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I know there are many kindly, sweet, generous old folks out there. Why is it I can't seem to run into them at work?
While I was counting furniture, I needed to push my cart (which serves as a rolling desk for my clipboard) down one of the aisles. It was blocked off by some old fart engrossed in one of our TV stands.
Me: Excuse me.
Old fart: JESUS CHRIST!
Oh. Gee. Well, either you just had a sudden religious experience, or you didn't like it when I said excuse me. I'm betting on the latter. Perhaps you misunderstood me. When I say "excuse me", I mean "toddle your Depends-begirded butt the hell out of my way so I can get through, and then you can go back to staring at the shiny objects, K?"
Next time I'll just dispense for the pleasantries and knock your wrinkly ass right into the coffin it rightly belongs it.
And then later on I got approached by some other old fart with three boxes of Christmas ornaments. He wanted a price check on them. They are 70% off on clearance.
*scan* They came up to 4 bucks and change apiece. Oh, but that wasn't good enough folks. Plus, you might like to know he was a "great" customer and he could always take his business elsewhere.
I told him the store manager told us not to discount clearance merchandise any further than it already was. This is a lie--he didn't actually tell me this, but whatever. I knew he'd say no anyway, because let's face it, a customer who has to haggle on an item already reduced to about a quarter of its original price isn't all that great of a customer.
Guess what? He decided to get a second opinion and took the boxes of ornaments to the service desk, where they sat with a note awaiting a final decision by the store manager!
Of course he said no.
Buahahahahaha.
While I was counting furniture, I needed to push my cart (which serves as a rolling desk for my clipboard) down one of the aisles. It was blocked off by some old fart engrossed in one of our TV stands.
Me: Excuse me.
Old fart: JESUS CHRIST!
Oh. Gee. Well, either you just had a sudden religious experience, or you didn't like it when I said excuse me. I'm betting on the latter. Perhaps you misunderstood me. When I say "excuse me", I mean "toddle your Depends-begirded butt the hell out of my way so I can get through, and then you can go back to staring at the shiny objects, K?"
Next time I'll just dispense for the pleasantries and knock your wrinkly ass right into the coffin it rightly belongs it.
And then later on I got approached by some other old fart with three boxes of Christmas ornaments. He wanted a price check on them. They are 70% off on clearance.
*scan* They came up to 4 bucks and change apiece. Oh, but that wasn't good enough folks. Plus, you might like to know he was a "great" customer and he could always take his business elsewhere.
I told him the store manager told us not to discount clearance merchandise any further than it already was. This is a lie--he didn't actually tell me this, but whatever. I knew he'd say no anyway, because let's face it, a customer who has to haggle on an item already reduced to about a quarter of its original price isn't all that great of a customer.
Guess what? He decided to get a second opinion and took the boxes of ornaments to the service desk, where they sat with a note awaiting a final decision by the store manager!
Of course he said no.
Buahahahahaha.
Reminds me of my favourite saying - "Yes I am a servant of the Devil, but my duties are largely ceremonial" 
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