When the Summer Camp kids Strike....

[Digitalpotato]

I volunteered to work during Subway. and being inside a student centre at CSU, we would often get summer camp kids coming in once a week. Easily, you can tell how many of the kids have never ever been to a sandwich shop at all.


Kid #1: I'll have....a Sandwich.

Me: *gives him a "You seriously did not just say that" stare, holding back an epic headdesk*

Counselor: What kind of sandwich?

Kid #1: Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Me: We don't have that.

Kid #1: ...well what do you have if you don't have a sandwich?

Me: Everything on the menu.

Kid #1: *looks at the menu* WHOA you can put TURKEY on a SANDWICH?!

*Both the counselor and I try VERY hard not to facepalm. This kid's about 10 years old*



Kid #2: WHOA they got COOKIES!

Me: Yep we do, what kind would you like?

Kid #2: uh, three chocolate chips!

Me: That'll be $1.05

Kid #2: ...They cost MONEY?!



Kid #3: *orders a roast beef sandwich* But I wanted Pizza.

Me: We don't stock pizzas at this location due to limited space, and because there is a pizza place right there.
NOTE: The student centre does not allow competition, which is why there is only one salad place, one burger place, one Taco Hell, etc

Kid #3: But I wanted a pizza!

Counselor: you ordered a Roast Beef Sandwich, if you want pizza I can take oyu next door.

Kid #3: Oh okay.

(Why he wanted a pizza and ordered ROAST BEEF I have no idea....)



Me: Would you like provolone, pepper jack, white american cheese?

Kid #4: Uhm......uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh.....

(This happens EVERY time he's given a choice)



Kid #5 orders the most expensive sandwich on the menu. He's actually pretty good, but then he gets to the register.

Me: That'll be $x.xx

Kid #5: ...But I only have three dollars!

Counselor: *embarrassed* I'll help pay for it....

Me: In the future, please look up at the prices written on the menu.

Kid #5: You have a menu?

Me: *tries VERY hard notto bang my head into the register screen*

[Evil Queen]

I dunno about headdesking, but I don't think I could have NOT laughed at the first kid.

[Jester]

Kid #1: I'll have....a Sandwich.

Me: *gives him a "You seriously did not just say that" stare, holding back an epic headdesk*

This kid's about 10 years old*

As a child, he has some measure of an excuse.

You would be shocked how often people walk into my bar and, in absolute seriousness, say, "I'll have a beer."

This is not the movies. This is not Repo Man. We do not have cans of suds of only one brand.

While I try not to strangle them, I pleasantly am a smartass and say, "Any particular flavor?" That usually jogs their brains into action!

[Listerfiend]

...You would be shocked how often people walk into my bar and, in absolute seriousness, say, "I'll have a beer."

This is not the movies. This is not Repo Man. We do not have cans of suds of only one brand...

The other day I was in a local coffee shop that has all kinds of specialty drinks, food, ice cream, at least six kinds of coffee at any given time and the guy behind me ordered "a coffee." The barista had to rattle off four flavors to pick from before he got the hint that there was MORE THAN ONE. (he, too, was an adult)

[Jester]

Ah, but see with coffee, there really is just regular old coffee, unflavored. Hell, Denis Leary has a hilarious rant on this, which is probably even funnier to you caffeine heads out there than it is to me!

There is no such thing with beer. You. Must. Choose. A. Brand!

[TheTigress]

LAWL at Kid 1. That does not surprise me in the least.

Kid 3 leaves me scratching my head wondering what was going through his mind....

The kid 5 incident happens all the time at mine, but it's the ADULTS that do it! It's so bad that we actually warn people of the price if they say they want a Philly Steak or a Feast, because NO ONE reads the menu board prices!

I bet you get this all the time at yours:

"What kind of cheese do you want?"

"Yes."

"...."

[NightWatch]

My favorite response to the cheese question is, "I want the white one!"... Every subway I have been to have 3 or 4 flavors of cheese, all of which are white. The shredded cheese doesn't count, cuz everyone seems to be able to tell the difference on that one.

[Nashida]

I bet you get this all the time at yours:

"What kind of cheese do you want?"

"Yes."

"...."

I get it like this:

"What kind of cheese would you like?"

"Cheese."

"We've established that. What kind, though?"

"I. Said. CHEESE."

"But. What. Kind?"

"YOU'RE USELESS!"

[Chromatix]

To be honest, I *have* always wondered why shop-sandwiches are so divergent from home-sandwiches. Seriously, the closest I can usually get to anything actually made in a home or farm kitchen is the Ploughman's - and even that's actually difficult to find in Finland.

Most shop-sandwiches are more like salad-with-bread-bookends, with optional meat (of unknown provenance) and mandatory mayonnaise.

[Bramblerose]

Hey, your local friendly child-herd .

MOst of these kids have everything handed to them. Not in a too much money sort of way, just in a it takes some time to teach kids how to do stuff, so the parent never bothers, so said child winds up out on their own with no clue.

Aren't you glad it's now, when they are ten, instead of at college?

[sms001]

Hell, Denis Leary has a hilarious rant on this,

(Just 'cause I've seen it mentioned twice here in the last couple of days. WARNING! NSFW. (duh. Leary.))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQxgv4QtKM8

[Jay 2K Winger]

Ah, but see with coffee, there really is just regular old coffee, unflavored. Hell, Denis Leary has a hilarious rant on this, which is probably even funnier to you caffeine heads out there than it is to me!

There is no such thing with beer. You. Must. Choose. A. Brand!

On the same album as the Coffee Flavored Coffee rant, Leary also rants about Beer Flavored Beer. It's also funny, just not quite as funny as the Coffee rant.

[cinema guy]

Easily, you can tell how many of the kids have never ever been to a sandwich shop at all.

Kid #1: *looks at the menu* WHOA you can put TURKEY on a SANDWICH?!

Kid #2: ...They cost MONEY?!

Kid #5: ...But I only have three dollars!

I feel real sorry for these kids. It sounds like they may have been denied the learning experience of ordering food for themselves, for whetever reason. Hopefully their experience in Subway will have taught them something.

[Jester]

It sounds like they may have been denied the learning experience of ordering food for themselves, for whetever reason.

I think I know what that reason is.

JESTER: "And what would you like?"
PARENT: (to child) "What do you want honey?"
(Child sits there playing video game or drawing with crayons. Ignores parent.)
JESTER: "......"
PARENT: "......"
CHILD: (Continues to ignore us.)
PARENT: (Takes game or crayons away) "I said, what do you want?"
CHILD: (Mumbles incoherently)
PARENT: "What?"
CHILD: (Mumbles incoherently, this time with more of a whine)
PARENT: "What....do.....you want?"
CHILD: (Attempts to retrieve game or crayons from parents grasp)
PARENT: "Tell the man what you want!"
JESTER: (Has other tables to attend to, but is stuck here by this munchkin's antics; stands stoically, sweat beginning to bead on brow)
CHILD: (Mumbles whinily to parent, ignoring Jester's existence) "Chicken. No....Burger. No....grilled cheese. No...."
JESTER: "?????"
PARENT: "Which one?"
CHILD: "MmmmmmMMMMM!"
JESTER: (to parent) "Do you need a few moments? I can come back?"
PARENT: (to Jester) "No." (to child) "What.....do....you.....WANT?!?!"
CHILD: (Makes some gurgling/whining/half-screaming cry of protest to such indignities being heaped upon him like actually having to decide what to eat)
PARENT: "Chicken? Or burger?"
CHILD: "Churger."
PARENT: "CHICKEN?!?! Or the BURGER?!?!"
CHILD: "Chicken."
PARENT: (to Jester) "Chicken."
(Later, when the food arrives, and the chicken is set in front of the child....)
CHILD: (clear as day) "I WANTED A BURGER!!!"

May the gods heap blessings and great fortune on those parents who have denied their children "the experience of ordering food for themselves" in a busy restaurant, especially if that busy restaurant happens to be mine, for these are parents that have set their foot down against whiny petulant inconsiderate indecision.

Unfortunately, most parents do not deny such an experience, and teach their children in the process that it is perfectly acceptable to waste a server's time, and that they really don't have to make a decision. Then there are the parents I dearly love.

JESTER: "And what would you like?"
PARENT: (to child) "What do you want honey?"
(Child sits there playing video game or drawing with crayons. Ignores parent.)
PARENT: (Immediately snatches plaything from child, and is clearly irritated.) "I SAID, what do you WANT?"
CHILD: (Mumbles incoherently)
PARENT: "Tell him what you want RIGHT NOW, or you are NOT eating!"
CHILD: (to Jester, clearly terrified of either not eating or their parents' wrath....or both) "Burger, please."
JESTER: "Burger. Got it. Thank you."

I go through the first scenario shit above more often than you can possibly imagine. So does, I imagine, every single server from Maine to San Diego, on a daily basis. Yes, children are going to be children. It's how the parents deal with them that separates them.

Anyone want to guess which one MY father was?

[Sliceanddice]

I get it like this:

"What kind of cheese would you like?"

"Cheese."

"We've established that. What kind, though?"

"I. Said. CHEESE."

"But. What. Kind?"

"YOU'RE USELESS!"

i had a special way of ending that.
around the second cheese i would either say "so (insurt cheese i was craving there)' or 'ok so Swiss, pepper jack, provolone, and American, no prob, you will be charged at least for double cheese which is about 2 dollars more (that was a lie it was only 1 but 2 registers one doesnt)'
that would snap them out of it and when they yelled i would in my sweet 5 year olds voice (by the time i left all the regulars loved me, and hated mr crankpants manager) say"well ma'am/sir, you did say you want cheese and stated you did not care when you said just cheese, since i have 4 flavors (or three) all of which are yummy and but taste different, if YOU refuse to pick one for yourself, then its either i pick one for you or ALL for you. of course if you had stated what you wanted to begin with..." and then i can brush it off go to the next thing i saw one old guy blush redder than a tomato and he apologized repeatedly to me for the next month