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...That's what I told my coworker yesterday while we were standing around with nothing to do. This became a debate as to whether a local ice cream parlor or a national chain had the better product, with me being of the opinion that the franchise did and my coworker siding with the local business. A customer walked in and became involved in the debate as well. Eventually we let the matter rest, though the entire argument made me quite hungry. I solved that problem by enjoying a milkshake earlier today. I drank that milkshake... I drank it up!
But I digress.
I'll sue the university!
This is an old favorite of mine. As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I work for a college bookstore that is also an Apple reseller. We had gotten the latest generation of iPod Nano's in about a month ago and they were selling very well. As such, I thought it was a little odd when I saw a woman walk in with an unopened, previous generation iPod.
Now, our return policy on the Apple products is perfectly clear: we make it up as we go along. The higher ups have never really given us any real direction on if or how we can take back the Apple merchandise, so my supervisor and I have come up with our own policies. If it's unopened and was bought within two weeks, we'll take it back. If it's open and defective, and was purchased only a few days ago, we'll take it back. Otherwise, we can't really do anything. The reason for this is because there is a strict limit as to how much stuff we can send back to Apple for credit, a limit that we cannot exceed in the course of a year. We use a lot of this to send back outdated product and get the latest stuff, which is always fun. But anyway, back to the iPod.
Me:
AS: Awesome supervisor
AL: Angry Lady
AL: Hi, I'd like to return this. *places unopened, outdated iPod on counter, along with receipt.
Me: *looks at receipt, iPod was bought nearly a month ago* "I'm sorry, this is past the return date, we can't accept a return.*
AL: *blows up* NO! Do NOT tell me that! It is the LAW that you have to put your return policy on the receipt! I will SUE the university, I'm not kidding! I was out of the country and didn't even open it!
*AS walks over and looks at the iPod* Alright, let me go talk to the manager and I'll see what I can do.
My supervisor is awesome, he was not going to let some crazy lady berate a couple of student employees, and he just wanted to get her out of the store. So, he goes to speak with the manager over at the other store, while my coworker and I try to find something to do and avoid AL's death glare while we wait. He comes back, and we accept the return. When she left, he explained that when somebody comes in and goes nuts like that, just get them out of the store as quickly as you can.
Is this paper?
We have a huge stack of computer paper right inside our door, and more times than I can count, somebody will pick up a stack of it and ask, "Is this just regular paper?" I want to say, "No. It is not. If you were to try and print a report using this paper, what came out would only be a highly detailed account of how you are going to die, replete with poorly made charts and information cited from Wikipedia." Of course, I can't actually do that
.
She didn't want it anymore?!
Right before the winter holiday a woman came into the store and asked about buying a Mac Pro, which we don't carry in stock but can special order. For those who don't know, a Mac Pro is an immensely powerful machine, capable of bending time and space. It is not for the weak of heart or the foolish. Sure, Apple makes lots of friendly systems that will happily assist you with your homework and store your music, but the Mac Pro is an evil power few are worthy of owning. If one were to purchase this machine and use it only for editing one's Myspace page or writing quasi-amusing stories on a message board *innocent whistle*, eventually the computer would explode in anger at being underutilized. It has the power for good, but left unattended or unloved, it will become corrupt with rage.
So, I help the woman configure her system using an online tool. I get the impression that price isn't really an object, so I help her come up with a system that will have everything she needs, and it ends up costing over three thousand dollars. Now, we don't require a deposit or anything on special orders, though we doubt this will be an issue since before she leaves, she purchases an additional thousand dollars in high-end production software. I print out the order and put it into our special order bin.
I come back after the break, and my coworker tells me that when the system arrived, they gave the woman a call, and she no longer wanted it! To this very day, the system waits in our back room, brooding within its immense, all black packaging. Whenever I go back there I steal a glance at the box. I can feel its presence within, a great evil machined out of aluminum and polished with the tears of the dying. I'll shout at it, "I created you, and I can destroy you!", causing our customers some concern, no doubt. It doesn't matter, I have kept them safe for another day.
I really do like my job, I just wish I didn't have to deal with so much suckage from time to time.
But I digress.
I'll sue the university!
This is an old favorite of mine. As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I work for a college bookstore that is also an Apple reseller. We had gotten the latest generation of iPod Nano's in about a month ago and they were selling very well. As such, I thought it was a little odd when I saw a woman walk in with an unopened, previous generation iPod.
Now, our return policy on the Apple products is perfectly clear: we make it up as we go along. The higher ups have never really given us any real direction on if or how we can take back the Apple merchandise, so my supervisor and I have come up with our own policies. If it's unopened and was bought within two weeks, we'll take it back. If it's open and defective, and was purchased only a few days ago, we'll take it back. Otherwise, we can't really do anything. The reason for this is because there is a strict limit as to how much stuff we can send back to Apple for credit, a limit that we cannot exceed in the course of a year. We use a lot of this to send back outdated product and get the latest stuff, which is always fun. But anyway, back to the iPod.
Me:
AS: Awesome supervisor
AL: Angry Lady
AL: Hi, I'd like to return this. *places unopened, outdated iPod on counter, along with receipt.
Me: *looks at receipt, iPod was bought nearly a month ago* "I'm sorry, this is past the return date, we can't accept a return.*
AL: *blows up* NO! Do NOT tell me that! It is the LAW that you have to put your return policy on the receipt! I will SUE the university, I'm not kidding! I was out of the country and didn't even open it!
*AS walks over and looks at the iPod* Alright, let me go talk to the manager and I'll see what I can do.
My supervisor is awesome, he was not going to let some crazy lady berate a couple of student employees, and he just wanted to get her out of the store. So, he goes to speak with the manager over at the other store, while my coworker and I try to find something to do and avoid AL's death glare while we wait. He comes back, and we accept the return. When she left, he explained that when somebody comes in and goes nuts like that, just get them out of the store as quickly as you can.
Is this paper?
We have a huge stack of computer paper right inside our door, and more times than I can count, somebody will pick up a stack of it and ask, "Is this just regular paper?" I want to say, "No. It is not. If you were to try and print a report using this paper, what came out would only be a highly detailed account of how you are going to die, replete with poorly made charts and information cited from Wikipedia." Of course, I can't actually do that
.She didn't want it anymore?!
Right before the winter holiday a woman came into the store and asked about buying a Mac Pro, which we don't carry in stock but can special order. For those who don't know, a Mac Pro is an immensely powerful machine, capable of bending time and space. It is not for the weak of heart or the foolish. Sure, Apple makes lots of friendly systems that will happily assist you with your homework and store your music, but the Mac Pro is an evil power few are worthy of owning. If one were to purchase this machine and use it only for editing one's Myspace page or writing quasi-amusing stories on a message board *innocent whistle*, eventually the computer would explode in anger at being underutilized. It has the power for good, but left unattended or unloved, it will become corrupt with rage.
So, I help the woman configure her system using an online tool. I get the impression that price isn't really an object, so I help her come up with a system that will have everything she needs, and it ends up costing over three thousand dollars. Now, we don't require a deposit or anything on special orders, though we doubt this will be an issue since before she leaves, she purchases an additional thousand dollars in high-end production software. I print out the order and put it into our special order bin.
I come back after the break, and my coworker tells me that when the system arrived, they gave the woman a call, and she no longer wanted it! To this very day, the system waits in our back room, brooding within its immense, all black packaging. Whenever I go back there I steal a glance at the box. I can feel its presence within, a great evil machined out of aluminum and polished with the tears of the dying. I'll shout at it, "I created you, and I can destroy you!", causing our customers some concern, no doubt. It doesn't matter, I have kept them safe for another day.
I really do like my job, I just wish I didn't have to deal with so much suckage from time to time.
I've been looking everywhere for that! Please tell me you have some left! 
I am such a sucker for the "shineys". 
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