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Okay, not really, but their car was. This was what my boss and I took notice of first. They pulled up under our porte-cochere (still badly damaged from taking a direct hit from a moving van weeks ago) in a sporty black number that was new when Zelda Fitzgerald was first starting to really lose it. Hoover was president when this car rolled off the assembly line.
Our first inkling of trouble was that the potential guests, a man and woman, brought in a coupon book. We were very nearly full by the time they walked in and in times like that, we're not going to honor the coupons. We honor them at our discretion, and it clearly states in the small print that we honor them based on availability, and we don't honor them on weekends, or during special events.
They asked if we were accepting coupons. I said that we weren't, and when they asked why, my boss answered.
We were almost full. It's high tourist season -- leaf season, and the Sam's Club of Doom (tm) is spewing out guests left and right. Basically, we're too busy. Apologies.
The woman replied, "Oh, so you're just going to screw everyone then, aren't you?"
When the potential guest says something like that, the situation can no longer be salvaged. The potential guest becomes, irreversably, an SC.
The man began to mutter that leaf season and tourist season are ridiculous reasons not to honor coupons. The woman and my boss began to argue. The man joined in.
Frankly, leaf season may be a ridiculous reason not to honor coupons, but blaming leaf season is more polite than stating that we can sell these rooms for double what you and your piddly little coupon will pay us, and if you don't like it, you can sit on it and spin. We're here to make money. Blaming leaf season is also more polite that stating the fact that "rate based on availability" essentially gives us the power to pull an excuse not to honor a coupon out of the air if we so choose.
The argument was going nowhere fast, so at this point, I pointed toward the door, and ordered the SC's out.
"Go. Out. Leave. Now." were my specific words. The SC's sputtered a bit, stunned, but turned to leave.
The woman yelled back, "Oh, we'll leave and we'll never set foot in here ever again!"
"Good," said my boss with a smile.
"And you can kiss my ass!" said the man.
"Not enough money in the world, sir," I replied. I couldn't help it. It just came out. The man stopped, dumbstruck, then barreled out the door.
And the SC's stormed back out to their very old car. They stormed on into their very old car, started it, revved the engine several times, and then tried their very hardest to leave a strip of rubber as they peeled the hell out of there, tires squealing and smoking. It was wet out though, what with all the rain, so they didn't succeed.
Poor things.
Some guests had been standing outside the front doors talking and smoking, and stared at the SC's as if they were insane. Another couple coming in to check to see if we had any rooms came to the front, pointed back out the doors to the antique car hurtling through the parking lot and asked, "What was their problem?"
"They were pissed off about something," said my boss.
And it happened again. I couldn't help myself. I said, "If I were married to that woman I would be too. Then again, if I were married that man I would be. They deserve each other. Now, how can I help you?"
Our first inkling of trouble was that the potential guests, a man and woman, brought in a coupon book. We were very nearly full by the time they walked in and in times like that, we're not going to honor the coupons. We honor them at our discretion, and it clearly states in the small print that we honor them based on availability, and we don't honor them on weekends, or during special events.
They asked if we were accepting coupons. I said that we weren't, and when they asked why, my boss answered.
We were almost full. It's high tourist season -- leaf season, and the Sam's Club of Doom (tm) is spewing out guests left and right. Basically, we're too busy. Apologies.
The woman replied, "Oh, so you're just going to screw everyone then, aren't you?"
When the potential guest says something like that, the situation can no longer be salvaged. The potential guest becomes, irreversably, an SC.
The man began to mutter that leaf season and tourist season are ridiculous reasons not to honor coupons. The woman and my boss began to argue. The man joined in.
Frankly, leaf season may be a ridiculous reason not to honor coupons, but blaming leaf season is more polite than stating that we can sell these rooms for double what you and your piddly little coupon will pay us, and if you don't like it, you can sit on it and spin. We're here to make money. Blaming leaf season is also more polite that stating the fact that "rate based on availability" essentially gives us the power to pull an excuse not to honor a coupon out of the air if we so choose.
The argument was going nowhere fast, so at this point, I pointed toward the door, and ordered the SC's out.
"Go. Out. Leave. Now." were my specific words. The SC's sputtered a bit, stunned, but turned to leave.
The woman yelled back, "Oh, we'll leave and we'll never set foot in here ever again!"
"Good," said my boss with a smile.
"And you can kiss my ass!" said the man.
"Not enough money in the world, sir," I replied. I couldn't help it. It just came out. The man stopped, dumbstruck, then barreled out the door.
And the SC's stormed back out to their very old car. They stormed on into their very old car, started it, revved the engine several times, and then tried their very hardest to leave a strip of rubber as they peeled the hell out of there, tires squealing and smoking. It was wet out though, what with all the rain, so they didn't succeed.
Poor things.
Some guests had been standing outside the front doors talking and smoking, and stared at the SC's as if they were insane. Another couple coming in to check to see if we had any rooms came to the front, pointed back out the doors to the antique car hurtling through the parking lot and asked, "What was their problem?"
"They were pissed off about something," said my boss.
And it happened again. I couldn't help myself. I said, "If I were married to that woman I would be too. Then again, if I were married that man I would be. They deserve each other. Now, how can I help you?"
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