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Regular customer, yeah right!
So, this lady walks in some day...
(me) "Good afternoon, may I help you in any way?"
(her) "I'd like a copy of <title>"
(me) *digging it up* "No problem, I have some of these right here. That'll be 54.95 then (D-Marks at the time)"
(her) "Huh, what?"
(me) *double checking the price* "54.95"
(her) "But that's what is written on the box"
(me) So you know the price, what's the problem, lady? "Well, that's why I'm asking for this very amount."
(her) "I don't think so. I should get at least 10 DM off"
(me) "May I inquire why?"
(her) *snippily* "After all, I visit here on a regular basis."
(me) Interesting. How come I haven't seen you even once in the last two years? "Excuse me, your name was..."
(her) "Anne Titlement, why?"
(me) *looking her name up in the store system... right, there she is. Two purchases in the last twelve months, one of them being a $3 cable, the other one one single game*
(me) "I'm sorry, but I will have to adhere to the listed price."
(her) "Well, I SHOULD be able to get discount. After all <competitor> has it for 49.95"
(me) So why didn't you buy it there, then? "I am terribly sorry, I will be following this store's OPFA policy."
(her) "Op-what?"
(me) *with a perfectly straight face* "OPFA. One Price Fits All."
at which point she threw a hissy fit, tossed the game at my head (she missed) and stormed out of the store, cursing me.
But you said you'd have it!
Customer walk in, looks around the store for quite some time.
(me) "Excuse me, may I help you in any way?"
(him) "Nah, I'm just browsing, thanks."
Fine by me. About 10 minutes later, he steps up to the counter
(him) "I can't find <title> anywhere, don't you carry it?"
(me) "Oh, it's scheduled to be released tomorrow; we will get the delivery at about 9:00 to 9:30"
(him) "Not good enough. I want it now."
(me) "Like I said, I don't have any. Would you like to pre-order, so I can hold one for you?"
(him) "Forget it. I'm gonna get it at <competitor>"
(me) "Sir, I doubt you'll get anything from them today, either. See, <publisher> has made it clear that they will sue anyone who sells a copy before the scheduled release date. Which is tomorrow."
(him) *rising voice* "So, you have it, you just won't sell any to me?"
(me) *sigh* "I said that I don't have it. It is possible that <competitor> already received their shipment; we did not. And they won't sell you any copy before tomorrow, either."
(him) "We'll see about that!" *storms out*
Next day, around 12:00, he comes back. Of course, he parks his car right in front of the store, in a no-parking area...
(him) *in an unfriendly tone* "Okay, give me my <title>, <competitor> has sold it out."
(me) *in an almost honey-dripping voice* "Well, good day to you too, sir." *not moving from my place*
(him) "Didn't you hear me? Just give me a copy of <title>
(me) "Umm, I don't think so."
(him) "WHAT? You said, you'd have it by today..."
(me) "Which we did."
(him) "And <competitor> claims they are sold out..."
(me) "So are we."
(him) "This is UNACCEPTABLE. Look, I can see FROM HERE that you have a STACK OF THEM IN YOUR BACKROOM"
(me) Note to self: Close door to backroom next time "Those are pre-ordered." Actually, if you had done so yesterday, this stack would have one more box on it by now.
(him) "YOU WILL SELL ONE TO ME!"
(me) "Sir, watch that voice of yours."
(him) "YOU WILL SELL ONE TO ME! NOW!"
(me) "Umm... Which part of 'NO' didn't you understand?"
(him) "I WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT THAT GAME" *pushes into the back room and grabs a box*
(me) *now in a deadly cold voice* "You have about three seconds to put that down, leave the backroom, and get out of this store. Otherwise, I will have you removed by force." *grabs the telephone*
(him) "So you are threatening me now?"
(me) "Out. Now." *picking the box from his hands*
(him) *going back into the store* "I will file a complaint about you. I will have this store closed down, you hear me?"
(me) "Out."
...and he turned towards the front door just in time to witness his car being towed...
Ah, customers. Can't live with them, can't kill enough to make a difference.
So, this lady walks in some day...
(me) "Good afternoon, may I help you in any way?"
(her) "I'd like a copy of <title>"
(me) *digging it up* "No problem, I have some of these right here. That'll be 54.95 then (D-Marks at the time)"
(her) "Huh, what?"
(me) *double checking the price* "54.95"
(her) "But that's what is written on the box"
(me) So you know the price, what's the problem, lady? "Well, that's why I'm asking for this very amount."
(her) "I don't think so. I should get at least 10 DM off"
(me) "May I inquire why?"
(her) *snippily* "After all, I visit here on a regular basis."
(me) Interesting. How come I haven't seen you even once in the last two years? "Excuse me, your name was..."
(her) "Anne Titlement, why?"
(me) *looking her name up in the store system... right, there she is. Two purchases in the last twelve months, one of them being a $3 cable, the other one one single game*
(me) "I'm sorry, but I will have to adhere to the listed price."
(her) "Well, I SHOULD be able to get discount. After all <competitor> has it for 49.95"
(me) So why didn't you buy it there, then? "I am terribly sorry, I will be following this store's OPFA policy."
(her) "Op-what?"
(me) *with a perfectly straight face* "OPFA. One Price Fits All."
at which point she threw a hissy fit, tossed the game at my head (she missed) and stormed out of the store, cursing me.
But you said you'd have it!
Customer walk in, looks around the store for quite some time.
(me) "Excuse me, may I help you in any way?"
(him) "Nah, I'm just browsing, thanks."
Fine by me. About 10 minutes later, he steps up to the counter
(him) "I can't find <title> anywhere, don't you carry it?"
(me) "Oh, it's scheduled to be released tomorrow; we will get the delivery at about 9:00 to 9:30"
(him) "Not good enough. I want it now."
(me) "Like I said, I don't have any. Would you like to pre-order, so I can hold one for you?"
(him) "Forget it. I'm gonna get it at <competitor>"
(me) "Sir, I doubt you'll get anything from them today, either. See, <publisher> has made it clear that they will sue anyone who sells a copy before the scheduled release date. Which is tomorrow."
(him) *rising voice* "So, you have it, you just won't sell any to me?"
(me) *sigh* "I said that I don't have it. It is possible that <competitor> already received their shipment; we did not. And they won't sell you any copy before tomorrow, either."
(him) "We'll see about that!" *storms out*
Next day, around 12:00, he comes back. Of course, he parks his car right in front of the store, in a no-parking area...
(him) *in an unfriendly tone* "Okay, give me my <title>, <competitor> has sold it out."
(me) *in an almost honey-dripping voice* "Well, good day to you too, sir." *not moving from my place*
(him) "Didn't you hear me? Just give me a copy of <title>
(me) "Umm, I don't think so."
(him) "WHAT? You said, you'd have it by today..."
(me) "Which we did."
(him) "And <competitor> claims they are sold out..."
(me) "So are we."
(him) "This is UNACCEPTABLE. Look, I can see FROM HERE that you have a STACK OF THEM IN YOUR BACKROOM"
(me) Note to self: Close door to backroom next time "Those are pre-ordered." Actually, if you had done so yesterday, this stack would have one more box on it by now.
(him) "YOU WILL SELL ONE TO ME!"
(me) "Sir, watch that voice of yours."
(him) "YOU WILL SELL ONE TO ME! NOW!"
(me) "Umm... Which part of 'NO' didn't you understand?"
(him) "I WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT THAT GAME" *pushes into the back room and grabs a box*
(me) *now in a deadly cold voice* "You have about three seconds to put that down, leave the backroom, and get out of this store. Otherwise, I will have you removed by force." *grabs the telephone*
(him) "So you are threatening me now?"
(me) "Out. Now." *picking the box from his hands*
(him) *going back into the store* "I will file a complaint about you. I will have this store closed down, you hear me?"
(me) "Out."
...and he turned towards the front door just in time to witness his car being towed...
Ah, customers. Can't live with them, can't kill enough to make a difference.
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