Picking on Pregnant Women! (Longish)

[ViolaPlayer]

My lobby cashier went to help out a little at Self Checkout and got a world of hurt for her trouble.

We had some 8 oz packages of bologna on-sale but this "gentleman" had gotten the 16 oz size. When she verified this, he shoved the bologna back into her hands and proceeded to yell and curse at her, culminating with a lovely, "Go f*ck yourself!"

Now, mind you, this cashier is maybe 5'3" and thin as a rail even though she is obviously pregnant.

She came to the count room door crying and told me what happened. I let her into the room to compose herself, sent the FES to run the lobby and I immediately went out to the SCOT area. I quick asked the SCOT attendant if she had heard it and she had. Another regular, who knows me, flagged me down to tell me about it too.

So I went up to the guy and said, "Did you curse at my cashier?" (And I wasn't very nice about it at all! Being 5'9" and heavy-ish helps too) He didn't answer the question, just yelled. So I invited him to leave and not return. On his way out the door, I made sure to tell him to have a good night.

I was leaving about that time, so I made sure to tell the Asst Grocery Manager who was the MOD for the night. His response? "Nice. I'm a big man. I'm gonna go pick a fight with a small pregnant chick!" (Good and sarcastic)

I just do not understand what possesses some people to be total and utter jerks to people. Especially small, pregnant ones!

[tollbaby]

Okay, the guy was a douche, definitely... but her being pregnant is a tad irrelevant.

[earl colby pottinger]

Yes, pregnant

Okay, the guy was a douche, definitely... but her being pregnant is a tad irrelevant.

Yes it matters. Some women are scrappy and will face down a man twice their size. And win too! Hech, I know a girl who is less than half my size but is a black belt third dan. She could wipe the floor with me, but if you are pregnant you don't get in arguments (even just verbal ones) since you now have someone more important to protect than your pride.

Second, some women do get emotionally fragile when pregnant. What would be minor at any other time becomes a big deal then.

[Ree]

but her being pregnant is a tad irrelevant.

Not really.

I don't think the OP was trying to say the guy would be any less of an asshole if the girl wasn't obviously pregnant or was bigger in stature, or was even of the opposite sex. Rudeness is rudeness, plain and simple.

While being pregnant doesn't automatically merit saintly status or special treatment, there can be some well known issues related to pregnancy which makes someone cussing out a pregnant woman an especially asshole move.

Pregnant women can be extremely emotional and feel a little more vulnerable. They can also have physical ailments such as morning sickness, joint and back aches and pains, hemorrhoids, and as a result, may not be feeling all that great.

I am not saying that's always the case, but they are certainly very common issues with pregnancy, and are things that most people are aware of.

The OP mentions that the girl was small and very obviously pregnant, so for the guy to treat her like that, it was a dick move.

Treating anyone like that is a dick move, but to knowingly attack someone who is obviously pregnant just seems especially nasty.

[blas]

I agree with Ree, but I also tend to think that there are just certain men out there who tend to pick on any woman, just to throw their weight around and because they really have no better way of making themself feel better than to pick on a "helpless" female. The best part is always when a white knight so to speak steps in or even better, when the girl can stand up for herself and make that big man feel smaller than the woman he's picking on.

[candyshopgirl]

try being 4foot 11.i've had both ends of the spectum,i've had guys that treat me like glass because i'm so small.And I've had the dicks(like the one in the story)that treat me like dirt and "try" to pick on me.Notice I said try because I'm quick to tell someone off. Also I've had the guys that come in and talk to me in that little girl voice.You know the way you talk to a little 3 year old girl. I'd imagine i'll have the same problem in a year or two when i'm pregant.

[blas]

I have no doubt in my mind that you'll have those men crying like babies and sleeping with the lights on from there on, candyshopgirl

I'm only a few inches taller than you, and men try that shit with me occasionally, too. Especially older ones. I guess they were raised to talk down to women and babytalk them. Guys my age and a bit older who are jackasses just talk down to me or are really blunt with their words.

Perhaps next time a guy treats me like that, I should squinch up my face and go "Awwww woookie at dat big boy! Ooooh my so big so big! What do they feed yoooouuuu! My my my wookie woookie at da 2 inch penisss....soooo small!"

[KnitShoni]

Pregnant women can be extremely emotional and feel a little more vulnerable. They can also have physical ailments such as morning sickness, joint and back aches and pains, hemorrhoids, and as a result, may not be feeling all that great.

Not to mention, the mother's emotions can be transferred to the child she's carrying. You know how kids' moods sometimes change when they know their parents are upset/stressed/tense? Imagine not just feeling that in the air, but in your bloodstream?

And, a high enough amount of stress *could* lead to a miscarriage.

So, yeah, her being pregnant was relevant.

[tollbaby]

And, a high enough amount of stress *could* lead to a miscarriage.

So, yeah, her being pregnant was relevant.

First, she'd have to have extenuating health problems for a guy yelling at her to cause a miscarriage, and second, not likely at that advanced stage of a pregnancy.

We'll just have to agree to disagree here folks. Yes, I think it's a dick thing to do to yell at a pregnant woman, but no more than yelling at anyone else. I may be slightly more sensitive to this issue since my sister-in-law is currently 8 months pregnant and has acted as if she was made of glass since day 1 (i.e. she can't help with the dishes at my mom's because she's pregnant. She can't clean up after herself because she's pregnant. She can only sit around and eat because she's pregnant and *gasp* SOMETHING might happen to the baby *sigh* very irritating to the rest of us, especially as she plans on doing this five more times).

Incidentally, crazeyal, I did read your PM, but you've opted not to receive PMs back, so I can't respond. Next time just post it here, since everyone else did

[Ree]

First, she'd have to have extenuating health problems for a guy yelling at her to cause a miscarriage, and second, not likely at that advanced stage of a pregnancy.

We'll just have to agree to disagree here folks.

Whether we agree with it or not, many people do tend to be more protective of pregnant women because of a perception of vulnerability and concern over the unborn child.

We will just have to agree to disagree on the point, but I do understand where you're coming from.
I currently work with a girl who is on her fourth pregnancy, and she acts as if she is a porcelain doll. (Of course, she did have a miscarriage several months before this pregnancy...) Pregnancy isn't a disease, but some women use it as an opportunity to get out of anything they don't want to do.

I do agree she would have to be pretty fragile for a miscarriage to result from being yelled at, but then, KnitShoni did type it as "stress *could* lead to a miscarriage," so I didn't take it to mean that a miscarriage would have been the actual consequence, just a potential one, given certain circumstances.

That being said, you have to admit that the customer would have no way of knowing if the woman did have extenuating health problems, and therefore would have no idea whether his outburst could have caused her harm, so he really was an asshole for yelling at her.

You are also correct that yelling at a pregnant woman isn't any worse than yelling at anyone else, and I believe that was also pointed out, but in this situation, the woman did happen to be pregnant, so it was a relevant part of ViolaPlayer's post.

I hope that ends any more discussion about the issue, and we can focus on the guy being an ass, plain and simple, for yelling at a cashier who was just trying to help him.

[Mad-Bassist]

Ugh. I've always hated it when these people with tiny minds pick on (or repeatedly try to pick up) my female co-workers. I usually hear about it after the fact, and of course, they're perfect gentlemen when I'm around.

Too bad evolution doesn't remove those born without a sense of shame.

[AirHostess]

We can't fly when we are pregnant.... We get grounded and put on a temp placement in a non passenger facing environment. If you live over a certain distance away from the airport you don't have to work at all....

However the customer service agents (groundstaff) ladies do still work but with restrictions and they wear uniform smock dresses. I feel sorry for them, so many irate passengers, passengers who expect them to haul their heavy bags on the baggage belt at check in etc

[NightWatch]

I agree with Blas. Next time a dude tries being a dick to me because I'm a small girl and he needs an ego boost, I'm totally going to point out he's trying to prove he's a big man by picking on a girl half his size.