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This time it's all about the Benjamins. Or sometimes the little round Lincolns.
Throwing money around
What is with people and the lack of respect when handing a cashier money? I can't tell you the number of times (well, today it was 3) that someone has LITERALLY thrown money at me (and not in the GOOD way). For example I tell a guy his total is $17 and change. He unfolds his little money clip and tosses a three folded fives and three folded ones across the counter one at a time. WTF? You couldn't just HAND them to me? or even just laid them on the counter. Or even just tossed all 6 bills in one little bundle? No, you have to make a show of unfolding each one and tossing it like it's a game.
I have more money than god!
Next up are the douchebags/possible drug dealers/on-second-thought-douchebags that walk around with a HUGE wad of money and procede to flip through it to see if they have a bill small enough to pay for the crap they're buying. The worst ones are the ones who actually comment about it. I have had people say "I bet you don't make THIS much money" or "Let's see if I have something SMALL enough, hur hur hur."
I have exact change... BUT NOT FOR YOU!
This one is for the ladies. Well, OLD ladies usually. The bill comes to $4.27 cents. She has a wallet FULL of change. You would think she'd give you $4, a quarter and two pennies. NOPE! Gotta sort out those quarters just in case they're a 'collectable' state quarter they don't already have. Oh wait, they're doing that with nickels too! And dimes are just too complicated so let's sort out 27 pennies. Wait! There's only 26 pennies! So she gives me 26 pennies... and a DIME! I guess dimes WERE too complicated!
In more of a sighting version of this, I was getting food in the mall food court and my change was 20 cents. The guy at the counter must have never dealt with money before because he said to his coworker "I'm out of 10 cent and 5 cent." The guy had to walk over from making my food to point to the PENNIES. I guess the cashier didn't know they're called NICKELS and DIMES.
Gee, haven't heard THAT one today!
Any bills over $20 we have to both check for the stripe and hit with the counterfeit checker pen. And EVERY smartass has to say:
1. It'd BETTER be good, I just got it.
2. It's good, I just printed it.
I can't wait till I actually catch one of these morons with a fake bill. Then I can say something like "So you admit it? I'll just call the police..."
I demand a recount!
A man of approximately 187 years of age waddled up to my register to buy two ink cartridges. They rang up for something like $14.79. He handed me his money, but my drawer was out of quarters AND dimes and didn't want to give him a handful of nickels. So I excuses myself for a moment to grab some change. When I returned a few seconds later he was gone, without taking his ink. He waddled back with the tag that showed the ink was supposed to be $13.99. So I did a quick exchange and go to hand him back the difference, about $1.70. He goes all angry-eyes on me. "No. I don't want that much change." Ok, so I take some of his change back to give him two dollar bills.
But then he goes nuts on me, comparing both the original reciept, the exchange I did to correct the price and the handful of change he had. He couldn't see on the receipt that I corrected the price (even though he got money back). I showed him how it added up for the exchange, but he didn't believe that, so he asked for a pen to do the math himself. I think my eye was twitching so much it was AUDIBLE. After several minutes apparently his math (or a hidden abacus) proved that both I, the register and evolution were correct and he got the correct change. He started to leave, sneering the whole time and almost forgot his package!
He was so concerned I shorted him less than a quarter that he almost forgot $28 worth of ink! He took several minutes to waddle off out the door. The manager laughed as I stood behind him waving my arms shooing him out.
Return of Exact Change
Yet another customer with a wad of bills. I can see just what's in his wallet, there's at least $8 in ones, several $5's, a few $10's and $20's. His bill comes to $3.
Does he give us 3 $1 bills? No.
How about a $5? Nope.
A $10? Not a chance.
$20 bill? Yup.
All that friggin change and he wants MORE? It's $3. You have EIGHT ONES! PART WITH THEM YOU INCONTINENT, INCOMPETENT, INSANE OLD MISER! There is no shortage of singles! More bills do NOT equal greater wealth! You are NOT Scrooge McDuck and those aren't your lucky dimes!!!
Thank you for listening to my rants. Please send money. No small bills, and please don't throw it.
Throwing money around
What is with people and the lack of respect when handing a cashier money? I can't tell you the number of times (well, today it was 3) that someone has LITERALLY thrown money at me (and not in the GOOD way). For example I tell a guy his total is $17 and change. He unfolds his little money clip and tosses a three folded fives and three folded ones across the counter one at a time. WTF? You couldn't just HAND them to me? or even just laid them on the counter. Or even just tossed all 6 bills in one little bundle? No, you have to make a show of unfolding each one and tossing it like it's a game.
I have more money than god!
Next up are the douchebags/possible drug dealers/on-second-thought-douchebags that walk around with a HUGE wad of money and procede to flip through it to see if they have a bill small enough to pay for the crap they're buying. The worst ones are the ones who actually comment about it. I have had people say "I bet you don't make THIS much money" or "Let's see if I have something SMALL enough, hur hur hur."
I have exact change... BUT NOT FOR YOU!
This one is for the ladies. Well, OLD ladies usually. The bill comes to $4.27 cents. She has a wallet FULL of change. You would think she'd give you $4, a quarter and two pennies. NOPE! Gotta sort out those quarters just in case they're a 'collectable' state quarter they don't already have. Oh wait, they're doing that with nickels too! And dimes are just too complicated so let's sort out 27 pennies. Wait! There's only 26 pennies! So she gives me 26 pennies... and a DIME! I guess dimes WERE too complicated!
In more of a sighting version of this, I was getting food in the mall food court and my change was 20 cents. The guy at the counter must have never dealt with money before because he said to his coworker "I'm out of 10 cent and 5 cent." The guy had to walk over from making my food to point to the PENNIES. I guess the cashier didn't know they're called NICKELS and DIMES.
Gee, haven't heard THAT one today!
Any bills over $20 we have to both check for the stripe and hit with the counterfeit checker pen. And EVERY smartass has to say:
1. It'd BETTER be good, I just got it.
2. It's good, I just printed it.
I can't wait till I actually catch one of these morons with a fake bill. Then I can say something like "So you admit it? I'll just call the police..."
I demand a recount!
A man of approximately 187 years of age waddled up to my register to buy two ink cartridges. They rang up for something like $14.79. He handed me his money, but my drawer was out of quarters AND dimes and didn't want to give him a handful of nickels. So I excuses myself for a moment to grab some change. When I returned a few seconds later he was gone, without taking his ink. He waddled back with the tag that showed the ink was supposed to be $13.99. So I did a quick exchange and go to hand him back the difference, about $1.70. He goes all angry-eyes on me. "No. I don't want that much change." Ok, so I take some of his change back to give him two dollar bills.
But then he goes nuts on me, comparing both the original reciept, the exchange I did to correct the price and the handful of change he had. He couldn't see on the receipt that I corrected the price (even though he got money back). I showed him how it added up for the exchange, but he didn't believe that, so he asked for a pen to do the math himself. I think my eye was twitching so much it was AUDIBLE. After several minutes apparently his math (or a hidden abacus) proved that both I, the register and evolution were correct and he got the correct change. He started to leave, sneering the whole time and almost forgot his package!
He was so concerned I shorted him less than a quarter that he almost forgot $28 worth of ink! He took several minutes to waddle off out the door. The manager laughed as I stood behind him waving my arms shooing him out.
Return of Exact Change
Yet another customer with a wad of bills. I can see just what's in his wallet, there's at least $8 in ones, several $5's, a few $10's and $20's. His bill comes to $3.
Does he give us 3 $1 bills? No.
How about a $5? Nope.
A $10? Not a chance.
$20 bill? Yup.
All that friggin change and he wants MORE? It's $3. You have EIGHT ONES! PART WITH THEM YOU INCONTINENT, INCOMPETENT, INSANE OLD MISER! There is no shortage of singles! More bills do NOT equal greater wealth! You are NOT Scrooge McDuck and those aren't your lucky dimes!!!
Thank you for listening to my rants. Please send money. No small bills, and please don't throw it.
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