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I really hate the day after Christmas, or as some of you call it, "Boxing Day". You know that?
For one thing, it's hellishly busy in the store, since our customers are notoriously cheap as I have told you. Half the store goes on clearance and all the scavengers come out. But corporate goes right into January/February mode when allocating payroll for today and we go back to a skeleton crew.
Result: call boxes go off 3,4 or even 5 times before being responded to, because all the salesfloor people are either busy with other customers or they're backup cashiering, and managers get antsy and Irv runs his little hinder off trying to get to everybody.
On to today's stories.
An hour (or so) in the life of Numbnuts:
(Numbnuts managed to be even more useless today than he normally is. I swear he didn't answer any carryout call until it was repeated 3 times, at least. Times given aren't exact probably, but are as close as I can recall)
10:57 am--Get paged outside to bring in carts. Do not respond.
11:00 am--Go on lunch because the blond girl in electronics you like is going up on her break. Do not tell anybody.
11:03 am--Carryout is paged over the PA.
11:04 am--Carryout page is repeated.
11:06 am--Carryout page repeated again.
11:07 am--And again. Irv is asked by a salesfloor person why he hasn't answered carryout page. When Irv asks were Numbnuts is, he's told Numbnuts took his lunch. Irv is angry.
11:08 am--Carryout page repeated. Irv answers.
11:10 am--Irv delivers a card table set to customer. Customer isn't very happy she had to wait, but doesn't get overly sucky about it.
11:12 am--Irv returns to backroom to resume doing autopulls.
11:35 am--Irv is paged by name to bring in shopping carts from outside. Y'know, the same ones Numbnuts was paged to bring in but did not.
11:36 am--Irv puts on jacket and spends a while bringing in shopping carts, which generally are not returned to the corrals and left loose in the parking lot. Irv must also turn around one of the cart corrals because the snowplow people must've pushed it against another corral so that carts can't be returned inside it. It is a warmish day and snow is melting rapidly, creating a wet slushy mess. The bottoms of Irv's pants, along with his socks and shoes, get soaked.
11:54 am--Irv returns inside store.
11:57 am--Another carryout paged. Irv paged by name to get it. Irv asks salesfloor people if Numbnuts ever returned form lunch. Answer is negative.
11:59 am--A certain co-worker of Numbnuts and CS poster with talent for sarcasm calls the breakroom, asks for Numbnuts to be put on the line, and inquires about Numbnuts' future plans to return to work, if any.
Yes dear friends, Numbnuts took an hour for lunch today. This didn't go unreported to his direct manager.
Another Christmas ruined!
After Christmas has come and gone, to boot!
Fucktard asks Irv for this heated, massaging car seat cushion we had as a seasonal, gift-y item. Irv finds no such cushions anyplace in Hardware, which is where they were located. After all, these cushions were a fairly popular item this year. Irv tells fucktard no more cushions are available, and no raincheck will be issued. Fucktard huffs "I wanted it for Christmas! Now it's ruined!"
Irv would do the Ickey Shuffle or some such celebratory dance, but that would be highly insensitive.
Irv thinks people who get mad because they get a seasonal item after the season has passed are really really stupid.
What's the difference?
Customer: (motioning to two display racks of mostly wall calendars) Are these all the calendars you have?
Me: If you turn the corner here, on the end of the aisle we have some more desk calendars.
Customer: What's the difference? I want a calendar!
Right. We established that already. Do you want one to hang on your wall or one to put on your desk, table, or similarly horizontal surface? Help me help you. Help. Me. Help. You.
Then why are you playing with it?
Background: We have power poles that can be set up and taken down and moved, that are used to provide power for the lighted Christmas trees during Christmas, or anything lighted for the patio furniture in spring. They're kinda jury-rigged. There are a couple holes cut into the ceiling tiles to accommodate the poles, and the bottoms are taped to the floor. I guess this is how they were installed by the electrical company, and the store manager and the fire department don't seem to have any trouble with this arrangement.
Salesfloor kid: You know about this pole here? It doesn't look too safe.
Me...I dunno, that's just the way they were put in. If you're that worried talk to the store manager about it.
Salesfloor kid: (shaking the pole) Look at it! Look how I can shake it! I'm worried.
Me: Then quit playing with it.
I mean seriously, if you're that afraid something can fall, why shake it around? You've committed an extremely extreme logic fail. Please go home, insert brain, come back to work, and try again.
How not to do returns:
Push the full shopping carts to the backroom and put "Autopull" signs on them.
Again.
Like hell they're autopulls. When we pull things, we don't put HBA, housewares, hardware, domestics,, basically stuff from the entire store into one cart.
This is the busiest day of the year for returns. Deal with it.
Also, no backstocking Christmas candy and food from endstands because you need to put different items on those endstands. Find someplace for it on the floor.
Yeah, guess who came across two full shelves full of Christmas candy in the backroom, on the day it all went to clearance? Little of it was located either, so it might have sat back there a while until somebody stumbled upon it.
In summation: The Jamesons is in the cola and it's helping a little, but not a whole lot.
For one thing, it's hellishly busy in the store, since our customers are notoriously cheap as I have told you. Half the store goes on clearance and all the scavengers come out. But corporate goes right into January/February mode when allocating payroll for today and we go back to a skeleton crew.
Result: call boxes go off 3,4 or even 5 times before being responded to, because all the salesfloor people are either busy with other customers or they're backup cashiering, and managers get antsy and Irv runs his little hinder off trying to get to everybody.
On to today's stories.
An hour (or so) in the life of Numbnuts:
(Numbnuts managed to be even more useless today than he normally is. I swear he didn't answer any carryout call until it was repeated 3 times, at least. Times given aren't exact probably, but are as close as I can recall)
10:57 am--Get paged outside to bring in carts. Do not respond.
11:00 am--Go on lunch because the blond girl in electronics you like is going up on her break. Do not tell anybody.
11:03 am--Carryout is paged over the PA.
11:04 am--Carryout page is repeated.
11:06 am--Carryout page repeated again.
11:07 am--And again. Irv is asked by a salesfloor person why he hasn't answered carryout page. When Irv asks were Numbnuts is, he's told Numbnuts took his lunch. Irv is angry.
11:08 am--Carryout page repeated. Irv answers.
11:10 am--Irv delivers a card table set to customer. Customer isn't very happy she had to wait, but doesn't get overly sucky about it.
11:12 am--Irv returns to backroom to resume doing autopulls.
11:35 am--Irv is paged by name to bring in shopping carts from outside. Y'know, the same ones Numbnuts was paged to bring in but did not.
11:36 am--Irv puts on jacket and spends a while bringing in shopping carts, which generally are not returned to the corrals and left loose in the parking lot. Irv must also turn around one of the cart corrals because the snowplow people must've pushed it against another corral so that carts can't be returned inside it. It is a warmish day and snow is melting rapidly, creating a wet slushy mess. The bottoms of Irv's pants, along with his socks and shoes, get soaked.
11:54 am--Irv returns inside store.
11:57 am--Another carryout paged. Irv paged by name to get it. Irv asks salesfloor people if Numbnuts ever returned form lunch. Answer is negative.
11:59 am--A certain co-worker of Numbnuts and CS poster with talent for sarcasm calls the breakroom, asks for Numbnuts to be put on the line, and inquires about Numbnuts' future plans to return to work, if any.
Yes dear friends, Numbnuts took an hour for lunch today. This didn't go unreported to his direct manager.
Another Christmas ruined!
After Christmas has come and gone, to boot!
Fucktard asks Irv for this heated, massaging car seat cushion we had as a seasonal, gift-y item. Irv finds no such cushions anyplace in Hardware, which is where they were located. After all, these cushions were a fairly popular item this year. Irv tells fucktard no more cushions are available, and no raincheck will be issued. Fucktard huffs "I wanted it for Christmas! Now it's ruined!"
Irv would do the Ickey Shuffle or some such celebratory dance, but that would be highly insensitive.
Irv thinks people who get mad because they get a seasonal item after the season has passed are really really stupid.
What's the difference?
Customer: (motioning to two display racks of mostly wall calendars) Are these all the calendars you have?
Me: If you turn the corner here, on the end of the aisle we have some more desk calendars.
Customer: What's the difference? I want a calendar!
Right. We established that already. Do you want one to hang on your wall or one to put on your desk, table, or similarly horizontal surface? Help me help you. Help. Me. Help. You.
Then why are you playing with it?
Background: We have power poles that can be set up and taken down and moved, that are used to provide power for the lighted Christmas trees during Christmas, or anything lighted for the patio furniture in spring. They're kinda jury-rigged. There are a couple holes cut into the ceiling tiles to accommodate the poles, and the bottoms are taped to the floor. I guess this is how they were installed by the electrical company, and the store manager and the fire department don't seem to have any trouble with this arrangement.
Salesfloor kid: You know about this pole here? It doesn't look too safe.
Me...I dunno, that's just the way they were put in. If you're that worried talk to the store manager about it.
Salesfloor kid: (shaking the pole) Look at it! Look how I can shake it! I'm worried.
Me: Then quit playing with it.
I mean seriously, if you're that afraid something can fall, why shake it around? You've committed an extremely extreme logic fail. Please go home, insert brain, come back to work, and try again.
How not to do returns:
Push the full shopping carts to the backroom and put "Autopull" signs on them.
Again.
Like hell they're autopulls. When we pull things, we don't put HBA, housewares, hardware, domestics,, basically stuff from the entire store into one cart.
This is the busiest day of the year for returns. Deal with it.
Also, no backstocking Christmas candy and food from endstands because you need to put different items on those endstands. Find someplace for it on the floor.
Yeah, guess who came across two full shelves full of Christmas candy in the backroom, on the day it all went to clearance? Little of it was located either, so it might have sat back there a while until somebody stumbled upon it.
In summation: The Jamesons is in the cola and it's helping a little, but not a whole lot.
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