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So I just got out of work
Where I work, I (my department) am allowed to write parking tickets. They are actual local police department tickets and you have 10-days to pay the fine, at which point if you haven’t you receive a citation for 10X the original amount of the ticket. We write the most tickets for people illegally parking in handicap spots. They either A) don’t have a card or plate, or B) are using an expired (and sometimes ‘altered’ card).
I had just written a ticket for a vehicle that very obviously did not have one. And I look. Everywhere (visor, dash, floor, sticking from the side of the door, etc) for cards just in case the driver just forgot to put it up (Oh I HATE when someone whines “But it was hanging from my miiiirrrooooorrrr, you just must not have seeeeennnnn it!”)
I was in the area for several more minutes when I saw a woman approach the vehicle and begin looking at the ticket. It’s not my job to judge whether someone ‘looks’ or ‘acts’ handicapped. If they have proof they are, I void the ticket no problem. If they don’t have proof, I stand my ground. The woman sees me and starts stomping my way; she’s a slightly older woman, but very….energetic.
CL = Crazy Lady
ME = Me
CL “Were you the one who put this on my car??”
ME (No, it was the Easter Bunny) “Yes, I did, but if you have your handicap card I can void it.”
CL “We’ll I am handicapped, my feet are all cracked; I can show you!”
ME “No, I don’t need to see, do you have your card?”
CL “No, I don’t have a card, I applied to be handicapped 10-years ago when I thought I had emphysema…” (She begins ranting about how she used to smoke, did I smoke, how she confronted a man she saw smoking and told him God didn’t want him to die that way…I now see that religion is going to come into the fold) “You can see I’m handicapped, do you have nothing better to do all day than kill trees by handing these out!? What is your education?”
ME “College Ma’am, Bachelors degree.”
CL “And you do THIS!? You couldn’t find something worthwhile!?”
“This pays well Ma’am. And it is worthwhile to those who need these spots when they’re being used by people who don’t need them; I’m sure you understand.” (Then ensues an almost normal conversation concerning where we went to school. I try to get her back on-track) “Do you at least have your paperwork or your wallet card?”
CL “No, how do I get one of those?”
ME “Well, if your doctor had declared you eligible you would have filled-out the form with -local dept. of motor vehicles-. So you just have to bring your proof to the local police department…”
CL “Where are they!?”
ME “Right here Ma’am (points to address printed on her ticket; the station is not even 2-miles away).”
CL “So I go there to get proof that I’m handicapped?”
ME “No, no Ma’am, you should already have that. (Woman begins arguing that it is too much running around for her to get this ‘mysterious’ proof. I am pretty sure at this point that she does not have any at all. I try to extradite myself from the situation, when that sneaky religion rears its head again. At this point I’m holding the ticket because she wanted me to write directions on it and sort of thrust it into my hands) “So, you just have to take your ticket within 10-days and…”(Tries to hand it back to her)
CL “Oh, I don’t want it, can’t you tear it-up and ‘pretend’ you never gave it to me?”
ME “Ma’am, ethically and morally I cannot do that.” (Tries to hand it back again)
CL “Well, God was probably telling me to talk to you, that’s why he had you do this. Do you believe in the Higher Power?”
ME “Yes, in a way.”
CL “What’s your Religion?” (Oh, I should have lied! Or said I was the same thing she was. But I’m open and not ashamed of my beliefs)
ME “I’m -------” (Then spend 5-minutes trying to explain it, trying to keep my parents and upbringing out-of the conversation, and steer her back towards the ticket. Finally, headway! She tries to hand me a religious pamphlet and invites me to her church. I try to refuse it politely)
CL “Well, If you don’t take this, I won’t take that (gestures to the ticket).”
ME “(Sigh) All right Ma’am, I’ll trade you. (I take the pamphlet and she FINALLY takes the ticket. Note, I am trying to do her a favor because, even if she refused the ticket, after the 10-days she would STILL receive a citation, as we keep a stub from the tickets we issue and turn them into the police. I’m giving her a chance to pay a much smaller fine)
CL “You just seem like such a nice person, you have such a nice face and I’d LOVE to see you in Heaven with me!”
ME (As I'm thinking that my Heaven would not include HER!) “Well, that’s nice of you Ma’am, so have a nice day and…”
CL “Oh, I want to quote you something!” (And launches into something from the Bible. I smile and nod, finally able to say my goodbyes)
And she begins backing away, still talking about how she hopes I’ll “See the light” and such. Except she’s walking BACKWARDS across the cross-walk while cars screech to a stop on either side! I yell “Ma’am, watch the road!” and she turns-around and walks jauntily to her car. Unfortunately, a gentleman was just parking next to her and I watched as she latched onto him, waving her ticket around, and pulled-out another pamphlet…..
I left as fast as I could and hid in my office for a long while, in-case she came looking for me!
Where I work, I (my department) am allowed to write parking tickets. They are actual local police department tickets and you have 10-days to pay the fine, at which point if you haven’t you receive a citation for 10X the original amount of the ticket. We write the most tickets for people illegally parking in handicap spots. They either A) don’t have a card or plate, or B) are using an expired (and sometimes ‘altered’ card).
I had just written a ticket for a vehicle that very obviously did not have one. And I look. Everywhere (visor, dash, floor, sticking from the side of the door, etc) for cards just in case the driver just forgot to put it up (Oh I HATE when someone whines “But it was hanging from my miiiirrrooooorrrr, you just must not have seeeeennnnn it!”)
I was in the area for several more minutes when I saw a woman approach the vehicle and begin looking at the ticket. It’s not my job to judge whether someone ‘looks’ or ‘acts’ handicapped. If they have proof they are, I void the ticket no problem. If they don’t have proof, I stand my ground. The woman sees me and starts stomping my way; she’s a slightly older woman, but very….energetic.
CL = Crazy Lady
ME = Me
CL “Were you the one who put this on my car??”
ME (No, it was the Easter Bunny) “Yes, I did, but if you have your handicap card I can void it.”
CL “We’ll I am handicapped, my feet are all cracked; I can show you!”
ME “No, I don’t need to see, do you have your card?”
CL “No, I don’t have a card, I applied to be handicapped 10-years ago when I thought I had emphysema…” (She begins ranting about how she used to smoke, did I smoke, how she confronted a man she saw smoking and told him God didn’t want him to die that way…I now see that religion is going to come into the fold) “You can see I’m handicapped, do you have nothing better to do all day than kill trees by handing these out!? What is your education?”
ME “College Ma’am, Bachelors degree.”
CL “And you do THIS!? You couldn’t find something worthwhile!?”
“This pays well Ma’am. And it is worthwhile to those who need these spots when they’re being used by people who don’t need them; I’m sure you understand.” (Then ensues an almost normal conversation concerning where we went to school. I try to get her back on-track) “Do you at least have your paperwork or your wallet card?”
CL “No, how do I get one of those?”
ME “Well, if your doctor had declared you eligible you would have filled-out the form with -local dept. of motor vehicles-. So you just have to bring your proof to the local police department…”
CL “Where are they!?”
ME “Right here Ma’am (points to address printed on her ticket; the station is not even 2-miles away).”
CL “So I go there to get proof that I’m handicapped?”
ME “No, no Ma’am, you should already have that. (Woman begins arguing that it is too much running around for her to get this ‘mysterious’ proof. I am pretty sure at this point that she does not have any at all. I try to extradite myself from the situation, when that sneaky religion rears its head again. At this point I’m holding the ticket because she wanted me to write directions on it and sort of thrust it into my hands) “So, you just have to take your ticket within 10-days and…”(Tries to hand it back to her)
CL “Oh, I don’t want it, can’t you tear it-up and ‘pretend’ you never gave it to me?”
ME “Ma’am, ethically and morally I cannot do that.” (Tries to hand it back again)
CL “Well, God was probably telling me to talk to you, that’s why he had you do this. Do you believe in the Higher Power?”
ME “Yes, in a way.”
CL “What’s your Religion?” (Oh, I should have lied! Or said I was the same thing she was. But I’m open and not ashamed of my beliefs)
ME “I’m -------” (Then spend 5-minutes trying to explain it, trying to keep my parents and upbringing out-of the conversation, and steer her back towards the ticket. Finally, headway! She tries to hand me a religious pamphlet and invites me to her church. I try to refuse it politely)
CL “Well, If you don’t take this, I won’t take that (gestures to the ticket).”
ME “(Sigh) All right Ma’am, I’ll trade you. (I take the pamphlet and she FINALLY takes the ticket. Note, I am trying to do her a favor because, even if she refused the ticket, after the 10-days she would STILL receive a citation, as we keep a stub from the tickets we issue and turn them into the police. I’m giving her a chance to pay a much smaller fine)
CL “You just seem like such a nice person, you have such a nice face and I’d LOVE to see you in Heaven with me!”
ME (As I'm thinking that my Heaven would not include HER!) “Well, that’s nice of you Ma’am, so have a nice day and…”
CL “Oh, I want to quote you something!” (And launches into something from the Bible. I smile and nod, finally able to say my goodbyes)
And she begins backing away, still talking about how she hopes I’ll “See the light” and such. Except she’s walking BACKWARDS across the cross-walk while cars screech to a stop on either side! I yell “Ma’am, watch the road!” and she turns-around and walks jauntily to her car. Unfortunately, a gentleman was just parking next to her and I watched as she latched onto him, waving her ticket around, and pulled-out another pamphlet…..
I left as fast as I could and hid in my office for a long while, in-case she came looking for me!
What does religion have to do with anything? And for that matter, if someone has cracked feet but is very energetic....
I think I've had her in the store before! Only she was complaining about the taxes.
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