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i kept remembering things as i was typing. so it's a bit long. enjoy.
Hey everyone, let's all go up to check out at the exact same time! it'll be hilarious
What the hell is it with random rushes of people? we'll be completely dead, four cashiers standing around chatting idly, when BAM, suddenly we're all three or four customers deep, all of them want paper bags, and everyone pays with checks. instant stress desu. and after maybe fifteen, twenty minutes of this crap, we're dead again.
*sigh* yes, I can take that
I had so many people today and yesterday paying with HUGE bills. I think the record so far is a guy who bought a gallon of milk with a hundred. it was at least a few hours into my shift so I had enough money in the till to give him change. we were slammed at the time (see above -_-) so I didn't want to tell him to change out his money at the service desk or anything. just, ughh.
tic-tacs – they're RIGHT THERE on the candy rack
some lady today came in, bought a couple things, didn't listen to a damn word I said to her, just annoyed me from the start. I asked her a question, she looks up at me a couple seconds later and goes “huhh?” at another point, she sighs heavily, and her face is tilted at just the right angle, her mouth open exactly right to blow her stanky, rancid breath right in my face. I held back a gag and turned away to tear her receipt away from the printer.
check the locks at the nursing home
we have SO. MANY. old people at my store. I never notice that many old people around the rest of the town, but go into my store and it's like the nursing home vomited all its residents at our entrance. most of them are fairly hard of hearing, a good portion are on oxygen, and some of them I truly shudder at the thought of them driving. not to knock old people or anything, i'm just wondering where the hell they all come from.
on a similar (but younger) note
there are apparently a variety of group homes for mentally and physically disabled people in the area, and about once a week, usually tuesday mornings, a bus will pull up outside and a group of mentally handicapped people will come in with their chaperones. they are the NICEST people I have ever met. it's usually all the same people, and they're so polite and cheerful it makes me feel happy for at least a few hours.
crazy cat lady
she wears the same hat and overcoat every time she comes in. I suspect she wears the same clothes too, but I can never remember what she wore last time so I can't tell. she comes in two or three times a week, always buys cat food in bulk (we're talking about 100 cans every time) and always tells me exactly which items and in what quantities are to go in which kind of bag.
let me just say that I hate paper bags with a passion. they are a pain in the ass. CCL always wants paper bags for everything except the four bags of carrots she also habitually buys (they're for the horse, so they go in plastic. I wanna know how that makes sense to her). she apparently told one of the cashiers once that she has something like twelve indoor cats, twelve backyard cats, and fifteen front yard cats. which is obviously why she buys cat food out the ass.
this is a typical CCL encounter.
me: *sees her coming and wishes she could run away* Hi, how are you today?
CCL: I'm good, thanks. Now, there are four cases of these *hands me a lone can of cat food*, twenty-four cans in each case, so that makes ninety-seven cans total, and this can can just go in a paper bag.
me: okay, sure.
CCL: *puts household items and people food on belt, one by one* this can go in plastic please, it's poisonous. and all of this here can go in one paper bag, please. oh, except for the carrots, they can go in plastic, they're for the horse.
me: of course, mam. *puts the carrots in a plastic bag*
CCL: thank you so much. and here, this here goes in one paper bag, and this here in another. thank you very much.
me: *finally* ok, so your total is $XXX.XX, mam.
CCL: ok, very good.
she's not sucky exactly, more like annoying. at least she knows to leave the cat food cases in her cart.
i wanna know where she gets the cases. they're definitely not on the shelves.
why?
my coworker found a cart in a stall in the ladies bathroom today. it wasn't even in the handicapped stall, just a normal one.
*grits teeth* is that credit. or. debit.
typical scenario
me: will that be credit or debit?
sc: *presses button and ignores me*
me: ...credit or debit, mam?
sc: I pressed credit~!!1!@
and how was I supposed to know that? I have to press a key on my keyboard to tell the computer which type of card you're using. on most of our registers (except 5), pressing the button on your end isn't going to do shit on the computer. so you need to tell me VERBALLY how you're paying. thank you, mrs ass-monkey.
you, sir, are a dick. good day.
this guy nearly broke my brain to mouth filter. guy writes a check. now, I don't know how it is at other places, but here we need to get either a driver's licence or check cashing card number and a phone number, and if the customer doesn't have a CC card we have to make sure their name isn't on the bad check list. so I check this guy's name while he's filling out the check, he hands me the check and his driver's licence, I copy the number down above the printed name, address, etc.
me: *scans check* ok, and can I have your phone number, please?
dick: I wrote it under the signature. there's a thing called paying attention, have you heard of it?
me: ...! *silently processes the check and hands him his receipt while holding back any number of insults*
what the hell. seriously. no one – NO ONE – writes the phone number under the signature. it is either printed on the check, written above the printed name, or written in the memo field. DO NOT make me out to be an idiot because I thought that it was part of your signature because YOU wrote it in the wrong spot. I am very busy, very stressed, and with my low blood sugar i'm more often than not very hungry. you're a dick. take your shit, get out of my line and out of my face.
grocery stores. *shakes head* I don't work til wednesday. happy birthday to me~
Hey everyone, let's all go up to check out at the exact same time! it'll be hilarious
What the hell is it with random rushes of people? we'll be completely dead, four cashiers standing around chatting idly, when BAM, suddenly we're all three or four customers deep, all of them want paper bags, and everyone pays with checks. instant stress desu. and after maybe fifteen, twenty minutes of this crap, we're dead again.
*sigh* yes, I can take that
I had so many people today and yesterday paying with HUGE bills. I think the record so far is a guy who bought a gallon of milk with a hundred. it was at least a few hours into my shift so I had enough money in the till to give him change. we were slammed at the time (see above -_-) so I didn't want to tell him to change out his money at the service desk or anything. just, ughh.
tic-tacs – they're RIGHT THERE on the candy rack
some lady today came in, bought a couple things, didn't listen to a damn word I said to her, just annoyed me from the start. I asked her a question, she looks up at me a couple seconds later and goes “huhh?” at another point, she sighs heavily, and her face is tilted at just the right angle, her mouth open exactly right to blow her stanky, rancid breath right in my face. I held back a gag and turned away to tear her receipt away from the printer.
check the locks at the nursing home
we have SO. MANY. old people at my store. I never notice that many old people around the rest of the town, but go into my store and it's like the nursing home vomited all its residents at our entrance. most of them are fairly hard of hearing, a good portion are on oxygen, and some of them I truly shudder at the thought of them driving. not to knock old people or anything, i'm just wondering where the hell they all come from.
on a similar (but younger) note
there are apparently a variety of group homes for mentally and physically disabled people in the area, and about once a week, usually tuesday mornings, a bus will pull up outside and a group of mentally handicapped people will come in with their chaperones. they are the NICEST people I have ever met. it's usually all the same people, and they're so polite and cheerful it makes me feel happy for at least a few hours.
crazy cat lady
she wears the same hat and overcoat every time she comes in. I suspect she wears the same clothes too, but I can never remember what she wore last time so I can't tell. she comes in two or three times a week, always buys cat food in bulk (we're talking about 100 cans every time) and always tells me exactly which items and in what quantities are to go in which kind of bag.
let me just say that I hate paper bags with a passion. they are a pain in the ass. CCL always wants paper bags for everything except the four bags of carrots she also habitually buys (they're for the horse, so they go in plastic. I wanna know how that makes sense to her). she apparently told one of the cashiers once that she has something like twelve indoor cats, twelve backyard cats, and fifteen front yard cats. which is obviously why she buys cat food out the ass.
this is a typical CCL encounter.
me: *sees her coming and wishes she could run away* Hi, how are you today?
CCL: I'm good, thanks. Now, there are four cases of these *hands me a lone can of cat food*, twenty-four cans in each case, so that makes ninety-seven cans total, and this can can just go in a paper bag.
me: okay, sure.
CCL: *puts household items and people food on belt, one by one* this can go in plastic please, it's poisonous. and all of this here can go in one paper bag, please. oh, except for the carrots, they can go in plastic, they're for the horse.
me: of course, mam. *puts the carrots in a plastic bag*
CCL: thank you so much. and here, this here goes in one paper bag, and this here in another. thank you very much.
me: *finally* ok, so your total is $XXX.XX, mam.
CCL: ok, very good.
she's not sucky exactly, more like annoying. at least she knows to leave the cat food cases in her cart.
i wanna know where she gets the cases. they're definitely not on the shelves.
why?
my coworker found a cart in a stall in the ladies bathroom today. it wasn't even in the handicapped stall, just a normal one.
*grits teeth* is that credit. or. debit.
typical scenario
me: will that be credit or debit?
sc: *presses button and ignores me*
me: ...credit or debit, mam?
sc: I pressed credit~!!1!@
and how was I supposed to know that? I have to press a key on my keyboard to tell the computer which type of card you're using. on most of our registers (except 5), pressing the button on your end isn't going to do shit on the computer. so you need to tell me VERBALLY how you're paying. thank you, mrs ass-monkey.
you, sir, are a dick. good day.
this guy nearly broke my brain to mouth filter. guy writes a check. now, I don't know how it is at other places, but here we need to get either a driver's licence or check cashing card number and a phone number, and if the customer doesn't have a CC card we have to make sure their name isn't on the bad check list. so I check this guy's name while he's filling out the check, he hands me the check and his driver's licence, I copy the number down above the printed name, address, etc.
me: *scans check* ok, and can I have your phone number, please?
dick: I wrote it under the signature. there's a thing called paying attention, have you heard of it?
me: ...! *silently processes the check and hands him his receipt while holding back any number of insults*
what the hell. seriously. no one – NO ONE – writes the phone number under the signature. it is either printed on the check, written above the printed name, or written in the memo field. DO NOT make me out to be an idiot because I thought that it was part of your signature because YOU wrote it in the wrong spot. I am very busy, very stressed, and with my low blood sugar i'm more often than not very hungry. you're a dick. take your shit, get out of my line and out of my face.
grocery stores. *shakes head* I don't work til wednesday. happy birthday to me~
K OUT OF MY STORE YOU RUDE 
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