Another Installment of Cable Customer E-mails

[Phone Jockey]

E-mail: “TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Bring service to my address its only 3 miles away, Please Please Please Please Please Pleeeeeease. But if not, Kiss my big old hairy BUTT!”

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Email: “Do you not have a educated staff. You hanged up on me. RUDE!!”

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Email: You people would rather lose customers than close your stupid mouths!

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Email: I am just about through dealing with your lackluster service. In fact, you only have a few more chances to straighten up before I consider going to another service!

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Email: Listen, you do what I say because I’m through with taking it in the shorts for you people. Seriously, I’m ready to drop you like a bad habit.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Email: I am just about through dealing with your lackluster service. In fact, you only have a few more chances to straighten up before I consider going to another service!

Reply: Dear Sir or Madam, we will improve our lackluster service only after you make good on your threat to start thinking.

[mattm04]

Email: “Do you not have a educated staff. You hanged up on me. RUDE!!”

Looks like we the educated ones.

[MannersMakethMan]

Email: “Do you not have a educated staff. You hanged up on me. RUDE!!”

No, I couldn't afford the money to put my staff through university. It's such a shame, because it always wanted to learn how to cast the 'respectful customer' spell.

[Apathy]

Email: You people would rather lose customers than close your stupid mouths!

Translation: I wanted to throw a bitch-fit, but the person on the phone wanted to solve my problem or some stupid shit.

[sms001]

I actually kind of like the first one.

25 01 09 - I see by the tags that you did too.

[wagegoth]

PJ, I was wondering where you were!


The first one was how I felt for years. Comcast kept promising they would provide internet service in my neighborhood, but it kept being put off. Then one of their salesmen called and signed me up. Woo hoo! high speed service. (We are too far from a phone station/whatever to get DSL.) They come out to install and realize that they'd never opened the node. Since they had sold the service to me (and probably others in my neighborhood), they spent the next couple of weeks opening the node and installing the service.

[Skeksin]

No, I couldn't afford the money to put my staff through university. It's such a shame, because it always wanted to learn how to cast the 'respectful customer' spell.

Summon Bovine works just as well. Provided you summon the bovine at some height above the customer....

Orbital Cow Strike is fun too!

[Phone Jockey]

PJ, I was wondering where you were!

You were? Why? Am I being charged with anything??

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You were? Why? Am I being charged with anything??

That depends on what you're willing to admit to.

[Phone Jockey]

That depends on what you're willing to admit to.

I plea da fiff. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIFF!! (I love Dave Chappelle.)

[Chromatix]

Summon Bovine works just as well. Provided you summon the bovine at some height above the customer....

Orbital Cow Strike is fun too!

Fetchez la vache! </python>

[Jay 2K Winger]

Fetchez la vache! </python>

Silly English kuhhhh-nigits!

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

To be fair ALL cable companies are run by the devil

::runs out of thread::