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  • #1

    Speak-ay English?

    Oy. Finally crawling out from my Happy New-Beer celebration, and am bobarded with assorted assclowns and fuckwads bitching about their insurance policies. Yes, Mr. Customer, I had a great holiday, no thanks to you. Got this little gem of a call, today:

    Me: Hi!
    SC: You-Know-Who

    Me: Thank you for calling blah-blah-blah. This is Wade, how can I help you?

    SC: Yeah, I had a question about my bill.

    Me: Okay, do you have a copy in front of you so we can review it together?

    SC: Yes, but I don't read or write English.



    So, this moron has automobile insurance, which means she's out on the road DRIVING, but can't read or write English? What's even worse, she had absolutely no accent or other indicator she was from another country where English wouldn't be her primary language. Thus, this customer, nearing retirement age, has skated through life completely, functionally illiterate.

    I guess the customer is always right. Unless it's this one, then she's always "rite."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    In all fairness, you have to know enough English to know what the traffic signs mean. I know that's all the English immigrants are required to know when they try and get a driver's license. The test comes in different languages, or can be read to test-taker. I know when I was taking my driver's license test the instructor had to inform all students that was an option. Their biggest concern was disadvantaging persons with dyslexia. But hey, at least the woman has auto insurance. Not everyone does, and it's pretty shitty to get in an accident with someone who doesn't.
    "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

    ...Beware the voice without a face...

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    • #3
      Not disputing that, to be sure. But, what about specialized signs, like the digital detour notices posted by the Department of Transportation? What about driving down the freeway and reading the signs to know your exit? What about taking down a license plate number in an emergency?

      I'm not trying to make this a racist rant, but not reading or writing ANY English at all could be bad news.

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      • #4
        You pose an excellent point! It's sad that you only have to be able to read "stop" "yield" and "speed limit" and you can get a driver's license. I once saw a man with a blind cane and a seeing-eye dog taking the vision test at the Driver's License office. I think I died a little inside that day.
        "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

        ...Beware the voice without a face...

        Comment

        • #5
          This is a classic case of "Convenience English." For those who don't know, this is when someone will ask for help in fluent English, then revert back to their native language and say they don't speak English when something doesn't go their way, in hopes you would do whatever you can't do for them simply because they don't speak English.

          This happened to me a while ago. I had a group of girls ask me if a shirt in a different size was in stock as it wasn't on the rack. We don't keep clothes in the stockroom, so I told her immediately it was out of stock. Even though she had no problems speaking English when she asked for help up until this point, she acted like she didn't understand me and said "sorry, no speak English" and started to talk to her friends in front of me in Spanish. Needless to say, as she walked away with her friends, she started speaking perfect and fluent English again, noting how I was of no help to her!

          "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

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          • #6
            Quoth NightWatch View Post
            Not everyone does, and it's pretty shitty to get in an accident with someone who doesn't.
            I got in an accident with someone like that, and later found out they had tried to use my insurance info to get a free ambulance ride.

            I was at the DMV once and saw a woman trying to get her license. The only difference from it being a normal situation was that her husband was translating every bit of direction she got from the clerk, who was trying her best to convey that the woman couldn't take the driving test unless she could speak and understand English.

            The problem wasn't really the woman, it was the husband's insistence on translating everything even as the clerk kept telling him to stop so that she could determine if the woman could understand her. I think he must've tried to block the clerks efforts for a good five minutes before she finally told him that was it and to come back another time. Sad thing is, I can probably guarantee he made his wife drive without license or insurance after that.
            "You are the dumbest smart person I have ever met in my life!" Will Smith, 'I, Robot'.

            "You LOSE! Good day, sir!" Gene Wilder, 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory'.

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            • #7
              It's definitely possible such a customer could exist. I can't write or read French very well, but if I go into quebec I have no problem reading signs there because the French is simple enough to understand. (For those who don't know, Quebec has all-French signage on their roads, unlike the rest of Canada which uses English - save for New Brunswick which uses both)

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              • #8
                In France, the signs say "STOP". In Quebec, the signs say "ARRET".

                Such are the Quebecois...

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                • #9
                  Quoth I_Hate_SCs View Post
                  This is a classic case of "Convenience English." For those who don't know, this is when someone will ask for help in fluent English, then revert back to their native language and say they don't speak English when something doesn't go their way, in hopes you would do whatever you can't do for them simply because they don't speak English.
                  I had a few of those last night. Insanely busy one guy started to argue the fee we charge for a service. Then he reverted to broken english to claim he was quoted a different price for the product. I literally shoved his credit slip in his face, told him he was lying and I'm too busy to deal with him, sign the damned slip and get out.

                  "You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer."
                  ~Clerks

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Can I have a cheeseburger View Post
                    It's definitely possible such a customer could exist. I can't write or read French very well, but if I go into quebec I have no problem reading signs there because the French is simple enough to understand. (For those who don't know, Quebec has all-French signage on their roads, unlike the rest of Canada which uses English - save for New Brunswick which uses both)
                    What about Nunavut? They have both English and Inuit on all the signage for infrastructure and stuff.
                    Maybe that's why GK has such a hard time with all of them. (no, not trying to make a racsist comment, just trying to beat the rest of you to the punch.)
                    "Otherwise you are free to keep putting your hope in leprechauns, horseshoes and unicorn farts."-Gravekeeper

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Kirkygirl View Post
                      What about Nunavut? They have both English and Inuit on all the signage for infrastructure and stuff.
                      Maybe that's why GK has such a hard time with all of them. (no, not trying to make a racsist comment, just trying to beat the rest of you to the punch.)
                      I was watching CBCNA one day, which is the local Nunavut CBC version (I have time-shifting, its not local to me), and I saw one commercial, and then I saw it again later and thought I was having a stroke because the words were all weird. Took me a minute to realize that it just wasn't English.
                      "If you find yourself fantasizing about throwing actual users into a blender, please get help... they're heavy." - Tom Dickson

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                      • #12
                        I once saw a man with a blind cane and a seeing-eye dog taking the vision test at the Driver's License office. I think I died a little inside that day.
                        When I went in to get my Licence they asked me to take off my glasses for the vision test. After I had been asked if I needed to wear them all the time. The lady then realized when I kept telling her that no I couldn't see the little star thing that you're supposed to see, that oh right, she should have her glasses on. *shakes head* Not as bad as a blind person cane and all but still.
                        “Bad taste creates many more millionaires than good taste.”

                        -Charles Bukowski

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                        • #13
                          it's similar in Japan.

                          You can get a license without being able to read Kanji but... if you get a ticket for not obeying a sign that's in Kanji ...the officer will say that a responsible driver will be able to understand Kanji signs.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth PepperElf View Post
                            it's similar in Japan.

                            You can get a license without being able to read Kanji but... if you get a ticket for not obeying a sign that's in Kanji ...the officer will say that a responsible driver will be able to understand Kanji signs.
                            Can we smuggle you into BC to work for the licensing people? Pleeeease? Or can you at least convince the beaucrats to go along with your level of thinking? There are far too many people here that plead ignorance by saying "no speek eengrish". Drives me bonkers.
                            "Otherwise you are free to keep putting your hope in leprechauns, horseshoes and unicorn farts."-Gravekeeper

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                            • #15
                              It's probably similar here. Most road signs are either place names or symbolic or numeric, but there are a few "generic" signs which refer to an unusual hazard, and which are clarified by a plate in Finnish and Swedish below it. (And, of course, in the local languages in other European countries.)

                              And then there are the signs which have exceptions for specific classes of vehicle... Quick, what does "Ei koske linja-autoja" mean? "Except for buses." <-- Spoiler

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