SC's should be comedians!

[GiftShopGirl]

I work at the gift shop/ticket office of a science museum. My manager doesn't work weekends, which means I'm in charge

I was just joking!
I hate it when people ask me for free stuff, then say they were just joking when I say no. Today I got another one of these comedians, but I decided to try something different.
Mrs. Comedian: Hey, do yall have any free stuff in this gift shop?
Me: We sure do!
Mrs. Comedian: *looking like I just told her it was Christmas* Really?!
Me: Yep! Here's a free brochure of our science center!!
Mrs. Comedian: Oh, you know I was just joking, right? hahaha
Me: No, I don't get it.
Mrs. Comedian: Whatever.
HAHAHA what a funny joke. She should do stand up. Not.

It's not the size that matters....
We sell Adult and Child tickets. Some people think it's necessary to tell us their kids ages (as if that changes the price). This SC took it to a whole new level.
SC: Yes, I would like 1 adult and 2 kids - one large and one medium.
Me: We just sell general child's tickets. Prices aren't based on a kid's size.
SC: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY KIDS???
Me: I said we only sell Adult and Child tickets. It doesn't matter if your kids are large or medium.
SC: *emabrassed* I mean, I want 1 adult and 2 child tickets.
The saddest/funniest part was, her kids were standing next to her the whole time and the "large" one looked like he was about to cry.

There's going to a riot!
There's a line out the door and I'm working the single ticket register. Some SC in line decides to help out by adding her two cents.
SC: You better hurry up, girl, or there's going to be a riot!
Me: I hope not, or else you won't be able to get any tickets!
That shut her up fast.

If you don't want it....
Two SCs come up to the register. Both want to buy a flashlight (it comes in a box - this is important). There's only one flashlight left and SC1 has it.

SC1 - has flashlight
SC2 - not so much of an SC. no flashlight.
Me -

SC1: Mmm yes, GiftShopGirl, do you have any more of these flashlights left? (yes, she actually spoke just like that!!!)
Me: *looks in the system* No, that's our last one.
SC2: Well, can't you check in the back?
Me: If it's not in the computer, it won't be in the stock room.
SC1: Well fine, I'll just buy it then. But I require a 25% discount because the box is dented.
Me: *checking the flashlight* The flashlight is fine, it's just the packaging that's dented. I can't give you a discount.
SC1: Mmm well then, GiftShopGirl, I must speak with your manager.
Me: I am the manager right now. There will be no discount.
SC1: *huffy* Mmm well, then I suppose I won't be purchasing this then. You just lost my business.
*SC2's eyes light up because she thinks she's going to get the flashlight*
Me: Fine, just give it to the woman behind you. She'll buy it.
SC1: Nevermind, I'll take it. But I'm not happy about it.
Me: I'm not forcing you to buy it. You can leave if you want to.
SC1: No, I'll take it, I'm just saying I'm not very pleased.
SC2: I'll take it.
SC1: No, I want it! I'd just rather have a discount.
Well, I'd rather not be working here pretending to be polite to your presumptuous attitude and little 'mmm's! I hope the flashlight breaks when your power goes out.

[rts]

I work at the gift shop/ticket office of a science museum. My manager doesn't work weekends, which means I'm in charge

I was just joking!
I hate it when people ask me for free stuff, then say they were just joking when I say no. Today I got another one of these comedians, but I decided to try something different.
Mrs. Comedian: Hey, do yall have any free stuff in this gift shop?
Me: We sure do!
Mrs. Comedian: *looking like I just told her it was Christmas* Really?!
Me: Yep! Here's a free brochure of our science center!!
Mrs. Comedian: Oh, you know I was just joking, right? hahaha
Me: No, I don't get it.
Mrs. Comedian: Whatever.
HAHAHA what a funny joke. She should do stand up. Not.

Customers should not attept humor. We are thrained in this as retail workers, we excell in this and it just should not be attempted by amatuers....it could be fatal!!!

[NightWatch]

Poor chubby kid... That mom is mean.

[SailorMan]

Having been a nerd all my life, some of my happiest memories of being a pre-teen was the science museums of the Midwestern city where I grew up. I was a real science junkie, and the reproductions of fossils and early scientific gadgets they sold in the gift shops thrilled my nerdly soul to death. Now, I own real fossils, and real artifacts, such as fragments of Greek and Coptic papyrus from the 7th and 8th centuries. But just thinking of the science museums of my youth brings back fond memories.

[DesignFox]

Those are some fantastic responses. I totally have to remember them. I especially like the free brochure exchange.

[Bright_Star]

SC's attempt to be funny then get pissed off cause the retail worker doesn't laugh or find the SC funny. Why should we when we've heard their stupid lines thousands of times already?

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Discount because of dented boxes.
One guy tried that on me, getting a discount on a cake with a dented box. The cake itself was fine and untouched.

SC: I should get a discount, it's dented!
Me: Well, the cake is okay.
SC: But the box is dented! Discount!
Me: Sir, are you gonna eat the cake or the box?

pwned.

[Hobbs]

Seriously, I woulda sold it to the second customer, screw that pretentious "mmm"-ing.

[Boozy]

I hate it when people ask me for free stuff, then say they were just joking when I say no. Today I got another one of these comedians, but I decided to try something different.
Mrs. Comedian: Hey, do yall have any free stuff in this gift shop?
Me: We sure do!
Mrs. Comedian: *looking like I just told her it was Christmas* Really?!
Me: Yep! Here's a free brochure of our science center!!
Mrs. Comedian: Oh, you know I was just joking, right? hahaha
Me: No, I don't get it.
Mrs. Comedian: Whatever.
HAHAHA what a funny joke. She should do stand up. Not.

We offer free wine tastings at my store. When some dolt walks in and says "What's free today? Hardy-har-har", I offer him a sample.

I take sick pleasure in taking the wind out of someone's joke.

Wannabe comedians aren't sucky or anything, but they still piss me off to an unreasonable degree. I think they know on some level that they aren't really funny, but they want the gratification of someone laughing at their jokes. And they know that customer service providers are conditioned to smile and laugh. I get so tired of acting sometimes.

[blas]

When I was a host at both restaurants, one of the oldest and stupidest jokes was this: when I'd ask how many in their party, customers with children would constantly snert "Two...and a half. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

Your child is not half of a person. You are not funny.

[Gravekeeper]

There are many things SCs should do. Most of which involing sitting down an rotating. But comedy is not one of them. Few things in this world are more aggravating than someone who thinks they're funny and believes this "gift" needs to be shared. ><

If you don't want it....
Two SCs come up to the register. Both want to buy a flashlight (it comes in a box - this is important). There's only one flashlight left and SC1 has it.

Haha, I'll remember that approach for the next jackass I have that tries something like that.

[Giggle Goose]

Oooh, ooh, I love these! Everyone's comebacks had me LMAO

Don't forget the classics:

*not scanning* It must be free!

*during downtime* I'll give you some work!

Thanks for the laugh, guys