Third Times a Charm

[Igorina]

Why yes newer student, in this martial art we spar; both stand up fighting and ground fighting.

Yes, the black belts will pair us up with whomever in an effort to give us experience.

Yup, I'm a brown belt and you're not. It's okay you've been taught the basics, and sparring is a excellant way to learn which techniques could work for you in a fight.

Yup, I'm a 5ft 3in (157.5cm), 150 lb (68 kg) female, and you're a 6ft 8in (200 cm) 220lb (90kg) male. Your powers of observation astound me.

However, time's awasting and we only have 90 seconds to spar: less talking more sparring!

...You're just standing there.

I see. You're not supposed to hit girls. And you don't want to hurt me.

So, you're going to deny me the experience of fighting someone of your stature. You do realize I'm more likely to be assaulted than you, right? That the experience I gain from fighting you could make a very real difference in the street, right?

....

And now you're saying you don't want to fight me because I'm 'too mean', and you don't want me angry at you. Why, because you might end up with a few bruises from a girl? I would like to point out that I have better control over the force I use in sparring than you do. I haven't kicked anyone in the nadgers, you have.

Third time up, and now the truth comes out: you have something a crush on me and think that fighting me and possibly bruising me would hurt your chances. What makes you think you had a chance to begin with?

I would be less annoyed if this did not happen at least once a year. It's not that I don't like being found attractive, but rather that these blokes think that not respecting my desire to learn will win me over.

[Apathy]

What!?
Chicks love being talked down to/underestimated/marginalized! Don't they?

I'm so desperately lonely...

[powerboy]

Maybe they think that you are tired of being hit on


Get it, because you are in martial arts and oh never mind.

[Wade]

I used to train in martial arts (didn't get very far). And here's my attitude about women in martial arts:

If you're gonna train, you're gonna train like everyone else. That includes sparring. You're gonna fight.

Having said that.... some of my worst beatings came at the hands of the other female students, and I'm not ashamed to say it. Man, some of them, while being very nice individuals, would just be absolutely relentless in sparring. Good God almighty, for the sixteenth time, MY ARM DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!!!!

[Igorina]

Maybe they think that you are tired of being hit on


Get it, because you are in martial arts and oh never mind.

Alright! You! Off to the punitentiary!

[Igorina]

I used to train in martial arts (didn't get very far). And here's my attitude about women in martial arts:

If you're gonna train, you're gonna train like everyone else. That includes sparring. You're gonna fight.

I like to spar, even though I'm not that great at it. And I love that the vast majority of the guys I spar with are okay with fighting me and not treating me like I'm feeble.

My only rule is that so long as I'm not punched in the nipples, the guys don't kicked in the groin.

[bloodrose]

What!?
Chicks love being talked down to/underestimated/marginalized! Don't they?

I'm so desperately lonely...

Maybe they think that you are tired of being hit on


Get it, because you are in martial arts and oh never mind.

Alright! You! Off to the punitentiary!

OMG. These responses, they made me laugh hard enough to be in pain. Thanks a lot!

[Ironclad Alibi]

Third time up, and now the truth comes out: you have something a crush on me and think that fighting me and possibly bruising me would hurt your chances. What makes you think you had a chance to begin with?

Let's see if I have this straight.

He wants to hit on you.

You want him to hit on you.

Yet he isn't hitting on you.

Whether or not he had a chance, he sure wasn't going to take the one offered to him. And we all know what that makes him.

[Automan Empire]

Hey, cool. What martial art are you in?

I've been studying Aikido for almost 8 months, and just got my yellow belt.

Luckily, my dojo is relatively small and intimate. I wish there were more women involved, but the ones that are, are not shrinking violets. And the men respect them and yet would gladly spar or rondo with the women any time.

In fact, one brown belt I was working with briefly was tough as nails. She wasn't yielding a bit when I had the technique wrong. She was helpful, for which I was grateful, and it went without saying that I respected her superior skillz. (haha)

[Igorina]

Hey, cool. What martial art are you in?

I've been studying Aikido for almost 8 months, and just got my yellow belt.

I am in Han Mu Do. I was in Tae Kwon Do, and Kendo, but never got very far in either of them.

Our dojaeng is still pretty small, there are about 6 of us brown belts that have come up together (I am the only female brown belt). We have a about a dozen local university students that are taking it for this semester's gym credit, but the adult classes are still pretty small.

The kid's classes on the other hand...

[Nurian]

Whenever I sparred (studied Kuk Sool Wan and Tae Kwon Do), I didn't care who my partner was, I just went full force. In a real fight, no one is going to hold back, was my thinking. I thought I was being too harsh until a girl I sparred with told me she was able to fend off a guy because she wasn't scared to go toe-to-toe with him because of me.

Hopefully these guys will learn this lesson (if they stay). Too often, they pay, stay for a month and leave.

[Moggie]

I used to have this problem now and then as an SCA heavy fighter.

The best answer I've ever seen given was "Fight me, or yield to me, but get out of my way." given by a dear friend who probably weighs as much as my left leg. A Very Big Dude was trying to find a means of getting out of the fight with her.

Of course the guy then tried to spar with her and she dropped him with a single shot to the head. He might have been better off yielding.

On the mat or on the field, a fighter is a fighter is a fighter. We all smell the same at the end of the day anyway.

[SuperB]

When my son was much younger it was so fun to watch him spar with the girls. He started around age 6 or 7 and they could whip his butt because he didn't want to hit the girls. Even now I catch him going easy on them and have to get on him about it.

[Hyndis]

This is definitely one place where chivalry should not exist. Both genders ought to be treated equally on the sparring mat. Everyone knows what they're getting in to, everyone is there for the practice, and everyone (hopefully!) at least has some idea on how to fight.

Besides, woman are NOT delicate flowers that must be protected from the world. Thats just an excuse some use to get off easy on things. The female body can take just as much punishment as the male body. They're not made out of glass or anything, people.

There's a time and a place for hitting people. Generally don't do this to anyone, regardless of gender. But on the sparring mat, the entire point of things is to hit people, and for them to learn to avoid being hit!

Sparring is probably the best part of martial arts. Its all theory up until the point at which you start to hit someone, and they try to hit you back. Thats where you get the real practice in.

[Polenicus]

I like to spar, even though I'm not that great at it. And I love that the vast majority of the guys I spar with are okay with fighting me and not treating me like I'm feeble.

My only rule is that so long as I'm not punched in the nipples, the guys don't kicked in the groin.

Reminds me of a story a friend told me, of his martial arts days.

Now, I don't remember what art he was in, or what belt. Just the gist of the story.

My friend is pretty small himself, by the way.

Anyway, he was pretty decent in his class, but f all the students, there was this one girl who you could tell was destined to go on to do this professionally. She was scary, scary good... fast, skilled, and basically would have her poor opponent looking like a pretzel before he knew what happened.

My friend, having a healthy respect for not being a pretzel, was naturally terrified of sparring with her.

So, of course, one day that's what happened. He faced off against this girl... who was tiny, even to him, and looked about as dangerous as a porcelein doll... knowing she was going invert parts of him that should never be inverted.

The topic of the day's lesson was... distraction techniques.

So, in a moment of brilliance, the instant the instructor said 'begin', he lashed out with his right arm...

... and savagely flicked her nipple.

This naturally resulted in a very brief, but vital neural misfire, as rather than immediately destroying him, she instead looked down, not quite able to believe he had just done that.

My friend then decked her with a left hook while she was still in shock, and dropped her to the mat.

"What the hell are you doing?" The instructor asked in disbelief.

"Winning!" He cheered, ecstatic.

... So, the instructor paired him with her for the rest of the day. And she 'thanked' him for the lesson in distraction, by showing him various ways to bend that he didn't know he could bend before (And probably couldn't)

Still, it was the only time he ever beat her, and he figures it was worth it.