in between their bedrooms where a big ol' fishtank should be.

[LingualMonkey]

Extreme? Sure--but...Grandma broke her leg and the kids punched holes in the wall and got paint on the car?

Jeez...if that had been me as a kid, I'd have been pilloried. And if I were the parent, my kids would be spending a few nights sleeping on the roof.

[PepperElf]

Personally, I applaud the parents for their decision. And I don't feel they were wrong or even abusive for it.

From what I'm reading... they clearly told the children, "you have to behave for your grandparents if you want this treat." And when the kids GROSSLY misbehaved they had to face the consequences of their actions... by returning the goodies to the store themselves.

They broke their grandmother's leg, put paint on the car and holes in the wall. Damn straight that $500 tank is going back to the store! Mom and Dad have to pay for all of that damage.

And sure they cried ... but... since they already showed they can't be responsible enough to not damage things they don't own... obviously they're not going to be responsible enough to take care of the new multi-room fish tank either.


The only thing I think the parents did wrong... they should have waited to cut the hole in the wall until after the "trial week".

But making the kids turn the items back in themselves? It's part of learning that your actions have consequences. And that when Mom and Dad say "behave or you won't get this" they really mean it.


Kudos to them for standing up. (hell... i think even john rosemond would approve)

and i hope grandma healed quickly. i doubt the woman deserved any of the shit she went through.

[Nurian]

Those kids got off easy and should be glad of the parents they have.

The parents were willing to drop $500 for them on pets that (forgive me, fish lovers) are more decorative than anything.
When they did this horrendous thing, the worst they got (based on this) was a public humiliation and the hard task of returning the tank.

I've parents that would throw their kids across stores for the slightest error. I've heard parents berate and belittle their kids for not living up to the "perfect child" public image. And all those ominous stories about kids that fall down stairs and hit their faces on doorknobs...

I'll say that the parents were right and that their punishment certainly fit the crime. I just wonder if lack of discipline which caused this whole thing and a woman to go to the hospital, or if was a random event. Who knows?

[Imogene]

All together after they dissapeared back into the store I found out from other customers that the Mom was telling everyone she could on how badly her kids had acted.

This is the part that disturbs me... Mom decided it wasn't enough to make the kids return the parts themselves, she has to tell everyone that they weren't good enough for the fish? That seems a bit out of line. Especially if it didn't stop until someone started crying.

[RetailKate]

Maaaaaaan.....My mom used to do this. It drove me up and down a wall. I would be standing there knowing full well I messed up, and here's my mom pulling people she knows over to the side so she could loudly tell them what I pulled and then they would always always feel they needed to lean down to me and in equally loud and dissaproving voices tell me what I had just done wrong and how bad of a child I was for putting my mother through that. Then they would stand back up and gripe in front of me how much of a horrible child I was and how I should be beaten daily with a stick for how bad I was.

Unfortunatly it kinda backfired for my parents. They did it so much that I stopped carring when they tried to use it on me. And eventually it just turned into ,
Mom - "You were bad! I'm going to tell everyone!"
Me - "So? That gonna make you feel better? Gonna feel like a big grown up now?"

I grew out of it later but every time I hear stories like this I wonder if those kids will start acting the same way I did, where they don't care because they hear it way to much for it to stay an honest punishment.
For the record though, I never broke anyones leg, got paint on a car, or punched a hole through the wall. All my trangresions where more, I flunked a test, didn't clean my room, was a smart alec.

[wagegoth]

For the severity of the kids' behavior, I would go with the Mom and Dad doing the right thing. If the damage was limited to holes in the walls and paint in the car, then returning everything with the kids in tow would, to me, be enough. But Grandma breaking her leg puts the kids right into suffering without mercy time, which includes telling the world what horrible things these children did.

FTR, I'm a mom of two boys.

[Thatgirl71]

Extreme? Sure--but...Grandma broke her leg and the kids punched holes in the wall and got paint on the car?

Jeez...if that had been me as a kid, I'd have been pilloried. And if I were the parent, my kids would be spending a few nights sleeping on the roof.

I agree, my parents would have totally freaked out on me. That poor grandma. I don't that sorry for those kids.

[tamezin]

Honestly I think Mom went a little far at the time and was ready to help hand over her information to management to call CPS but now that I'm a little older... I have a feeling those kids never messed up like that again.

Part of this depends on how old the kids are right, but over all I am thinking YAY mom. I wish my husband would get this concept. My son is having serious issues with accountability because there is a Cave in my house named Dad.

[Hyndis]

Damn those kids got off easy!

An ego is a fragile thing, easily damaged but also quick to heal. By driving the point home in such a brutal manner I think the kids will always remember that causing that much mayhem always comes with consequences. Severe ones!

[PepperElf]

I told Mom about this.

After being horrified at the girls' actions... she felt that the parents should

1) Have the girls take care of Grandma... clean her house, chores, etc, until Grandma is healed (plus chores at home)

2) take away all of their toys and goodies (Much like what I read in one of John Rosemond's articles) - the second question on the page.

When she is at school one day, remove from the home EVERYTHING that "belongs" to her -- toys, books, nonessential clothing, and so on, from her room.

She comes home from school to a life stripped down to its bare essentials.

In the article he recommended two months, but for this ... longer might be better.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Wanna know something? My mom probably would've done the same thing, and might have told total strangers what a bad boy I'd been.

And she did once. After I spent a day at the county fair misbehaving and acting like a holy terror I was banished to my room for the rest of the night. My grandparents called, and mom told them what I did and called me out of my room and gave me the phone so I could hear my grandparents tell me how disappointed they were in me.

It's called humiliation. It works.

Actually, she probably would've done worse. What I did at the county fair that day pales in comparison to what these two kids did.

[Liminality]

Wow, that's pretty severe but hopefully they'll learn.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

It's called humiliation. It works.

I agree.

Congratulations to the mother. A little "Do you remember what happened LAST TIME we did this?" goes a long way.

If we could only introduce this concept into our law system... a few repeat criminals might think twice if they are treated as such...