More ATM Tomfoolery

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

I remembered I had a great call a couple of days ago, but forgot what the call was. Then I read the memory card stuck in the machine thread and I remembered

Me: Greeting
SC: Yeah, I put in a deposit in the wrong hole, how can I get it back?
Me: Sorry for the inconvenience. May I have your social?
SC: I put money in the wrong hole.
Me: I understand. Social?
SC: Don't have it.
Me: Account number?
SC: I put money in the wrong hole.
Me: I understand. Account number?
SC: Don't have it.
Me: Name?
SC: I put money in the wrong hole.
Me: I understand you put the money in the wrong hole. I understand the reason for the call. Name?
SC: <You and millions of other customers>
Me: Did it take the card?
SC: I don't know. Should I try to get it out?
Me: Sure.
SC: It gave it back.
Me: Great! What's the card #?
SC: gives it
I verify him.
Me: So it won't give the money back right?
SC: Should I try to get the money?
Me: ... Yes, please do.
SC: I got the money.
Me: Great! Do you have any other questions for me?
SC: Yes what do I do about the missing money?
Me: What missing money?
SC: The one I deposited in the wrong hole.
Me: I thought it gave it back...
SC: I withdrew money, but the deposit money is still stuck there.
Me <-- bangs head against the desk
I explain the steps for a claim, he asks questions about the steps, we part ways five minutes later.

[jerkface11]

Yeah, I put in a deposit in the wrong hole

Wow I'm glad I didn't take that call I'd have been laughing like Beavis and Butthead.

[Apathy]

SC: Yeah, I put in a deposit in the wrong hole.

I'm sorry, but since you're too stupid to operate this simple machine, the bank will retain your money. Good day.

[PepperElf]

SC: I put money in the wrong hole.

Must. Refrain. From. Going. Into. Gutter....


(though my SC response to the gamer comments could work here too - "you're an idiot!" )

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

This reminds me of another one (of many... the ATM is just a goldmine for SCs).

Me: Greeting
SC: My deposit has not posted.
Me: When did you make it?
SC: Tuesday.
Me: It should have definitely posted by now. Did you go to the branch or to the ATM?
SC: ATM.
Me: Where was it located?
SC: In a mall.
Me: ... Mall ATMs don't accept deposits, only ATMs attached to branches accept deposits.
SC: ...
Me: I'm looking at your card history and I don't show it being used in the last two weeks.
SC: I didn't put in a card.
Me: Tell me the steps you followed to make this deposit.
SC: Well I took $300 cash, put them in an envelope with one of the deposit slips from my checkbook, and put it in this little door in the wall next to the ATM.

The only little doors in walls at malls are TRASH BINS. The call was in Spanish. So I guess when you move to a new country, learn these words first: Bathroom, how to say language of origin in new language, beer, trash.

Another one:
Me: Greeting.
C: I got stuck at the ATM.
Me: <<Groan, not another one.>>
Me: You mean the card got stuck at the ATM?
C: No, I did. I'm at a walk-in branch lobby. I swiped my card to get in, used the ATM, and now it won't let me back out. The fire department refused to come break down the glass wall and I'm starting to get thirsty.

Never did find out what happened to him. I placed him on mute to figure out what to do and while we were all trying to figure out what to do with him, the call disconnected.

[digilight]

Ahh the last guy on there is very easy to figure out. It is a ATM machine located in the entry way of the bank. THere is a set of doors that you walk in to get out of the outside (yeah thats good english right there huh) and then the lobby with the ATM and then another set of locked doors for the bank. He must have not realized that the doors only open one way, so if he was trying to push them when he should have pulled them the fireman were just having fun with the dumb shit.

in otherwords...help I'm stuck in a revolving door.

[HowMayIHelpYouToday]

Ahh the last guy on there is very easy to figure out. It is a ATM machine located in the entry way of the bank. THere is a set of doors that you walk in to get out of the outside (yeah thats good english right there huh) and then the lobby with the ATM and then another set of locked doors for the bank. He must have not realized that the doors only open one way, so if he was trying to push them when he should have pulled them the fireman were just having fun with the dumb shit.

in otherwords...help I'm stuck in a revolving door.

Well the thing is in my city my bank doesn't have after-hours lobby ATMs (other banks do, but I don't bank with them... I've never used one) and we all work on the phones, so we didn't know how those things work...I would have guessed there's a card reader on the inside too to get back out.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

SC: Yeah, I put in a deposit in the wrong hole,

/tries really really really hard to avoid making a comment about having the right ass, but the wrong face.

[bankworking]

Do you deal with any of the ATMs that don't use envelopes? You put your money in the slot and it counts the denominations, confirming your total, and with checks it actually scans the checks as they go in.

Only one problem: It can jam if someone tries to put an envelop in it. (Though it usually just rejects it, but some people will keep trying and trying.)

Oh the joy.