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Management for a nearby apartment call us, there’s a car the maintenance man doesn’t recognize in the lot. A truck is sent over to check it and finds that not only is it not a regular’s car, but there’s a fake permit in it.
You see, there are no fewer than 3 signs up that make it very clear that without a permit, you can’t park in this lot. Some enterprising person decided that to get around the little restriction, he’d make himself a phony permit. Since the permits in that lot are yellow tags that hang from rearview mirrors, he started out with some yellow construction paper, and then his tiny fish-sized brain ran out of oxygen, keeled over in a death rattle and failed him because that was the last correct thing he did in manufacturing his clever forgery.
He got the size of the permit wrong, instead of the standard 3’’ X 6’’ rectangle, his dimensions measured more along the lines of a 3’’ X 3’’ square. Then, instead of cutting the edges of the paper, he simply folded them over and then tore them, creating jagged and furry edges that were sure to attract attention.
But if that didn’t do the trick, his crowning achievement was leaving it blank. Yes, you read that right, he left the poorly sized and incompetently cropped permit BLANK. He didn’t bother with the name of the complex, the dates it was good for or the name of the property company on it, all of which are clearly visible from 20 paces on a real permit, he just left it as blank as his own mind must have been when he saw fit to try his hands at counterfeiting. To call it a forgery would be a disservice to the word.
Needless to say, the car and the "permit" came home on the truck. When he came to pick up the car, the first words out of his mouth?
“How’d you know it wasn’t a real permit?”
Because I haven’t had that frontal lobotomy yet, that’s why.
You see, there are no fewer than 3 signs up that make it very clear that without a permit, you can’t park in this lot. Some enterprising person decided that to get around the little restriction, he’d make himself a phony permit. Since the permits in that lot are yellow tags that hang from rearview mirrors, he started out with some yellow construction paper, and then his tiny fish-sized brain ran out of oxygen, keeled over in a death rattle and failed him because that was the last correct thing he did in manufacturing his clever forgery.
He got the size of the permit wrong, instead of the standard 3’’ X 6’’ rectangle, his dimensions measured more along the lines of a 3’’ X 3’’ square. Then, instead of cutting the edges of the paper, he simply folded them over and then tore them, creating jagged and furry edges that were sure to attract attention.
But if that didn’t do the trick, his crowning achievement was leaving it blank. Yes, you read that right, he left the poorly sized and incompetently cropped permit BLANK. He didn’t bother with the name of the complex, the dates it was good for or the name of the property company on it, all of which are clearly visible from 20 paces on a real permit, he just left it as blank as his own mind must have been when he saw fit to try his hands at counterfeiting. To call it a forgery would be a disservice to the word.
Needless to say, the car and the "permit" came home on the truck. When he came to pick up the car, the first words out of his mouth?
“How’d you know it wasn’t a real permit?”
Because I haven’t had that frontal lobotomy yet, that’s why.
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