And so it ends...

[Mr Hero]

GK, you bless us with yet another story within the week? Funny as always, but also a bit unfortunate that you had to experience them.

[Gravekeeper]

Usually the most we can glean at work with our database is city/street. Knowing what block of 5 houses doesn't help much when you do a reverse look up like that since we'd still need to ask the specific house.

Smaller towns will just give us the town name though. They're not worth more than one postal code. -.-

GK, you bless us with yet another story within the week? Funny as always, but also a bit unfortunate that you had to experience them.

I should have about 5 days off now. I'm alleviating guilt over slimmer posting later in the week. =p

[ralerin]

The End is Neigh

Typo or deliberate? Because if it was deliberate I was expecting something to do with horses in your snarky commentary. As it is I think you meant Nigh.

[Chromatix]

It isn't really that complicated. The first letter(s) tell you the city or general region, the numbers narrow it down a lot, and the final letters pretty much identify the street.

What you might wonder is why L doesn't refer to London rather than Liverpool. London's simply too big to work efficiently on one main post office, so they have about half a dozen - East Central, West Central, East, NorthEast, North, NorthWest...

[Becks]

It can't possibly be the fact that the only way you would ever get a woman moist is if you shoved her into a storm drain.

I am going to have to steal borrow that for some people...

[Mike Taylor]

Somewhere On This Site is a Desk Clerk with a Story

SC: “Yes, I’m an American citizen and I’m calling from the <company> Hotel”

Hrm, ok? I’m already sensing that you’re leaning away from one of the Big Three issues that I can assist you with. Since you are not in jail, laying in a pool of your own life giving fluids or dead in a pool of your own life giving fluids. Those are really the only three options to be honest. You have to be behind bars, bleeding or have just finished bleeding. I believe the recording explains to ye these options three before you pressed the number for the emergency line.

SC: “They’re telling me to leave and they’ve called the cops on me because I refused!”

Er…ooook…and? I do not yet see the crucial flaw in your situation that would require me to exercise the vast power I hold. What utterly buttholish thing did you do to make them throw you out, anyway? You really need to pull off an admirable feat of jackassery to get thrown out of a hotel at 1:30am in this weather.

SC: “Can they do that!? Don’t they need a court order or something?!”

….hahaha, what? No. You have a somewhat flawed grasp of the law. They are not executing a search warrant. Merely telling you: “Hey, you suck so much it’s not even worth the money to allow you to stay here”. Ponder that a moment. You are so unlikable that you cannot even pay them to put up with you. Man, what did you do anyway? Now I’m curious.

Me: “Well no, if they’ve asked you to leave, than you have to leave.”
SC: “What?! But I’m staying here! I’m an American citizen and you’re saying they can just call the cops on me and have them take me away?”

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. But please, keep ranting. The more indignant you become over this the more pleasure I derive from refusing refusing to help you. I know, I know, there’s probably something wrong with me. But seeing as your parents never told you “No! BAD!” it’s all up to me now and I must make them proud.

Me: “If they’ve asked you to leave, you will have to leave. They have the right to refuse you service.”
SC: “Are you serious?! Even if my kids are asleep?!”

…yes, I’m serious and no you don’t get to ignore the law based on slumbering offspring. You screwed up somehow and it must have been rather spectacular. I mean they’re throwing you out. So pull up your big boy undies and deal with it. If your family is upset about it than well, hey, guess whose fault it is?

Me: “Yes. If they’ve asked you to leave, you have to leave. It’s a place of business and private property. This isn’t something I can help you with.”
SC: “But I’m American! You’re saying they can just take me away in handcuffs!? My family is asleep and we fly out tomorrow and no one can drive anywhere! The manager here just told me “I want you out of my hotel”.”

Good for him. Yet you keep coming back to your country of origin for some reason? You realize it’s utterly irrelevant right? Despite what you seem to think being American does not automatically grant you diplomatic immunity when visiting other countries. Yer in Canadia Land now, boy. Canadian law applies. Not that the law regarding this is any different in the US than it is in Canada. So dude, seriously, just get the heck out of the hotel already.

Me: “They have the right to refuse you service and ask you to leave. It’s private property, technically. If you don’t leave it’s trespassing.”
SC: “But I’m an AMERICAN!!!! What kind of country is this?! Its suppose to be different for me now that I have citizenship!!!!”

This is Canada. Land of hockey and syrup. Welcome, by the way. Citizenship you say? So you just got your membership card down south did you? I think either someone was lying to you about the membership perks or you've been watching a bit too much Fox. Where did you hail from originally by the way? Papua New Asshole?

Me: “If they’ve asked you to leave, than you’ll have to leave I’m afraid. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
SC: “So you’re not going to help me?!”
Me: “Well, you’re in Canada now and Canadian laws apply.”
( Not that American law is any different in this situation )
SC: “Shame on you! <click>”

Wow, all that spitting and ranting and screaming and the best parting shot you can come with is “Shame on you”?. Shame on me for what, exactly? Obeying the law? Not hanging up on you for yelling at me like a 3 year old whose toys were taken away? Not indulging your raging self importance? I’m not grasping which part I’m suppose to feel shame over. In fact, I’m quite pleased with myself to be honest. I believe I shall reward myself with a cookie.

Oh, hey, you know there is one way I can help. Give me a jingle after you end up in a cell, k?

Is this a retelling of the jackhole from before, or a new one?

[gerund]

Postcodes in Australia are 4 digits.

Set the scene:- this is a class on databases in a Tertiary institute. The discussion was about database fields and how big to make them.

Me (I have designed databases for about 10 years. I was doing the course to get the magic "piece of paper" we all think we need.)

Moron - No Idea Fool.

Me: Speaking out in class - some guff about how you cannot just make a post code or a zip code 4 digits if you expect someone overseas to use it as postcodes and zip codes are different all over the world. For example zip codes from USA seem to be 5 digits long.

Moron: "I've never seen a zip code"
Me: "Yes you have"
Moron: "No I haven't"
Me: "I'll say the zip code you have seen before and then you can say "Sorry Gerund, you were right I have seen a zip code before"
Moron: "I haven't seen one... go on"
Me: "90210"
Moron: "Is that a zip code?"
Me: "What did you think it was?"
Moron: "I dunno"
Me: "Go on, say it"
Moron: Ignores me...

This man wanted to be a programmer and design databases.

[Shards]

But apparently he’d broken one of them. I guess its communal and he was suppose to share her or something.

Wait... I thought Canadians shared their mates by default... Like threesomes were your national pastime or something...

[Mistress of Foxes]

Down To Your Level

SC: “You know, like I don’t know how to know”

…..what? If your objective was to ensure that I was just as confused as you are than congratulations. I suppose that now that you’ve dragged me down to your level you wish to engage me in epic combat and attempt to beat me with your vast experience in this realm? Well, alright. But I must warn you. I'm not a boss monster to be taken that trivially and I will put up a brutal fight even with your farkwit game genie on.

However, beyond me lies the Ice Beam.

Ah, Metroid. However, I don't remember any of the bosses being as confusing and/or numbnutty as your callers, GK.

[Gravekeeper]

Is this a retelling of the jackhole from before, or a new one?

No, that's a new jackhole.

Like threesomes were your national pastime or something...

No no, it's doggystyle. So we can both watch the hockey game.

[bunnyboy]

No no, it's doggystyle. So we can both watch the hockey game.

Dammit... I ignored rule 1... and just about paid the price.



Pepsi in the nose does not feel good.

[Talendor]

I almost pulled a rule #1 with GK's last comment.

As usual GK, keeping all of us smiling. Good work. *salute*

[Chromatix]

###
You and me, baby, we're nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...
###

[Shards]

He said watch the hockey game, not discovery channel. Jeeze, don't you ever listen?

[Becks]

No no, it's doggystyle. So we can both watch the hockey game.

Put baseball on instead of hockey and I'll be even happier.