Tweet
I love the description "cat butt face." It's something I learned here, but now it's stuck in my mind every time I see one. Here's a few recent ones from my workplace:
ME: Me, obviously
SC: Sucky Customer, obviously
Background: We have a 30 day return policy -- if you return an item within 30 days with your receipt, you get back whatever manner payment you had used. After 30 days, it's a store credit. I was called by a cashier as a customer wanted her cash back for a $19.99 sweater bought in early November. This is the second week of February.
SC: I want my cash.
ME: I'm sorry, but you would have had to return this within 30 days to get your cash back. Our store credits don't expire and there are no maintenance fees. They're good until you use them.
SC: I can't get here. I want my cash.
ME: We have dozens of locations throughout New Jersey. The store credit never expires and will be the $19.99 until you use it.
SC: It was a Christmas gift.
ME: Our holiday return policy ended the first week of January. It's now the second week of February.
SC: I just want cash back.
ME: I'm sorry, but all we will give is a store credit. You have a choice -- keep the sweater or give it to a friend or charity ... or take the store credit. You can give that to a friend if you wish, but that's all we can offer.
SC: It doesn't say 30 days anywhere.
ME: Right here on the bottom of your receipt, it does.
SC: But it also says "other restrictions may apply." I want another restriction.
ME: [Incredulous] You want other restrictions? Um, okay. If it's used or worn, we can't take it back. If it's a DVD and you opened it, we can't take it back. You see ... "other restrictions" mean we take less back.
SC: [CAT BUTT FACE TO THE MAX] I guess I'll take the store credit.
Background: We recently changed our queue system. Now all customers are in one line, cashiers along a long counter, all registers do both purchases and refunds. As we free up, we push a button to call the next customer in line. We have a huge blue sign which reads: "PURCHASES AND RETURNS" where the customers enter the maze.
Now, this happens about every ten minutes ... and we always get the cat butt face from just about each SC.
ME: [Looks up and sees customer with bag standing not where the line is by the first register] Ma'am, are you returning something? Purchases and refunds are in one line over there [points].
SC: I'm doing a refund.
ME: Yes, one line ... over there. See the big blue sign which says Purchases AND Returns, right there is where you go.
SC: You have one line for everyone ... purchases and returns?
ME: Yes, one line for both. [Ready to pound head on counter ... what part of "AND" do these people not understand?]
ME: Just go to where the big blue sign is and enter there. [Points]
SC: [Looks at the long multi-cashier counter instead of where I'm pointing.]
ME: No, look where I'm pointing. Do you see that huge sign which says Refunds AND Purchases?
SC: I have to wait in that line? [Cat butt face]
ME: Gah!
Although we have a fairly open-ended return policy as far as receiving store credit, some people are ridiculous. I've been with the company longer than some employees have been alive. I know my price tickets over the decades.
SC: I want to return this. I bought it a few weeks ago but I lost my receipt.
ME: [Looking at item, notice the department number used was last used in 1994, completely different ticket technology than used today, etc.] I'm sorry, but this item is over ten years old. We can't take this back.
SC: The ticket is still attached. It hasn't been used.
ME: It's an item of clothing, well out of date now. It's at least 14 years old. We can't take it back. We mark down items seasonally. This hit zero dollars at least 14 years ago. Plus, our registers won't even accept the department numbers.
SC: I just got it as a gift. Can't I have a merchandise credit?
ME: [Liar, liar ... you said you bought it when this first started.] No. We cannot take it back. We cannot take back merchandise which hasn't been sold for a decade and a half. No.
SC: [Cat butt face]
ME: Me, obviously
SC: Sucky Customer, obviously
Background: We have a 30 day return policy -- if you return an item within 30 days with your receipt, you get back whatever manner payment you had used. After 30 days, it's a store credit. I was called by a cashier as a customer wanted her cash back for a $19.99 sweater bought in early November. This is the second week of February.
SC: I want my cash.
ME: I'm sorry, but you would have had to return this within 30 days to get your cash back. Our store credits don't expire and there are no maintenance fees. They're good until you use them.
SC: I can't get here. I want my cash.
ME: We have dozens of locations throughout New Jersey. The store credit never expires and will be the $19.99 until you use it.
SC: It was a Christmas gift.
ME: Our holiday return policy ended the first week of January. It's now the second week of February.
SC: I just want cash back.
ME: I'm sorry, but all we will give is a store credit. You have a choice -- keep the sweater or give it to a friend or charity ... or take the store credit. You can give that to a friend if you wish, but that's all we can offer.
SC: It doesn't say 30 days anywhere.
ME: Right here on the bottom of your receipt, it does.
SC: But it also says "other restrictions may apply." I want another restriction.
ME: [Incredulous] You want other restrictions? Um, okay. If it's used or worn, we can't take it back. If it's a DVD and you opened it, we can't take it back. You see ... "other restrictions" mean we take less back.
SC: [CAT BUTT FACE TO THE MAX] I guess I'll take the store credit.
Background: We recently changed our queue system. Now all customers are in one line, cashiers along a long counter, all registers do both purchases and refunds. As we free up, we push a button to call the next customer in line. We have a huge blue sign which reads: "PURCHASES AND RETURNS" where the customers enter the maze.
Now, this happens about every ten minutes ... and we always get the cat butt face from just about each SC.
ME: [Looks up and sees customer with bag standing not where the line is by the first register] Ma'am, are you returning something? Purchases and refunds are in one line over there [points].
SC: I'm doing a refund.
ME: Yes, one line ... over there. See the big blue sign which says Purchases AND Returns, right there is where you go.
SC: You have one line for everyone ... purchases and returns?
ME: Yes, one line for both. [Ready to pound head on counter ... what part of "AND" do these people not understand?]
ME: Just go to where the big blue sign is and enter there. [Points]
SC: [Looks at the long multi-cashier counter instead of where I'm pointing.]
ME: No, look where I'm pointing. Do you see that huge sign which says Refunds AND Purchases?
SC: I have to wait in that line? [Cat butt face]
ME: Gah!
Although we have a fairly open-ended return policy as far as receiving store credit, some people are ridiculous. I've been with the company longer than some employees have been alive. I know my price tickets over the decades.
SC: I want to return this. I bought it a few weeks ago but I lost my receipt.
ME: [Looking at item, notice the department number used was last used in 1994, completely different ticket technology than used today, etc.] I'm sorry, but this item is over ten years old. We can't take this back.
SC: The ticket is still attached. It hasn't been used.
ME: It's an item of clothing, well out of date now. It's at least 14 years old. We can't take it back. We mark down items seasonally. This hit zero dollars at least 14 years ago. Plus, our registers won't even accept the department numbers.
SC: I just got it as a gift. Can't I have a merchandise credit?
ME: [Liar, liar ... you said you bought it when this first started.] No. We cannot take it back. We cannot take back merchandise which hasn't been sold for a decade and a half. No.
SC: [Cat butt face]
Christ, I was BORN that year!
Comment