The Hamburgler

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Yeah, thanks. Your descriptions made me choke on my spaghetti. Apparently, I can't drink OR EAT while reading this site.

You just figured that out now?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You just figured that out now?

Don't be rough on the newbie . . . they can't learn everything in a day.

But only one split second to realize your laptop ain't waterproof.

And this concludes our nightly message from the Save-A-Laptop Network. We now return you to your regularly scheduled laughing and pointing at the dumb shoplifter. . .

[Cookiesaur]

Ha! Nashida, don't worry. Sounds like we're from the same brainwashed generation.

For the record, my husband feels the same way Boss did about ketchup and mustard on anything. He insists it's what little kids who don't know any better do.

But it's so delicious.

[Ironclad Alibi]

But only one spit second to realize your laptop ain't waterproof.

Edited for what really happens.

[Becks]

Most of them involve asking us if we'd seen anything, and the response is inevitably, "Yes. And it was fucking AWESOME."

Sounds like the response I'd give.

[Akasa]

LOL! Great story.

[SailorMan]

That sounds like it should be re-enacted as a charity event: "The Hamburglar Fun Run." All participants have to cross the finish line after having lost everything in their storage-parka, an item at a time. Of course, you lose automatically if Officer Big Mac or Mayor McCheese catches you first.

Good stories! Can't wait to hear another one!

[ArcticChicken]

Just two slices of bread slapped together, each slathered in either ketchup or mustard. Yeah, kids are weird like that.

Ketchup and potato chip.

Yeah, thanks. Your descriptions made me choke on my spaghetti. Apparently, I can't drink OR EAT while reading this site.

Actually, I have mastered this art. You take a bit or a sip, you swallow, then you read.

[Antisocial_Worker]

You know, I would doubt this story except that once, hand to God, I was approached in a parking lot by a man who whipped open his long coat -- just like the stereotypical Times Square "Rollex" (sic) salesman -- and offered me a choice of several gold necklaces, some watches and bracelets, or packs of hamburger meat and hot dogs.

I declined.

[AriRashkae]

What, no onions?

[fireheart]

Owww.....my stomach hurts now from laughing so hard

[LibraryLady]

I loved mustard sandwiches on rye bread when I was a kid. I also loved potato chip sandwiches. These were made of fluffy white bread, a thick smear of mayonnaise and potato chips (crisps for non-US readers) It was crunchy. It was salty. It was everything that Mom said a sandwich shouldn't be.

When I think about it now, I can hear my arteries slamming shut just reading about it, but oh how good it was. I also liked to put potato chips on my tuna salad sandwich. Extra Mayo and chips on a tuna salad sandwich was bliss.

[morgana]

I also liked to put potato chips on my tuna salad sandwich. Extra Mayo and chips on a tuna salad sandwich was bliss.

Quoted for truth. Perhaps supper tonight . . .

[JoitheArtist]

What's also good is a little iceberg lettuce on a peanut-butter and banana sandwich. I know, it sounds gross, but you can't really taste it, and it adds a nice crunch.

[depechemodefan]

I read this story at work, out on the desk, near the public. Luckily no one is around, or else the usual 'tards would ask me "what's so funny?"

That was a beautiful story. Now it sounds like the guy could have ran with all that stuff on him all the way home.

You know, I would doubt this story except that once, hand to God, I was approached in a parking lot by a man who whipped open his long coat -- just like the stereotypical Times Square "Rollex" (sic) salesman -- and offered me a choice of several gold necklaces, some watches and bracelets, or packs of hamburger meat and hot dogs.

I declined.

Ok, that is just awesome!