Asian Tossed Salad

[Calie]

Surrendering Dignity

A hot pink skull. Nothing says manly like having blazing hot pink on your butt cheek. The majority are one cheek. Though there are two examples where both cheeks are artistically impaired. However, dual cheeks will cost you an additional $50. Because you’re paying for double butt cool.

Was it anything like this?

I searched and searched but I couldn't find a pink skull (at least not that wasn't pink girly clothing). There was however, this interesting pair for girls. Skull-butterfly???

[Gravekeeper]

Was it anything like this?

Not quite. It's single buttock and has more pink.

[NightWatch]

Me: "....Tangerine Twist?"
SC: "Yeah, like the fruit."

….you know, you can give me her real name. You don’t have to use her...er….stage name.

I think that the Tangerine Twist in question says she is female... but your caller will find out very soon that she is technically a he. Stage name yes... but not at the sexy,sexy (Sarcasm!!) strip bar, but that other one down a dark alleyway lined with busted beer bottle and broken condoms that features drag queens. The really sad ones who cry on stage...

[freeatlast]

Save Vs Shame

So Burnaby finally claimed me as a victim today. Since Burnaby still has not had plow, salt, shovel or even garbage pick up for 2 weeks. Now the snow is still there but its covered entirely in black ice. It was this black ice that proved my….er….well, down fall. I’d managed to stay on my feet for 2 weeks of this and it finally got me. I failed my saving throw. Lost one leg. Tried to catch myself on the other but, well, it was on black ice too. Tried to catch myself on the snow bank…..annnnd no such luck because it has a 1 inch crust of ice on it so my hand just slid off. Thus I landed on my derrier. While I only took 1D4 points of damage, my pride sustained at least 2D6.

But luckily this damage was halved because no one was around to witness my shame.

I hope you fare better than I did - it's been almost two weeks since I fell on the ice (twice ) My tailbone is still bothering me alot. If I lift anything heave, lean over or walk up or down steps, it is still very painful. My Dad fell the same day I did, and he takes a little pillow everywhere with him to protect his very sore tailbone when he sits. The doctor at the emergency room told me that the pain from falling on your tailbone can bother you for several weeks.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

So why do I get the feeling these will go over big in Nunavut? I think I need to go lie down for awhile.

I'm suspecting the designer hails from Nunavut

Speaking of those "bling jeans" I saw some on a stickish-looking female yesterday while I was at the nail salon.

Hers had a patchwork design of sorts on one buttcheek and some sort of patchwork type appliques on the pantlegs. She also had a matching jean jacket and gold heels that looked like they were going to collapse out from underneath her with every step. These heels were so thin, I've picked up twigs out of my yard that were thicker.

I got a good rear view when she got up to leave (I was near the back with my hands under one of the dryers not far from this person) and I was holding my breath that one of those heels would break.

And the only thing I could think of besides her possibly breaking a heel was:

Those pants are so tight, she's probably developed a raging case of swamp ass.

[Enjis]

Decorated Butt Cheeks

When I was working at Macy's in the Young Men's department, we sold those decorated-butt-cheek jeans! We even had one from a VERY popular company (out of Australia) that had huge embroidered seagulls right across the crotch! And a sunny, rainbow-covered beach complete with palm tree on the butt cheek! AND WE TOTALLY SOLD OUT! And we had folks asking for more! (granted, a lot of them were stolen too, as it was one of the most expensive, thus most-stolen brands at 185.00 a pair) (Coogi, if you want to look 'em up online...)
Don't get me started on the $875.00 sweaters that looked like a rainbow threw up....(we never sold any, and they all got stolen....)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hmm, over here we have females wearing jogging trousers with 'juicy' across both cheeks. They are only worn however by the prepubescent and those who's arse measument is best dealt with in miles.

I once saw a girl who couldn't have been more than 10 wearing sweats with handprints on the ass. This still disturbs me greatly.

[KnitShoni]

And upon coming to your senses, calling HPD is another traumatic experience waiting to happen as you are now sans undies, in the cold at undisclosed location and then have to wait, at minimum if you're luck, 12 hours for a response because you're not on fire, bleeding to death or naked. And once someone from that illustrious organization finally arrives you'll be told they just can't do anything for you, so sorry, better luck next time, there's a Wal-Mart down the street where you can buy new boxers.

What, me? Bitter? Disillusioned? Powerless in my abject rage at their flaming incompetence and ignorance? NEVER... >.<

Gawd, do I EVER know how you feel...

[KnitShoni]

Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised I pink camo ever got big out here.

Gah! Don't SAY that!

[Pagan]

SC: “HERRO?! huhuhuhuh”
( Yes, that's right, he's doing the worst most racially offensive Japanese accent he can muster. )
Me: “……”

SC: “WASABI!? SOY SAUCE!? U LAHK WASABI? IN U BUTT?!”
Me: “…..”
SC: “LICK WASABI OUT OF U BUTT?!”

Until you got to the wasabi and soy sauce part, I thought he we trying to make some sort of comment about Hiro from "Heroes".

Speaking of those "bling jeans" I saw some on a stickish-looking female yesterday while I was at the nail salon.

Hers had a patchwork design of sorts on one buttcheek and some sort of patchwork type appliques on the pantlegs. She also had a matching jean jacket and gold heels that looked like they were going to collapse out from underneath her with every step. These heels were so thin, I've picked up twigs out of my yard that were thicker.

I got a good rear view when she got up to leave (I was near the back with my hands under one of the dryers not far from this person) and I was holding my breath that one of those heels would break.

And the only thing I could think of besides her possibly breaking a heel was:

Those pants are so tight, she's probably developed a raging case of swamp ass.

Reminds me of some of the girls I saw at the mall today. Wearing little t-shirts, really tight, pegged jeans, with leg warmers and flats. And looking at me like I could never be as cool and innovative in my clothing choices as they are. Felt like telling them that we looked way cooler when we were wearing that same outfit 20 years ago in high school.

I forgot, they also had no jackets....it was around 32F (cold for here) and snowing.

When I was working at Macy's in the Young Men's department, we sold those decorated-butt-cheek jeans!

Yeah, we had those and that other line by that other "rapper". I just don't get it.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Reminds me of some of the girls I saw at the mall today. Wearing little t-shirts, really tight, pegged jeans, with leg warmers and flats. And looking at me like I could never be as cool and innovative in my clothing choices as they are. Felt like telling them that we looked way cooler when we were wearing that same outfit 20 years ago in high school.

I forgot, they also had no jackets....it was around 32F (cold for here) and snowing.

Sounds like the young girls here as well. Of course, around here lately it's been the leg warmers with heels.

And if they're not wearing the leg warmers, it's the tight blingy jeans, thin stretchy t-shirt - no jacket and then complain that they're cold.

and probably by the end of next week, they'll all have pnuemonia of the butthole as my late grandma would say.

[powerboy]

Surrendering Dignity

Ok, seriously, guys. If you are about to drop $100 on or already shelled out $100 on this:

I think jeans with things on the back pocket like that, is ugly. But sadly it is popular

[PepperElf]

i must confess... i do have a black tshirt with a hot pink skull & crossbones

but no not on my ass... but i'm a girl i can get away with wearing pink.


the assless chaps idea sounds good... provided there's not ass tattoo of pink skulls.
or better yet... for the man who can't decide which to wear... combine the gold-foil-ass pants on one cheek and assless chaps on the other.

that way you're sure to get all the hot chicks... right?
(assuming you're getting them by making them laugh so hard they can't breath and then are picking up the unconscious body...ahem...)

[Becks]

Oh my God. Dude. Look. Seriously. If you’re this lonely there are other lines you can call that would be far more accommodating. They charge by the minute but it’ll still cost you less than $500 and they’ll at least act a lot more enthusiastic to hear you than I do.

What was that movie? Girl 6?

Popped into my head.

[Imogene]

ibut i'm a girl i can get away with wearing pink.

As long as you don't ask my sister-in-law, so can I.