"I'M NOT A KNIGHT!!"

[Jester]

I often do battle with my patrons on this note.

They will make the mistake of calling me "sir." I have a few comebacks for this.

"Don't start calling me names!"

"I am neither old enough nor respectable enough to be a sir!"

"The only people that should ever call me sir are the boys that date my three teenage nieces!"

"My father was "sir." I'm just Jester."

And every now and then, some wiseass (I mean, one other than myself) will combine the two and start referring to me as "Sir Jester." And yes, I have a response for that as well.

"No. I have not been knighted by the good Queen, thank you very much."

Only ONE person is allowed to call me "Sir." Well, two. And they are both bartenders at one of my favorite bars, and it started because I referred to the one as "milord" for the speed in which he brought us our libations. Ever since then, he's been "Lord [Name]." And he and his coworker, ever since then, have referred to me as "Sir Jester." And I allow it from the other coworker because, frankly, she's hot, full of win, and I've had a thing for her for a long, long time. (Got a boyfriend, unfortunately.) And, since she's British, it sounds far better coming out of her mouth than the typical tourist's.

I would LOVE to be called "Lady Iradney". That way I can swan around, acting like a duchess.

You mean you don't already?

[Camry178]

"I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE STORE MANAGER, NOW!!"

"I'M the store manager. What can I do for you?"

___________________

"Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants." Jack Handy

Oh how I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE telling customers that and then seeing their faces just drop.

[draftermatt]

I call ever man I talk to on the phone "sir" and women "ma'am" or "miss". Sometimes I call my lady friends or my wife "milady".

Thankfully no one has taken offense to it. Just one guy who said "stop calling me sir already"

[Shironu-Akaineko]

The term "sir" has it's origins in Knighthood, so the old man was valid on that point alone.

Maybe he stumbled into a Tardis...?

[Geek King]

If someone takes offence to "sir," then, traditionally, it would be appropriate to refer to them as "goodman."

Cash: Will that be all, sir?
Idjit: I AM NOT A KNIGHT!!!
Cash: Sure. Will that be all, goodman?

NOTE: Females angered by the use of "ma'am" or "madam" may be refered to as "goody."

[Mike Taylor]

There are some folks who think being called "sir" or "ma'am" is not respectful, but patronizing. On the other hand, there are the asshats who DEMAND to be called "sir" or "ma'am" and really don't deserve it.

[LibraryLady]

I have no problem with any of these honorifics. I've been called "Ms", "Ma'am" and once, when I had very short hair and was wearing a leather bomber jacket, "Sir". Now that I'm getting on in years I find it a bit disconcerting to be addressed by young shop assistants as "Miss" but that's a small thing. Young people in shops today seem to address any woman as "Miss".

In the Library I use only "Ma'am" and "Sir" unless the person is very young. In that case I address the patron as "Miss" or "Son". We're talking here about kids under the age of ten and sometimes, the use of the word "Son" helps bring a slightly manic kid under control.

I know that the proper term for a young male child is "Master" but I'm not going to go there. I remember a man who named his two boys "Master" and "Mister". He thought his boys would always be respected. Instead, their names made them figures of fun.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

I never have a problem with being addressed as "Ma'am". At my last job, one of the security guards always called me Miss MyFirstName.

And I have some issues with calling the Big Boss by his first name, here. I've been calling him Mr. Smith. He's a nice guy, and doesn't seem to mind.

[ArcticChicken]

Over time, as people were knighted less for their prowess in battle and more often for their prowess in other things,

Like piracy! I want to be Sir Francis Drake when I grow up.

[Bradester]

There are some folks who think being called "sir" or "ma'am" is not respectful, but patronizing.

My parents were actually that way when I was little. I tried 'ma'aming' my mom once and was punished for being mouthy.

What an odd situation. I wonder if he was suffering from some sort of dementia?

[PepperElf]

NOTE: Females angered by the use of "ma'am" or "madam" may be refered to as "goody."

Or "Dame"

though... a lot of them won't realize it's proper title for a knighted woman and will think you're just calling them "a dame"... O_o

(i.e. Dame Judi Dench)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

People like this piss me off. Why can't they understand that the person calling them "sir" or "madam" means well? I shouldn't have to feel like I'm walking on eggshells and questioning if somebody is going to take being called "sir" or "madam" well.

[40BELOW]

The man came in this morning. He was in a much better mood today. He apologized. He introduced himself and we shook hands.

We have a bus strike here in town and he been chauffeuring people around all day to various appointments. That's why his temper was so short. Traffic wise, the whole city is a mess. I was his last stop of the day, and he needed to lash out at someone.

I asked him why he objected to being called, "Sir". He said people started calling him, "Sir" when he turned about 40 years old and he never liked it. I didn't push him for an explanation. Better to let sleeping dogs lie. I've always used it as a form of respect and I told him that.

He apologized profusely again. He asked what the significance of some of my tattoos were. We talked for about an hour. It turn out we share a few common interests. Before he left, he extended his hand again and I shook it again. He was a very nice man.

So, there ya go. There some sucky customers out there, but some of them are only sucky for about 24 hours.

___________________

The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway.

"Jesus Christ!" he says.

Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better than Clyde!"

[Ben_Who]

I've always been bewildered by people who explode when someone tries to address them with a term generally meant to convey respect. If I call someone "sir" and he decides to tear me a new one, well, I'm not psychic and I don't read minds, mister; I call people "sir" and "ma'am" out of respect if I don't happen to have a name at my fingertips. However, I take your point, and will from now on refer to you as "Hey, you."

If you're getting so much respect in your life that you can afford to throw it back in the face of someone offering it, then I will withdraw my offer and treat you like furniture.

Love, Who?

[Bramblerose]

I dunno why he's complaining about being called "Sir". I would LOVE to be called "Lady Iradney". That way I can swan around, acting like a duchess. Only problem is I'd have wear a hat that looks like someone dropped an icecream cone on my head

Only in teh 15th cent. And frankly, there's some debate on how tall the ungrateful thing should be.